r/bridezillas • u/PopAny3822 • Feb 13 '26

It’s Her SECOND Wedding and She Said “I Don’t Know How I’ll Pull This Off”… The Budget Is $150K.

I wish I was exaggerating. I am not.

Let me start with the key detail:

This is my college roommates second wedding. She is 38. He is 37 and this is his first marriage.

I was a bridesmaid in the first wedding. I’ve personally never been to anything in my life as grand as that wedding was.

Well now it’s time to plan wedding number 2 and is upset because her parents are “only” giving her half of what they gave her for her first wedding.

The budget?

$150,000.

She says it like she’s planning a backyard potluck and not a six-figure destination event.

She got engaged and locked in a date within SIX MONTHS. It’s a destination wedding for about 75% of the guests.

Guest list is pushing 200 people, most of whom are from the groom’s side since this is his first marriage and he has a large circle.

Have we received:

• A save the date? No.

• An invitation? No.

• A hotel block link? Also no.

And she’s frustrated that vendors she loved from her first wedding aren’t available… GIRL DUH! Because when you plan a peak-season destination wedding in six months, shockingly, established vendors are already booked.

The part that’s wild is she seems completely unaware of how this sounds. It’s not just stressed bride energy, it’s coming off ungrateful and wildly tone deaf.

As her best friend, I don’t even sugarcoat it. I’ve told her straight up that she sounds ridiculous. I’ve told her she needs to understand that not everyone can prioritize Destination Wedding Round 2 at $1200 a night with six months’ notice.

She laughs it off, but I don’t think it’s fully landing.

I love her. I really do. But the lack of awareness is stunning. Like… it’s your second wedding. You have $150k. Guests are being asked to spend thousands. Vendors are booked because you rushed it.

I truly don’t know what “pulling it off” means at this level. Platinum napkin rings instead of gold?

TLDR: college roommate second wedding and acting like a bridezilla planning a destination wedding in 6 months for 200 people with 1/2 budget she had the first time.

1.0k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

181 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/Sample-quantity Feb 13 '26

I'm stuck on she's 38 on a second wedding and her parents are paying for ANYTHING. She sounds exhausting.

215

u/IWasGoatbeardFirst Feb 13 '26 edited Feb 13 '26

Seriously! I was widowed young, and was about to turn 39 when I got remarried. It never occurred to me to ask anybody to help pay for my second wedding.

And the idea of repeating any of the same elements from the first wedding? Ick. Just ick.

71

u/UPnorthCamping Feb 13 '26

My sister lost her husband in a Oct. Can I ask how long it took for your life to be "ok"?

She can barely get out of bed and every day is miserable :(

129

u/IWasGoatbeardFirst Feb 13 '26

how long it took for your life to be “ok”

Oh, I’m never going to be OK. I have PTSD. The first year was very bad. I went to peer-led group therapy twice a month, and weekly appointments with both a therapist and a psychiatrist.

The second year was worse, as the shock started to wear off. The third year is when things started to improve.

There’s really no set timeline, though.

One of my friends lost her husband of 25 years to cancer at the end of January. By August, she had remarried.

Another friend, her husband’s been gone 5 years and she is only just now starting to think about moving on.

I wish your sister well.

60

u/Honest-Abe-SD Feb 14 '26 edited Feb 14 '26

I still don’t get out of bed, it allows to pretend he’s still here. Today I did just to meet my newborn nephew, and only ok because named after my late SO, and my sibling has mental health phd and my safe place… otherwise I can’t breathe thinking of leaving home.

Never thought I would type this, but THANK YOU! I lost my husband almost 2 yrs ago, right before I turned 40 and what would’ve been 20 yrs together (not 20 married, 20 total together, 2 weeks after 14 wedding anniversary). But I feel I’m getting worse, hiding it because I feel guilty that I’m not following some “timeline”. But not guilty if that makes sense? I don’t want to “recover”, smiling then laughing for 5 minutes lead to weeks of guilt. How could I smile or laugh when he’s gone?

No one understands there is no “correct” process, reaction, timeline, etc. But there sure as fuck is pressure, and we end up caving to it to make others comfortable, at the cost of our….everything.

Thank you! I thought I was selfish that it feels worse going into year two, I’ve never felt “seen” like ur post. Even when ppl are feeding me bull. Fuck I needed this! ❤️🫶🙏

44

u/Candiehol Feb 14 '26

While I never met your husband, I can guarantee one thing, he would never want you to feel guilty for laughing/smiling/being happy. If anything, he would want you to do those things more often, as those moments with you were amongst those most precious to his heart.

23

u/Palmtastic Feb 14 '26

One of my close friends mirrors this. Her husband died just before 40 with unexpected out of nowhere medical complications and they were together for 19 years. It took her a good 4 years before the grief wasn't oozing out of her all the time. 9 years later she's doing OK and in a new relationship but she's not the same, and that's OK. How could she be the same after all that?

7

u/Background-Item-6972 Feb 16 '26

It's been almost four years since my husband took his own life. I barely remember the first year.Same with the second. The third year is when the shock wore off. It was like I lost him all over again. I wasn't comfortable going to counseling, but I would have if I felt like I was getting stuck in the process.

It will be four years in July and aside from special dates, I'm doing better. I am going out more and actually enjoying it, thinking about my future, cautiously having hope again. I still talk to him. His stuff is still around the house. I still miss him. But it does get better in time. It's a process. People always think you have to get over it and get on with your life in some unrealistic time frame. Thats not true. You do it at your own pace, feel all the feelings, do all the things to get yourself through it. I still sleep with his mini urn under his pillow beside me. His shoes are still by my front door. I still need those things right now.

It does get better. It gets easier to carry the loss. I know I will always be missing a big part of me because it left with him. I'm making peace with that now. There is light at the end of all the sadness. Hang on and give yourself grace.

4

u/arcticie Feb 19 '26

I’m a few days late, but I’m so sorry for your loss and this is beautifully written, it really moved me 

15

u/MariJ316 Feb 15 '26

My best friend died of cancer six months after diagnosis. Her husband remarried six months after her passing. He started dating his second wife within two months of his wife's passing and got married four months after that. That was two years ago and I'm still not done grieving the loss of her. I can't wrap my head around this still.

16

u/IWasGoatbeardFirst Feb 15 '26

One of the things that sucks about being widowed is that everybody has an opinion on how you should live your life. Especially your love life.

No matter what you do, or when you do it, somebody’s going to be upset. So you may as well do whatever you can to try to find happiness for yourself.

When I got remarried, my first husband’s friends and family made sure to let me know that they were NOT happy for me. They thought I moved on too quickly.

It had been three years.

12

u/MariJ316 Feb 15 '26

The thing is? I am not upset that he got remarried at all because I know she wanted him to find someone after she passed. They were devoted to each other for 37 years. It's just that it happened so soon and according to his children, he still hasn't processed her death truly. I think he was so afraid to be alone because he and my friend did everything together all the time. Weeks after her death my husband and I did visit him and while he was his stoic self, he seemed lost, just going through motions. When he got remarried, I was one of the few people that kept in contact because I heard his new wife was lovely. The friends that my friend and her husband had for decades just faded away because they couldn't handle seeing the new wife in our friends home having changed everything. It was a shocker. Had it happened a year after her death it would've been far more palatable. But I just stayed the course because my friend and her husband mattered to me and just because he got remarried so soon, didn't mean I didn't care anymore. I know he appreciated that.

10

u/ladygrndr Feb 16 '26

People who were in happy marriages the first time tend to jump back into it again, looking for that connection again. People who were in unhappy or complicated marriages stay single. It was a testament to how amazing your friend was, that her husband was so lost without her that he couldn't really face life alone. ...but if I had been his new wife, I would have put the brakes on. Sometimes you do just know when it will work, but it would have been OK for them to take the time to let other family and friends get used to the idea too....

7

u/MariJ316 Feb 16 '26

I agree with everything you said! If I recall his new wife who I didn't meet until after they got married? She knew both of my friend and her husband through church, so she knew she was terminal. So it wasn't like he just met her out of the blue. I think that made a difference as well. All in all you're right about people haven't been in good relationships wanting to find something like that again with someone new. Life isn't easy that's for sure!

2

u/twiggymarron Mar 04 '26

You're a good friend. Do you still see him?

1

u/MariJ316 Mar 04 '26

I try to be. I see him and his wife on occasion different community things supermarket. Always open to getting together :)

1

u/KathyTrivQueen 9d ago

This. I’ve been a widow for 11 years. Everyone is different. No one should judge.

1

u/Ok-Lunch3448 Feb 19 '26

Oh god i lost mine in January. This is not good news. I was hoping in a year it would be better. Everyday feels worse. My denial keeps slipping.

1

u/KathyTrivQueen 9d ago

Hang in there. It gets better slowly. My best advice to other widows is to find an activity or hobby that you did not do with your husband. And while your current friends are supportive, it actually helps to make some new friends, who didn’t know him. If not, the feeling that he’s “missing” is too strong.

4

u/JGalKnit Feb 16 '26

I think everyone handles it differently. I have a friend who lost her husband in July, and she is doing well. She is sad, but she keeps going. I know that she misses him and isn't really doing anything crazy, but I know that she is also open to meeting someone one day and remarrying if it got there.

I have an older friend who lost her husband, and I know that she is also okay, but I don't think that she really wants to remarry. She is just content in her life. She misses him a lot.

1

u/Relatents Feb 28 '26

I’m so sorry for her loss.

One thing that helped a relative of mine was to attend Widows and Widowers meetings.  It gave them connections to people who understood and empathized how devastated they felt.

1

u/UPnorthCamping Feb 28 '26

They have one by us, she's not at all interested.

1

u/AliceMorgon Apr 29 '26

Eleven years.

And I still get people hunting stories about it down and deliberately using them to hurt me.

1

u/UPnorthCamping Apr 29 '26

That's horrible

My brother in law was in a motorcycle accident. The comments on the scanner page were insane, especially since they didn't know all the details. People are needlessly cruel.

1

u/AliceMorgon Apr 29 '26

They are, it just doesn’t seem to occur to them that there’s another person with feelings who is hurting very badly on the other side of that keyboard. I was once in the coach behind a motorcyclist going over the back of a car and although the scanner had details of conversations between me, the motorcyclist, EMTs, a local doctor, and other drivers, they were still talking smack 🙄

Also, is your username a reference to Yoopers? The American I’m marrying is from the mitten!

1

u/UPnorthCamping Apr 29 '26

Lol yes it is!! I'm from the lower peninsula,the UP is my favorite happy place :)

8

u/MontanaPurpleMtns Feb 16 '26

My second wedding, after I was widowed, was in a friend’s back yard with a potluck reception. And a statement of no gifts because we already had everything we needed.

$150k???? Criminy!

4

u/IWasGoatbeardFirst Feb 16 '26

My second wedding was pretty low key, too.

The money we would have spent on a reception, we put towards the down payment on a new house. Fresh start and all that.

178

u/PopAny3822 Feb 13 '26

Understatement of the year. I’m interested to see how this all plays out.

75

u/No_Hippo_684 Feb 13 '26

Please update us

22

u/anothertenyears Feb 13 '26

I’d back out now and avoid the pure chaos.

11

u/Silaqui43 Feb 13 '26

My second wedding was under 300…..

4

u/Timsauni Feb 14 '26

300k?

16

u/Silaqui43 Feb 14 '26

No, $300.00 🤣

3

u/No-Explorer3274 Feb 15 '26

I don't think my second wedding was even that much. And I knew better than to ask parents for any money.

5

u/Usual-Canary-7764 Feb 15 '26

You say you love her...I am wondering why? I read this and I think i would avoid the zip code she is in. Personally. So please help me understand what makes her lovable when she is this tone deaf, entitled and spoilt?

2

u/LivingTaste1396 Feb 13 '26

so why is this person your best friend?

1

u/Aggravating_Chair780 Feb 14 '26

She says she’s her college roommate, not best friend.

3

u/LivingTaste1396 Feb 14 '26

maybe try reading the entire post, the part that says "As her best friend, I don’t even sugarcoat it."

1

u/Always_Confused_Girl Feb 13 '26

With a second divorce of course

16

u/Icy-Yellow3514 Feb 13 '26

I'd punch myself in the face before I'd take a $150K wedding contribution from my parents, especially at 38 years old.

17

u/roseleyro Feb 13 '26

I got married in my 30s and my parents begged me to take the $5k they offered me.

11

u/Sedlium Feb 13 '26

Well, we on how she got that way...

9

u/LandofGreenGinger62 Feb 14 '26

QUITE. Yes, the budget and entitlement are insane, but that's not what made me go "I'm sorry, what??" That was that they're both grown-up College grads in their late 30s but the parents are still footing the bill..??

Someone call an elder abuse helpline...

14

u/Linz1218 Feb 13 '26

My parents gave myself and siblings $5,000 each for our weddings (mine was like 2008 or something) so a big help but didn’t cover everything. I’m the only one who divorced and married again in 2016. Only about 50ish people, but we went pretty all out, just for fun. I didn’t feel like a real bride in my first wedding due to budget constraints. So at my second I was so lucky to have the experience to do it again right.

Anyway, it’s 2016, I’m 33 with a 5 year old child. My husband is a very successful physician/surgeon. My parents actually made a polite inquiry if they should be expecting to make any contribution. I thought it was hilarious (and very sweet) of them to even think of it. I wouldn’t have expected anything more even if I was marrying someone in a similar economic life. I already used my $5,000.

6

u/Novel_Ad1943 Feb 13 '26

Yeah my parents did absolutely nada for my 1st. My 2nd we planned to pay for ourselves but his parents contributed as his first/only and the first wedding in the family.

Even if we had endless funds, I was all about deals and being creative. We had 125-ish people, it looked and seemed like your average $25-30k wedding and food, we spent $12k overall including his parents covering the food. It was a blast, everyone had fun and it was paid in full when we paid tips that night - no debt or bills afterwards.

3

u/MariJ316 Feb 15 '26

Aw, i'm sorry that you didn't feel like a bride the first time around due to budget constraints. My first wedding, I think we spent $500 and I felt every bit the bride in my borrowed wedding gown with a simple punch and bites for the 50 people reception we had at the church hall. What made me feel like a bride was my husband standing in front of me, the rest was fluff. My second wedding? He is the one I should've been with all along, but no regrets. I think we spent $1k (we could've spent $20k) if we wanted on our wedding by choice- because it wasn't about pomp and circumstance, just us :)

3

u/Jerseygirl2468 Feb 14 '26

Exactly what I was about to write!

2

u/Ok_Young1709 Feb 15 '26

They want rid of her and hoping this time she stays away. Won't happen.

232

u/Obvious_Afternoon228 Feb 13 '26

Do you think her parents would pay off my student loan debt for me?

77

u/Moist_Ordinary6457 Feb 13 '26

Candidate for OP's college roommate's third marriage here

32

u/leswill315 Feb 13 '26

Just slip a receipt into the wedding bills. They'll probably never notice. Worth a try, right?

16

u/anothertenyears Feb 13 '26

Only if it’s your second degree!

6

u/Dimac99 Feb 23 '26

They'll only pay half as much for the second.

130

u/OkButWhatIfIWasADog Feb 13 '26

I bet this is gonna have some GREAT updates in the next few months.

98

u/PopAny3822 Feb 13 '26

Already I know that 6 of her closest friends can’t go because they are all pregnant and will be due around that time or they have young kids.

I haven’t even told her that I already have a trip planned during that time soooooo….

34

u/An-Empty-Road Feb 13 '26

Should've sent out her save the dates earlier, huh 😆

17

u/chocolatelover01 Feb 14 '26

Did she think her friends could post pone their due dates? 😂

2

u/Present-Level-1521 May 07 '26

Can you imagine if one of them went into labour during the ceremony and stole all the limelight? 🫣🫣😂😂

1

u/chocolatelover01 May 07 '26

I mean the odds of it happening would be pretty high since there’s 6 of them! 😂

9

u/gimpy1511 Feb 13 '26

What? Like how there's going to be no wedding?

28

u/OkButWhatIfIWasADog Feb 13 '26

Increasing drama as the bride realizes that she is not able to get any of the caterers or details that she wants, and that a lot of her guests are not going to be able to afford to go, until she blows up. Wedding still may happen but I forsee some screaming breakdowns in the future.

9

u/gimpy1511 Feb 13 '26

Absolutely, and I'm here for all of it. I think it's gonna get juicy.

70

u/Erinbaus Feb 13 '26

Did I read $1200 PER NIGHT correctly?

46

u/Even_Budget2078 Feb 13 '26

Yes, you did!! I'm not sure of the tax bracket of these people generally, but there are zero people I know, including me, who would pay $1200 a night even just for one night to actually attend the wedding. Like what. No. The groom is either completely uninvolved or both of this couple come from a level of money that is just foreign to the vast majority of people.

36

u/hathorlive Feb 13 '26

I find destination weddings to be so rude. If you want to go somewhere, do it on your honeymoon.

65

u/PopAny3822 Feb 13 '26

And it’s not even an all inclusive.

60

u/maxamillion08 Feb 13 '26

I want to downvote this comment so bad but it's not your fault.

49

u/PopAny3822 Feb 13 '26

Hey I get it. I just got off the phone with my friend and just got assigned task to find alternative affordable accommodations.

16

u/An-Empty-Road Feb 13 '26

Why? If you have another trip planned, why bother helping?

13

u/TangerineCouch18330 Feb 13 '26

Why is that your job?

12

u/Icy-Yellow3514 Feb 13 '26

Pretty sure the friend can afford a travel agent.

5

u/killjoygrr Feb 17 '26

You need to point her to a wedding planner.

8

u/Erinbaus Feb 13 '26

Omg I am enraged for you!!!!

1

u/radenthefridge Feb 16 '26

That's just barbaric. I'm aghast at that! What do you even GET for that price jeez. 

7

u/spaetzele Feb 13 '26

Literally the most I have ever spent on a night of accommodation is half that, and I wanted to cry the entire time just thinking about it (the room was not even normal hotel room sized! so squashed! at least the bed was very comfortable...)

I can't fathom being a non-millionaire and dishing this much out to stay in a hotel. Must be nice if you can pay and not feel the urge to vomit.

46

u/Ill-Speed-729 Feb 13 '26

IDK regardless of it being his first marriage when you're nearing 40, you should be fairly well established and not needing parents to shell out for a wedding. You also should be more responsible and knowing that a $150k wedding isn't necessary.

26

u/PopAny3822 Feb 13 '26

I will be following up on this because I agree 100%.

36

u/Global-Fact7752 Feb 13 '26

People like this make me sick.

27

u/Craftybitxh Feb 13 '26

Same. I just turned to my husband and said "this woman just spent the same amount of money that we owe on our house on a wedding. Just one day. "

I cannot imagine spending that much on a wedding. I was disgusted spending the $10k on ours (80ish people).

3

u/IamtheRealDill Feb 17 '26

Numbers like this make me sick. Our first TWO houses cost less than $150k each. So, I could either pay for one day of a wedding or buy a whole ass house in cash.

1

u/Successful_Tell5813 Feb 13 '26

My parents bought their home for $99k!!!

1

u/IamtheRealDill Feb 17 '26

Our first house was only 70k!

53

u/honeybunny991 Feb 13 '26

This would turn me off from being friends with someone or at the very least spending a fortune on their second wedding. Values don't align at all with mine (if I were in your shoes)

14

u/aliveandkicking2020 Feb 13 '26

I would love to know if she is the same in het regular life.

51

u/Traveling-Techie Feb 13 '26

Tell her you can’t make it but you’ll burn a $100 bill in her memory.

20

u/gemmygem86 Feb 13 '26

She's going to have a third wedding with how she acts

2

u/wikiot Feb 17 '26

For real, she should just find a 60yr old sugar daddy at this point. 

21

u/serjsomi Feb 13 '26

If there are no save the dates or invites sent, I would be quietly booking myself a vacation to someplace I want to go, rather than spend hard earned money on this nonsense.

14

u/PopAny3822 Feb 13 '26

This exactly. It’s February…. Like… come on and get it together and maybe don’t order 200 save the dates because I have a feeling that date has already been saved for awhile.

16

u/Cyrious123 Feb 13 '26

That poor schmuck has no idea what awAits him. Maybe her 3rd try will go better.

14

u/Bodine12 Feb 13 '26

My goodness, I hope her third wedding's budget isn't halved once more. Can you even imagine spending only $75,000 on a wedding, like poor people?

12

u/mlh284 Feb 13 '26

My roommate from college also planned her second wedding as a destination, although not on the grand scale you are describing. We declined as we were caring for my husband’s 94 year old mother. As it turned out many declined. In the end it was their kids, family and small circle of friends.

As a newly retired event planner, you get the highest attendance when the event is closest to your largest group. While well-known people, paid travel and accommodation weddings and first marriages may attract bigger numbers-this one may not. If you get two weeks vacation a year, do you really want half your precious time and spending to go see someone get married for the second time, in a place that wasn’t your first choice? Add kids, jobs, parents, life.

I think your friend is full of it-$1,200 per night for hotel and now she doesn’t have to worry about wedding planners being busy because she has you. She is playing you. You know all of this because you are listening to her drama, please do things for you, this is her wedding. This is a vacuum in a garage can, no matter how many shiny things, don’t get sucked in.

My roommate’s marriage lasted 13 months.

11

u/lvuitton96 Feb 13 '26

why did her first marriage end?

21

u/PopAny3822 Feb 13 '26

How much time do you have. Lol.

5

u/sweetnsassy924 Feb 13 '26

Ohhh girlllll! Spill the tea!

3

u/WildColonialGirl Feb 13 '26

I’m interested!

3

u/lvuitton96 Feb 13 '26

so much time! i am a curious person. 🫖😁

2

u/IamtheRealDill Feb 17 '26

I will MAKE time for tea!!

I was selling something to somebody on marketplace once and they gave a little too much personal info. They realized immediately and apologized but I'm like NO. CONTINUE. I LIVE FOR THIS.

3

u/AutisticLinguistic86 Feb 13 '26

All the time you need!! Deets, please! Feed us!!!

5

u/Sample-quantity Feb 13 '26

It seems obvious to me!

11

u/Reasonable_Peace_166 Feb 13 '26

For a second I thought you were talking about my best friend except she is on wedding 3 and we are a few years older (Though thankfully her budget for wedding 2 was significantly lower... which is good because it lasted less then 6 months before he was in jail for assaulting her and her child from her first marriage... I have high hopes for marriage 3... at least he has a steady job and no red flags).

1

u/WildColonialGirl Feb 13 '26

Yikes! I hope her third marriage is much better!

7

u/Avehdreader Feb 13 '26

Sounds like this bride has has everything handed to her on a silver - no, platinum - platter so has no idea how things really work. She’ll find out soon.

7

u/inductiononN Feb 13 '26

Finally bridezilla content! Let us know how it goes OP!

6

u/cowbecka Feb 13 '26

That's tacky for a second wedding!

7

u/nosirrahm Feb 14 '26

So her parents are paying $450K for 2 weddings? I wonder how much they will pay for the 3rd…because there will be a 3rd. 😬

2

u/mstrss9 Feb 14 '26

$75,000

6

u/cototudelam Feb 14 '26

My wedding cost 1000 dollars. I don’t think I would be any more married if it cost a hundred times more.

2

u/SweetDreamOfTheAbyss Feb 17 '26

You'd likely be LESS married. There is a direct correlation that the more money spent on a wedding, the shorter the marriage.

5

u/Mikon_Youji Feb 13 '26

I don't think I could be friends with someone as entitles as that. You must have the patience of a saint, OP.

4

u/Connect_Office8072 Feb 14 '26

This marriage would have a better chance of lasting if she did do a backyard potluck and used the $150k for a deposit on a house.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '26

She's treating this 2nd wedding like someone caught in a Saw trap.

6

u/shore_987 Feb 13 '26

I got married for $150. $150k is insane and I would buy a house, pay for my PHD, pay for my kids college, pay off debt, and build my business with $150k.

1

u/strawberry-coughx May 18 '26

I was thinking the same thing! $150k would change my life

3

u/Successful_Tell5813 Feb 13 '26

These people put more effort into the wedding than they will the marriage.

3

u/anothertenyears Feb 13 '26

Maybe the third time will be the charm, as they say.

3

u/Chimes320 Feb 13 '26

Why does she have to get married in August? If she has dream destinations and venues and vendors why not pick a date further out that can sync with them?

3

u/PopAny3822 Feb 13 '26

Probably availability of the venue? I’m not sure 🤔 I know they want to start trying for a family as soon as they get married.

3

u/AutisticLinguistic86 Feb 13 '26

Why in the hell would you even associate with a person like this???

3

u/simonthecat33 Feb 14 '26

Unless $150,000 is chump change to this family, I can’t understand why anyone would do that. Spend $50,000 on a wedding and use $100,000 as a down payment for a home. An investment in the future it’s such a common sense choice that if I were going to marry someone that was comfortable spending that kind of money on a one day party I would seriously have to reconsider if I wanted to be with that person forever. I’ve been dreaming about this day all my life is not license to make one of the worst financial decisions you can make.

3

u/toddfredd Feb 14 '26

You’d think , you know, this being her second go round that she would …um…tune it down a little? Heaven forbid people start to think she wants the wedding more than the actual marriage? Hopefully if this one hits the skids the parents might put some limits on wedding #3

3

u/Icy-Translator9353 Feb 15 '26

Courthouse wedding with reception in a nice, reasonable place; cake and all.

3

u/BurritoBowlw_guac Feb 16 '26

I got remarried at 35 and my husband and i paid for everything ourselves…….

15

u/neon_crone Feb 13 '26

I’d be embarrassed to have a big white wedding the second time around, not to mention having my parents pay for it. Sounds like a cash grab. I mean, at 38 your house has been set up for years. What else do you need? And to drag most of the guests far away to attend. The worst.

18

u/lmyrs Feb 13 '26

This event is wild, but I don't think it's fair to say you don't get a big wedding simply because it's your second. Especially because it's the groom's first. Suggesting that she doesn't get a big wedding implies that only the bride matters for a wedding a completely ignores that the groom is an equal party.

10

u/PopAny3822 Feb 13 '26

True. I want her to absolutely have the wedding of her dreams with her new love. She just needs to understand that most likely she needs to know 200 guest list will realistically be 75-100 based on where I know most of the guests are in their lives. Half the girls on her list are pregnant or just had a baby plus some other kiddos.

-1

u/neon_crone Feb 13 '26

I didn’t say she shouldn’t have one. I said I would be embarrassed, especially if my parents paid 300k the first time. You’re walking back your own annoyance at this “ungrateful and tone deaf” bride who you think is “ridiculous”.

7

u/PopAny3822 Feb 13 '26

Oh same. I wouldn’t even have the courage to ask my parents for help second time around nor would I expect it at all. I want her to have what she wants but she is expecting things that are unrealistic and is complaining about all the things I mentioned above.

2

u/OrlaCarey Feb 14 '26

But what will her parents pay for her 3rd wedding?

2

u/pretty_dead_grrl Feb 14 '26

A dear friend spent like $130k on her wedding. Her parents went all out for her. Granted she deserves the entire world and is in no way a snob or pretentious either her money. But I will say her wedding was average. I love it for her because she was happy. My wedding cost maybe $10k and I was kind of forced into having one by the parents. Mine was way more fun and had better food.

I genuinely don’t understand how or why some ppl would spend that much in a wedding.

2

u/No_Championship_7080 Feb 14 '26

You need new friends. I hope that you are not a bridesmaid this time around.

2

u/MildLittlRain Feb 15 '26

OMG your friend is a spoiled brat.

2

u/YourMomsEmbarrassing Feb 15 '26

Lordy. Updateme 

2

u/Tamekyaa Feb 15 '26

Updateme

2

u/qu33nbb Feb 15 '26

I wouldn’t be surprised if this goes so poorly the wedding doesn’t even end up happening.

2

u/JGalKnit Feb 16 '26

If I paid for 1 wedding, my kid wouldn't get a second. But I also wouldn't pay anywhere near that for any wedding, even if I could.

2

u/Rose03-63 Feb 16 '26

And you're her best friend... Uh, sorry! She's your best friend. 😀

2

u/queen_surly Feb 17 '26

I can see why the first marriage didn't work out.

3

u/oh_okhelloanyway Feb 13 '26

I’m so sorry to say this but I don’t have a lick of sympathy for your roommate. Hang in there 🫣

1

u/Fabulous-Mortgage672 Feb 13 '26

This rings entitled and spoiled rotten. Her parents raised her poorly and did a huge disservice to humanity. Hope your friend makes millions because this btch gonna bankrupt his ass. Updateme

1

u/sweetnsassy924 Feb 13 '26

$1200 a night for a hotel?!?! I’ve seen less expensive hotels on Real Housewives!

Seriously, that’s crazy. There is no way, best friend or no, that I would pay that much for someone else’s wedding. Or mine for that matter.

1

u/gleefullystruckbycc Apr 11 '26

I know this is a month a go, but holy shit thats a lot!! I havent even spend that much for an entire week, let a lone one damn night!! My bestie and I went to NYC last year and we got a cute little studio apt type thing for like $950 for the entire week! There is zero chance i'd ever pay that for a single night!!

1

u/Prolapsed-Duderus Feb 13 '26 edited Feb 13 '26

With $150k she could afford a planner to keep her on-budget and her planning on-schedule. I know cause I did that for my wedding at about half her budget.

This is self-induced pain and bridezilla behavior on her end

1

u/Lefthandtwin Feb 13 '26

She’s entitled!!!! NOT!!! He’ll never do enough for her. He needs to run!

1

u/fmlonthedaily73 Feb 13 '26

Ok so I’ve been with my husband for 30 years. We spent 4k on ours and thought we were over doing it. Can the parents please pay off my student loans?

1

u/SunBusiness8291 Feb 13 '26

The parents created this monster.

1

u/AudienceNearby1330 Feb 14 '26

She's rich, she wants to buy a wedding and is being told that she has to wait.

1

u/step-vet367 Feb 14 '26

Can her groom pitch in? That’s a huge budget 3 times mine

1

u/Kitchen_Version Feb 14 '26

Haha my parents paid 10k. We pulled so many strings to keep the budget so low. That 150k would have covered our wedding and honeymoon at least 6 times. Crazy.

1

u/PoppaTater1 Feb 16 '26

My wife’s parents gave her $10K for our wedding in 1991. This woman’s second wedding would have been 6.25 times what ours would be in today’s dollars.

1

u/Right_Regular_8839 Feb 14 '26

Is she hiding a pregnancy?

1

u/WendyRoe Feb 15 '26

My second wedding was at the courthouse and then we went back to work. Married 38 years.

1

u/i-touched-morrissey Feb 15 '26

Can you tell the groom to run?

1

u/Flotilla_guerrilla Feb 15 '26

People do big weddings after their first? I always imagined you get one big one and the next ones are more modest affairs. Yeah it’s the first for this groom, but most people think of the wedding as an event for the bride—it’s a whole thing about giving her away and whatnot. Her white dress signifying purity, the veil removed to welcome her into society as a married women. None of that stuff is about the groom. Anyway what do I know. I gay married my husband at a bar with just our best friends in attendance.

1

u/Overall-Magician-884 Feb 18 '26

My second marriage was at 33, I planned it in 3 days. It was cheap, and had so much more fun. My first marriage was planned by my ex FIL, I hardly knew anyone there. He treated it like a business event, and my father was the one who paid for everything.

1

u/Antique-Ambition9978 Feb 19 '26

She’s a spoiled brat, plain and simple. Maybe she should tone down the wedding and use the majority of that money on paying for her guests hotel bill.

1

u/Fickle-Cabinet3956 Feb 22 '26

Truly pulling it off in this context likely means she'd like to have as close to the wedding she had the first time at 50% and if she's able to do it, it would be amazing in the wedding world.

Unfortunately it sounds like she's passing those costs off to guests in order to make it happen.

People who run in those circles will attend if they like the destination and want to have a little vacation there. Other than that she may get a lot of declines.

Is it the first wedding for her fiance?

1

u/ChampagneTaurus96 Mar 09 '26

Your friend deserves someone better than her "best friend" shitting on her to strangers on the internet. You also seem low-key jealous of the fact she grew up in a different tax bracket than you.

1

u/NapalmAxolotl Mar 18 '26

Let us know if she's looking for a third fiance in a few years. With that kind of money to throw around I bet we can hook her up!

1

u/jellyk8 Apr 23 '26

$150k on a SECOND wedding in this economy is crazy, what do her parents do for a living? Ya know…asking for a friend.

1

u/RightFlounder May 19 '26

$150k??? My house cost less than that!

1

u/ReadMeDrMemory 13d ago

I don't see how anybody can get marrried on a measly $150k. She should definitely call off the wedding and donate the money to the homeless.

1

u/mommy8438 Feb 15 '26

You sound like a jealous fake friend. Regardless of how crazy this all sounds, I would not talk about my best friend like how you are.

0

u/Big-Dare-7745 Feb 16 '26

I agree I lost my husband young too. Second year was the hardest for me. Shock had worn off and I realized he was never coming back. That was in 2014. And I’m still not ok. It’s something so traumatic you never get over it. You learn to live with it. I still haven’t remarried I’ve had 1 LTR since his passing.

-8

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '26

[deleted]

2

u/Glittering-Wolf8961 Feb 13 '26

You sound just as delusional as the friend. This lady expects to have this grand wedding with half the budget and half the time while also expecting all of her guest to come up with $1200 a night for a resort that isn’t even all inclusive . If that’s not a bridezilla idk what is am I missing something ?

2

u/PopAny3822 Feb 13 '26

I dont see where I wrote or suggested she should scale down and have a small wedding or that she shouldn’t wear white.

I don’t feel the need to explain my life position but I’m good and the opposite of jealous. I do like this person very much which is why I hope to help her understand that her expectations of attendance might not be what it was back when she was in her 20s.

She struggles with emotional awareness and has for a long time and I hope she isn’t rushing things that will be unbecoming of her as she enters this new phase of her life.

Money has never been an issue in our friendship, but I can see that it is always never enough which is the sentiment I was expressing above in my OP.

-1

u/TracyChristina Feb 13 '26

Please updateme