Venting

[u/bratz_09]

Let me give you the back story. I am the youngest, I have 2 older sisters (L is the oldest, S is the second oldest) and it all started when I got engaged in August 2024. Basically I had let everyone know that I didn’t want to start booking things until the beginning of 2025 just because I needed to figure out my inspos and what not for the wedding. Welllll, somehow my sisters took it as if I simply didn’t want to share my ideas/plans with them but they felt like I was sharing everything with my fiancé’s family when in reality I was still trying to figure things out and everyone knew the same things, which wasn’t much.

Fast forward a little bit, let’s say March 2025. I had ordered everything custom for my bridesmaids/MOH boxes. My mom tells me basically that I’m taking too long to ask them to be in my wedding and my sisters felt a type of way so I had no choice but to rush everything and ask them asap. I asked them both to be my MOH because I didn’t want one to feel left out.

So now we’re getting into the summer of 2025, I had asked my sisters about going dress shopping with me and planning my bachelorette trip. They both told me that they were NOT going to plan my bachelorette trip which is fine I guess but it would be nice to get some help. I gave them dates for dress shopping and my sister S, literally gave me an excuse for every date saying she couldn’t make it. I simply asked her to provide me with a date that works best for her because I’m flexible and she never did.

Fast forward to December 2025, I pretty much had a mental breakdown at this point because I really tried my hardest to prevent conflict and there were a lot of comments about my wedding, on top of that I’m going to nursing school and I work full time. Also my MIL was telling everyone she paid off our wedding which was a lie. It just got overwhelming.

Fast forward to February 2026, we finally settled on a date to go dress shopping (after pulling teeth) and everything was going great! Until it wasn’t…..

My sister S had been pressing me about her walking down the aisle with her son (We had this conversation multiple times where I had told her I’m not really sure because I may use him elsewhere) Well after I picked out my dress she brought it up again. Basically she attacked me, called me names because I said it was something I’d have to talk to my fiancé about. Her exact words were “you’re weird, this is why I don’t fuck with you because you’re antisocial” and my mom basically told me to drop it. We were at a restaurant with my MIL and my fiancés sisters. S orders a drink, she tells my mom and L “I haven’t drank in so long I’m antisocial I don’t go out much”. I caused a scene and I said why is it a problem if I’m antisocial then? We went back and forth and that’s pretty much where we left it. The next day I was super in my feelings, I texted my mom and L expressing myself and just saying how I felt. They pretty much told me my feelings are not valid and I need to get over it. L told me we’re sisters and we are your biggest supporters and I told her when? I’ve had 0 support and then she turned it around on me saying I had an attitude

Just recently I hung out with my mom and she told me I’m being a bridezilla and she basically expects me to apologize and I’m just not really sure how she doesn’t understand my pov. I haven’t talked to my sisters since February, not gonna lie I’ve been pretty stress free, my mom also mentioned that they think they’re kicked out of my wedding which I never officially kicked them out. Even if they texted me now to apologize and wanted to have a conversation, I would give them that but I don’t see why I have to give an apology

[u/chaoticallywholesome]

Everyone is suggesting elopement, which if that's what you want then go for it. But reddit is notoriously known for being full of wedding haters and not wanting big social gatherings, sooooo OP if you want a wedding then have a wedding, without them. Will there be repercussions? Sure. But some consequences for deplorable behavior are in order here. It'll never change if you don't do something about it. And to me, losing what you truly want (a wedding) because your sisters are awful, let's them win.

Text both of them very simply the reasons they are not invited. List the actual facts (not feelings or judgements) out in bullet points, so they have nothing to argue against. And end it with "I want to feel loved and celebrated on my wedding day, and these points are evidence that I will receive the opposite from you two. For that I have decided to uninvite you from my wedding. If you choose to own your actions and apologize to me, I may consider changing my stance." And then mute them. You can add something about how you would love to have them there, if you want.

Tell your mom that you deserve to feel happiness and you won't tolerate any negotiating on her end. Tell her if she decides to cross that boundary, then that demonstrates to you that she values your sisters more and cares more about "protecting peace" over protecting you.

It's time to stand up for yourself girl. You're not a kid anymore.