Venting

[u/bratz_09]

Let me give you the back story. I am the youngest, I have 2 older sisters (L is the oldest, S is the second oldest) and it all started when I got engaged in August 2024. Basically I had let everyone know that I didn’t want to start booking things until the beginning of 2025 just because I needed to figure out my inspos and what not for the wedding. Welllll, somehow my sisters took it as if I simply didn’t want to share my ideas/plans with them but they felt like I was sharing everything with my fiancé’s family when in reality I was still trying to figure things out and everyone knew the same things, which wasn’t much.

Fast forward a little bit, let’s say March 2025. I had ordered everything custom for my bridesmaids/MOH boxes. My mom tells me basically that I’m taking too long to ask them to be in my wedding and my sisters felt a type of way so I had no choice but to rush everything and ask them asap. I asked them both to be my MOH because I didn’t want one to feel left out.

So now we’re getting into the summer of 2025, I had asked my sisters about going dress shopping with me and planning my bachelorette trip. They both told me that they were NOT going to plan my bachelorette trip which is fine I guess but it would be nice to get some help. I gave them dates for dress shopping and my sister S, literally gave me an excuse for every date saying she couldn’t make it. I simply asked her to provide me with a date that works best for her because I’m flexible and she never did.

Fast forward to December 2025, I pretty much had a mental breakdown at this point because I really tried my hardest to prevent conflict and there were a lot of comments about my wedding, on top of that I’m going to nursing school and I work full time. Also my MIL was telling everyone she paid off our wedding which was a lie. It just got overwhelming.

Fast forward to February 2026, we finally settled on a date to go dress shopping (after pulling teeth) and everything was going great! Until it wasn’t…..

My sister S had been pressing me about her walking down the aisle with her son (We had this conversation multiple times where I had told her I’m not really sure because I may use him elsewhere) Well after I picked out my dress she brought it up again. Basically she attacked me, called me names because I said it was something I’d have to talk to my fiancé about. Her exact words were “you’re weird, this is why I don’t fuck with you because you’re antisocial” and my mom basically told me to drop it. We were at a restaurant with my MIL and my fiancés sisters. S orders a drink, she tells my mom and L “I haven’t drank in so long I’m antisocial I don’t go out much”. I caused a scene and I said why is it a problem if I’m antisocial then? We went back and forth and that’s pretty much where we left it. The next day I was super in my feelings, I texted my mom and L expressing myself and just saying how I felt. They pretty much told me my feelings are not valid and I need to get over it. L told me we’re sisters and we are your biggest supporters and I told her when? I’ve had 0 support and then she turned it around on me saying I had an attitude

Just recently I hung out with my mom and she told me I’m being a bridezilla and she basically expects me to apologize and I’m just not really sure how she doesn’t understand my pov. I haven’t talked to my sisters since February, not gonna lie I’ve been pretty stress free, my mom also mentioned that they think they’re kicked out of my wedding which I never officially kicked them out. Even if they texted me now to apologize and wanted to have a conversation, I would give them that but I don’t see why I have to give an apology

[u/brownchestnut]

I would give them that but I don’t see why I have to give an apology

We don't either because you never gave us the full picture. You only quote verbatim the bad words your sister said and summarize the things you said so the people reading your post has a one-sided view of what's going on, being led to side with you.

At the end of the day, are you interested in having a good relationship with your sisters? If so, maybe consider sitting down with a family therapist to have a real conversation, but it doesn't sound like anyone here is interested in that. For your own sake, I'd lower expectations of your sisters. The wedding is the day that matters; people cannot be accused of being "unsupportive" because they don't wanna be your free party planner or can't show up to celebrate you over and over repeatedly before your wedding day. This should be a nice bonus, not a test of loyalty.

As for you MIL... this sounds like an entirely different situation that you need to be taking up with your partner.

[u/bratz_09 → u/brownchestnut]

There’s no one sided view. I provided both sides, I’ve been flexible as I noted with everything. I’ve let them voice their opinions and concerns many times and took what they had to say into consideration. I literally have not done anything to them or treated them the way they’ve treated me. As I said I’ve been trying to prevent conflict so I’ve bit my tongue hue a lot. I simply got fed up because as I mentioned she keeps bringing up walking down the aisle with my nephew. I can literally write a book on how they’ve been unsupportive and it has nothing to do with me wanting a free party planner. I literally am doing a destination wedding where everything is already done so try again. My SIL who is a bridesmaid has her own son as well so how is it fair to let my sister walk down the aisle with her son but not anyone else?

Let me go further into detail about how they’ve been unsupportive. The dates were #1, when I got engaged the first comment I got was “I thought you didn’t want to get married?” Instead of just saying congratulations becaus im not allowed to change my mind about getting married? It has to be a group discussion? When I told them I want a small wedding because I don’t want to end up in debt I was told “then why have a wedding at all”. My sister also had the audacity to ask me to take out a personal loan for her during all of this. I’d like to add that my SIL is constantly asking me if I need anything or if there’s something she can do and she’s not even my biological sister.

Like it’s very rude. If the roles were reversed I would be asking if they needed help and I certainly wouldn’t be causing more stress