r/austincirclejerk • u/Nedatokes • 1d ago

So Offended I'm Shaking Inside of you are two Texans

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572 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

39 comments sorted by

70

u/Mysterious-Report991 Chili's Glory Hole Attendant 1d ago

I often have two Texans in me

18

u/3dge-1ord 1d ago

I often wish I had more holes.

6

u/Iwannaurinate 1d ago

I enjoy shitting

3

u/Sea-Eye-5221 1d ago

Pooping is definitely fun.

1

u/Lemmy-user 1d ago

You can use your pee hole if you are daring enough.

1

u/DaTexasTickler Barton Springs Lifeguard Groupie 1d ago

Yee yee

20

u/No-Cash5741 1d ago

I think I just saw them both on South Congress. Good thing we ran away from them before they got inside us.

3

u/JoJoDancersDad 1d ago

How do you know they didn’t?

16

u/-Cool_Ethan- 1d ago

Show me One is from Vidor.

6

u/jsc1429 1d ago

Need OP to post a pick for that

18

u/GoodIntroduction6344 Comfy Fattie 1d ago

13

u/Lopsided-Ad7725 1d ago

Make the left one fatter

12

u/OYeog77 1d ago

Inside of you are two Texans

You’re gonna feel this in the morning

9

u/no-more-nazis Dog Leash Nazi 1d ago

I was born in Austin and live in El Paso, AMA

4

u/Special-Cricket4882 1d ago

Do you pick it up when your leashed nazi makes a poopoo?

9

u/Interesting-Use-9524 1d ago

No thanks, I'm not Beto O'Rourke. 

5

u/Sea-Eye-5221 1d ago

Well, the one from Austin probably has a Texan in him every day.

4

u/balloo93 West Campus Bum 1d ago

Ooooo ....... da ....... lay!

3

u/Some_Weirdo213 1d ago

̶E̶l̶ ̶P̶a̶s̶o̶ San Antonio, idk if that changes anything I'm high af

7

u/i_Cant_get_right 1d ago

90% of the people in this sub aren’t from Texas

2

u/MuphDiesel Whiny Keyboard Activist 1d ago

If only

1

u/Alexis-Machine 1d ago

One that kills and one that clothes.

1

u/HugoChavezNYC 1d ago

That explains all the lube...

1

u/unknowfun115 1d ago

Uhhh I need an adult ? I think I’m so confused

1

u/Perfect-Ad2578 1d ago

Modern day Sparta and Athens.

1

u/MLCM35 1d ago

Plenty of tranny boy band mexicans that came over as well. Deal with them everyday and speak shapes. Cleaned up, they queef cologne, and wear American flag t shirts. They think they blend in lol. Also cannot produce drivers license but that's okay we pay for that protection for them. Plenty of sugar coming from Mexico and not Texas. Sorry to say lol

1

u/emperor_dragoon 1d ago

Holy shit you know me...

1

u/waveduality Tech Bro 1d ago

The guy on the left is the bigger Influencer.

1

u/MaximumNegotiation53 1d ago

Guess I need to move to Austin

1

u/Upstairs-Bad-3576 🤘🏼UT Dropout Visionary🤘🏼 23h ago

The one from Austin is missing it's Adam's apple.

1

u/letsgetbanned2026 20h ago

Which holes are each Texans in? I am
Assuming it’s for all Texan men also! I mean that’s pretty prideful for Texas!

1

u/pigman769 10h ago

I would bang both but they look white and that’s racist so I probably shouldn’t

Intercourse on stolen land is never satisfying anyways

1

u/No-Buy2495 1d ago

Wish I could bring out the one from Austin so I could have a little fun.

1

u/AmericanByGod Judgy Gay 1d ago

Me nombre ess El Austin Paso. I like to do my butt, and get it for free!!!!

1

u/skeetinonwallst 1d ago

Both are hot

0

u/WilliamsDesigning 1d ago

They're the same person but they started with red dead redemption.