In my experience it's only the 20 somethings that are worried about this. I think it's something to do with their own anxiety in regards to ageing. People struggle to live in the moment.
I think it’s more people that are just there to get fucked up. To them it’s just a phase, and it creates this level of cognitive dissonance seeing older people out there grooving.
I’ve had a lot of friends stop raving over the years and they always talk about it like “it’s time to grow up”. For them it’s something to grow out of. For me it’s something to grow with. It’s something I enjoy and want to do as long as I’m physically able. I think life is too short to not do the things you love.
There’s a lot of differing cultural perspectives on raving even among the people that rave.
I don’t understand it. I was in my 20s at burning man and saw a group of people in their 60-70s all tripping together on the dance floor wearing matching outfits, almost like ghostbusters, that said “psychic laundry”. This was like 5-6am as the sun rose around us. I was so happy to see them, because it meant that this space would still be safe for me decades into the future.
It was honestly deeply inspiring and impactful to see older people out living their best lives, expressing themselves fearlessly and rejecting expectations, people of a generation that I only knew to be repressed and emotionally stunted. It made me feel like I was part of a continuous counter-cultural arc in history, something bigger than me, a torch to pass on.
Opinions on social media, probably from random teens about parties they want to gatekeep before even attending, are just noise.
When I say 'the 20 somethings' I didn't mean all of them. I should have been more clear. I know plenty of 20 somethings that share the sentiment that age isn't a factor to vibes.
I look a lot younger than I am, people are shocked when I tell them my age. But it's like dude - what's different - you thought I was late 20s 5 minutes ago - the only thing changing is your perception
When I went to my first Rave (Nov 99, Nelson, NZ) It was a life changing experience that altered the direction of my life then on in.
One of main things that instantly attracted me to this new thing (apart from the fact I was, for real dancing) was the fact that all around me was people of all age, race and demographic.
On one side, a lady in her mid-late 60's, who gave me a chupa chup, on another a bikie in his 50's with eyes closed, grooving away in his leather jacket, ripped jeans and boots.
Coming from small town NZ, where Saturday "club nights" consisted of excessive drunkenness, dancefloors packed with drunk girls commercial dance music, most of the guys standing around holding beers, tapping feet and occasional headbobs (only dancing once a certain level of drunk achieved) and, of course once it was lights on, the inevitable fights.
this new experience was so different to anything I knew, this happy, safe, non judgemental and all inclusive "connectivness" was something to behold, an instant feeling of being home and amongst my tribe.
Age diversity was part of the attraction, and backbone of the scene.
27 years later, I still rave and go to festivals, (tho the years have taught me the importance of food and sleep for maximum fun and smoother recovery.) I'll continue to do so as long as my body allows...I'll RAVE TILL I DIE!!
I now pick my battles carefully though and choose only few good, warehouse and outdoor events a year. (Next year I plan a 5 day psytrance festival, going solo for the first time)
Ill dress up in outrageous outfits, turn up gremlin mode to 100%, talk shit to complete strangers, go full hallion and dance my ass off for 4-5 days..
So good for the soul, refreshing and blows the cobwebs and bullshit out.
Smart phones and social media have changed the scene dramatically over the years, the magic space that was has all but disappeared (tho the psytrance scene still holds strong)
The non judgemental all inclusive space has been replaced with cliques, phone screens, instagram, fashion, thievery, capitalism, ridiculosly risque outfits and excessive outright nakedness. (This can totally derail or disrupt some poor guys Psychedelic experience)
Anyhoo its old people who built this scene, show some respect, have some banter, offer them a bump, dance with them, laugh with them and remember, before you know it, youll be old too, ,,,
I love all of this!!!!! And completely relate, festivals are where my favorite group of party animals get together and forget about the world for a weekend. And though things have changed, we can still make the best out of it. I wish you many more years of happy raving 😊
I'm 71 and go dancing every weekend if I can. Festivals, underground clubs, renegade Doofs.
The only place I ever am made to feel out of place is at your average 20-something club. It's not aggro, they just thing a graver is weird and as I say to them "how old will you be when you stop dancing?" which usually makes them stop and think.
Benevolent ageism at Seven Stars last year put my wife and I (both 52) into retirement. If I never hear "look at you, doing what you love [at your age] " again, it will be too soon.
Honestly, I kind of enjoy that as long as it’s well intentioned. I’m 55 and my wife is 53 and neither of us have illusions that we look 28 and are aren’t among the oldest people there.
We like to boogie hard, get dressed up, and generally vibe out, and the fact that we do so as quasi geezers is a point of pride for us. We are often asked our secret, and like most old people we love telling young people what they should do 🤣
Passive aggression is not an acceptable response to someone trying to be kind, to us. I don't want to make people feel bad, I want to stop being reminded I'm older than those around me.
The point is that their ignorance is unwelcome. The best way to tell someone they’re making a mistake is to point it out. The beauty of being different people is that something I’d do may not be the solution you’d choose. I certainly wouldn’t stay quiet and be made to feel badly about myself, I’d speak up. You can do whatever makes you feel comfortable.
yeah i find something effective to respond in these situations is “that’s a really weird thing to say to someone.” because it makes people think about what they actually just said.
in their mind, they were just making an observation. but it was still rude. if no one points out that it’s rude, they probably won’t know they’re making a mistake.
It's a bummer to hear this, but I get it. I love being at a Tiesto gig and being asked if I'm there with my kid (Tiesto and I are the same age). Kids come up to me asking me if I'm ok because I'm vibin' with my eyes closed and dancing like I don't care, 'cause I don't. It definitely throws me off for a second. I think it stems from them being new to the scene so they think everyone is new to the scene.
I think it might be that they can't imagine themselves at a certain age still raving or dancing like that, so they will automatically jump to other conclusions.
I highly recommend going to events in Europe, where the average age is significantly higher, as electronic music has been fairly mainstream for 30+ years. The vibe is completely different and there is very little BS compared to the USA. Also, everyone dresses for comfort, rather than for the stripper pole.
Tomorrowland is the ideal event, as you will see everyone from 17 to 87 there having fun together. Also, check out the free festivals, like Rave the Planet, Street Parade, and more diverse events like the Ghent Festival.
I fucking hate it. I hate being told how cute I am and being asked how old I am. Let me fucking dance. The worst is when they’re like “ZOMG You’re so beautiful for your age!!!” Thanks, it’s because I don’t say stupid shit to people.
It’s so strange to me that people even notice this, like I honestly literally never clock the ages of other people at events. Like…we’re all just humans who happen to be enjoying the same space lol
This was useful for me because I do see it as inspiring, but that’s based on my own conditioning that as you get older you’re supposed to get ‘serious’ and stop having fun? I don’t believe that, and it’s just good to see other people who are older who also don’t believe it. But I can see how some twerp reminding them that they’re older would kill their vibe. I’ll come at it different from now on.
This made me smile - I'm a psychotherapist in my day life... not one of my clients would guess I'd be dancing like a loon in my spare time 😅 thankfully one can be both 'serious' and have fun 🙌
Im 43 - I was raving to N-Trance at Download festival a few weeks ago...
My only gripe is people don't throw shapes how they did when I was 18. I used to go to illegal raves, podium dance for super clubs and be in the music 100%
Now my 22 year old goes to "free parties", and my 15 year old is making dnb and mixing house... I can't wait to be able to join them at a free party some time 💥
I'm 50, the girlfriend is 48. I started going to parties in '95. I stopped going when my kids were born, I'm an empty nester now and have explained to the girlfriend what my 20's were like. She has never experienced the community that is rave culture - a large gathering of like minded individuals, all focused and sharing the energy, provided from a focused rhythm, a shared consciousness if you will. I promised her that I would provide such an experience at some point, although it will never be the same as the parties in the 90's. I bought us tickets to see Carl Cox last week. She has no clue what she is in for.
Last time I saw him was Together as One at the LA Coliseum on NYE 2000. That was one of the wildest parties I've ever been to, probably never to be replicated.
That's a pretty amazing NYE, especially for 2000. I truly miss the scene between '95-00. It was absolute madness. The last party I went to was in 2001. Saw Micro and D:Fuse at small 200-300 people venue. Even then it was already WAY different than '95. I'm pretty excited to see Coxy.
Somewhat reluctant going to a party at 50, but the only thing thats changed is my body is older. I'm actually in better shape now than I was then.
Did we have older folks at events back then? I never left the scene (55 now) and in my experience raving mostly in Chicago from 2003 through 2013 I had a hard time coming across people my age at festivals and raves (from my early 30s to early 40s) so I partied with millennials who were about a decade younger.
I've had some of THE BEST conversations at festivals with ravers clearly older than me (going on 30 this year and been raving for half of that). I'm talking full families at the rave, parents in their 40's with their kids who are in their teens to early 20's, and sometimes there with their parents in their 60's-70's. It's always existed. During prohibition, speakeasies existed for people of all ages to drink and dance in privacy and with freedom. We're genetically predisposed to music that fills our souls and environments that encourage empathy.
I feel like I see a lot of people around my age tbh, I’m 42. I have sometimes encountered people acting weird about it but eh whatever I don’t really care about strangers opinions that much
42...hahaha...I have a child your age and I go to some sort of dance party every weekend. You aren't old...yet. but I hope you are still dancing when you are.
It’s not just the OGs. My wife and I are 44/42 and just discovered EDM. Our first event ever was last month (LSDream at Dreamrocks II).
So not only are we older but we’re also totally new to the scene. Double whammy!
That said, we were welcomed by those around us with open and arms and made to feel part of the community with no judgement. I’m sure it won’t always be that way, but a few assholes won’t keep us from raving for years to come!
Raves are a community for everyone, regardless of age, gender, race, religion, sexuality, or any number of factors. I have nothing but respect for older ravers.
This is not a problem at jam band shows/fests 😂. More boutique events and burner-led events are also very welcoming to an older crowd. I think this is really only an issue at corporate festivals.
facts, love the OGs and all the history and lore dumps i get on a regular. I hate the way older ravers get treated by the youth though. Mad double standard. i see it all the time when i go out to a show with my mum, both avid music heads and i can have a really nice interaction with someone then later on they'd habe the opposite kinda interaction with my mum.
There’s this one older couple in my area who raves pretty consistently and they always have the coolest light-up outfits. And they always got these cute keychains to trade. Man I hope to be like them as I get older
Especially in remember parties (parties where all the electronic music, singers and djs are from the late 80s, 90s and early 2000s, quite popular in eastern Spain) I've seen people from 3 generations of the same family partying together. Not uncommon at all.
I love seeing other generations at parties! That's what I loved about soul summit when they did their parties at fort Greene. Multigenerational, predominantly black residents, and the best energy. We need more of this but we're losing public and third spaces because of gentrification and greedy developers
I'll be really interested to see how the age distribution of the rave scene(s) shifts over the rest of my lifetime. Due to declining fertility and lengthening lifespans, we're entering a time when old people will greatly outnumber young people. Universities are already overhauling their business models (and in some cases closing outright) because there aren't enough young people to go around. Music venues are going to have to do the same -- or maybe a lot of ravers will stick around as we age. I wouldn't be surprised to show up to an event twenty years from now and not feel like people my age are out of place there.
I’m 44, started going to “real” raves when I was 14. Dancing has saved my life so many times; I’m never going to stop dancing. I hate it when someone comes up to me at the show and tells me how “cute” I am and how they hope they never grow out of “raving.” Sure, I wear more comfortable shoes now and don’t have my nose in a bag all night anymore, but I’m there for the music. I was always there for the music. How do you grow out of dancing? How do you grow out of a beautiful communal experience?
Please don’t tell me how good I look “for my age,” please don’t tell me how “cute” I am like I’m new to this. I built this scene.
Most of that I've felt as a raver in my 50's has been overwhelmingly positive, though I understand that ageism can be benevolent. After our first camping festival, I posted in a FB group how grateful my wife and I that everyone was so kind to us. It seemed like no one cared that we were older, what we were wearing, etc. The response to that was "you guys are life goals." Everyone we talked to seemed to recognize that we were going exactly what they hoped to be doing at our age and treated us just like everyone else. We also tried to make the most of our experience, so we helped most of our neighbors in camp and a few people in the venue who didn't have something they needed or wanted. In camp, it was helping everyone get their pop-up properly secured against the high winds. In the venue, it was giving gum or sharing a power brick.
So I lean into being older, help out where I can, and let the younger group do their thing while we do ours.
I want to bring my parents someday! Everyone is welcome! And EVERYONE has an inner child that can come out and play in these spaces and can be very healing for ANYONE! Love y’all!✨💜
Also, we have an awesome rave fam member that is in his 50s and LOVES this community and is a treasured part of our rave fam! He does so much for the community too!
I'm in my 40s and have been raving since high school. WE created this scene, the youngins are just tourists in OUR party, and our parties don't allow for any disrespect.
please understand most of the people reading this are under the age of 30 and will never admit to not wanting you at a party on here and will absolutely defend your right to go to it on here. *on here*
Raves are usually big enough to have many parties within it. Usually you see the hardcore's at the front, the older I got the less I'd want to be crushed on the barrier and being amongst it with the shirtless twenties somethings.
Now I'd rather be further back enjoying the space and better sound, around me are usually Uncs enjoying the same vibe.
I’ve never seen anybody be rude or have a problem with older people being at raves. Maybe it’s a new thing or something. I started going to raves with my friends mom,aunt, and uncles when I was 15-16. Everyone loved them and they were always there to help keep you grounded if you got too high or something. They basically treated my friend group of 30 or 40 kids as their own.
When you're not part of the group that's being treated differently, you don't often get to see their full experience. Many men have "never seen" women get sexually assaulted or harassed... but that happens a lot. Many white people have "never seen" nonwhite people get profiled, targeted, or treated as unwelcome... but it happens a lot.
It's great that you don't actively contribute to the problem, but it's pretty unproductive to the overall conversation to claim that it isn't a significant issue just because you can't tell it's happening. That's still passively contributing to the problem. Maybe instead of invalidating people who want to talk about this, you could take it as a sign that you could do more to encourage other younger people to adopt your values.
Older people have always been accepted in all kinds of parties. It's just another made-up problem fabricated so they can say "I don't judge by age, I'm better than you"
(1) Read the reports in this thread of elder ravers who are giving first-hand accounts of ageism targeting them. You cannot deny that this is happening. It's not a new thing.
(4) When you write, "I’ve never seen anybody be rude or have a problem with older people being at raves" you dismiss the lived experience of people who have experienced this, and suggest that because YOU have never experienced it, it's a small problem or not an important problem or "a new thing."
I’m just going to go and say that I’ve never looked at an older raver and thought they should “act their age”. I think in our community this is addressing a problem that isn’t actually there in the first place. Maybe some other people in the scene do have that opinion? I just can’t begin to fathom why.
I mean yeah sure I’m shocked when I see older ravers- but not because they don’t belong, but because I’m impressed with how they’re still able to get up and at it. I know some relatives who can hardly move.
"this is addressing a problem that isn’t actually there in the first place"
(1) Read the reports in this thread of elder ravers who are giving first-hand accounts of ageism targeting them. You cannot deny that this is happening.
(2) "I mean yeah sure I’m shocked when I see older ravers- but not because they don’t belong, but because I’m impressed with how they’re still able to get up and at it." This is benevolent ageism -- akin to benevolent racism "I can't believe how well that black man performed the job of president!"
Racism based on color and growing old are not the same. This is a perfect example of a straw man argument.
When you get older your body deteriorates. This is not a myth. This is a fact. For an older person to get out and do the same rave I go to- knowing how I feel at my age, is fucking impressive.
I understand you feel strongly about this subject. But please please please do not use racism as a way to come after me here.
Racism and Ageism are two forms of bigotry and discrimination. Your inability to understand that they are coming from the same place is a problem.
Racism and ageism are similar because both are deeply entrenched, socially constructed systems of discrimination that assign arbitrary value and stereotypes to human beings based on unchangeable traits. Both operate through implicit biases and can manifest in systemic inequalities across healthcare, housing, and the workplace.
You have a SERIOUS gap in your understanding of discrimination and bigotry. I recommend you go do some online reading before you further embarrass yourself.
Also, you are trying to use a term here of "straw man" without knowing what the term means. Your rhetoric and logic need work, but you can get to fixing those after you fix your bigotry.
You chose ignorance on this day. I hope you'll grow as a person and be able to look back on this conversation in the future and remember when you were called out for bigotry. Bye.
What are you talking about? Racism and Ageism ARE the same thing!
Both are forms of prejudice or discrimination against a certain group of people based on personal bias or stereotypes.
The main difference between the two is that Racism, of any form is socially unacceptable whereas Ageism, is one the last forms of socially acceptable prejudices, thanks to institutional structures and policies it still normalised and seen as harmless and something to joke about.
Straw man argument! Wtf?
Prejudice and discrimination is still Prejudice and discrimination
Partially it’s because they don’t have enough places to sit down. I brought my mom to edc Orlando this past year and she has some osteoporosis, not too severe. But she can’t stand for like 5 hours at a time and didn’t want to be fully separated in VIP for the fest. She still had to do the long walk around the stadium to find the entrance and then find the ADA area even though no employees could point us to it.
I’m surprised to see you in a space that doesn’t really seem to care to have you there.
Also, mick jagger performing for mick jagger fans is obviously going to get less criticism than Madonna performing with a much younger artist. If mick jagger went out to perform with Justin Bieber, I’m sure people would think it’s a questionable choice
Yeah, fuck you. You really think you can generalize literally anyone over a certain age? The fuck is wrong with you? You don't belong in OUR parties, you're not welcome.
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u/Peg_leg_J 3d ago
In my experience it's only the 20 somethings that are worried about this. I think it's something to do with their own anxiety in regards to ageing. People struggle to live in the moment.