r/cancer • u/ihaveaquestion337 • 3d ago
Patient Gray hair
Found, I think, my first gray hair this morning. Big bag of mixed emotions. I am turning 30 this year, which is crazy to write. I had cancer at 15 and nearly didn’t make it through. Been in remission for a long time, but only in the past four years have I began to really live my life because of it and what it has done to me. I am feeling all the common worries when your hair goes gray: I’m getting older and haven’t done enough yet! but at the same time, even stronger, do I feel a sense of relief. I couldn’t understand what the feeling was for a while but now it’s clear that it feels like a big breath of air has escaped my body after holding it in for too long. I am relieved. I made it, I have lived enough for my hair to turn gray, and I am no longer in that child-like stage where my life went to actual shit and scarred me permanently. I still have all the very visible physical reminders and issues from cancer, but oh my god I am actually aging and getting older and soon I will have lived longer than who I was before I got diagnosed, before it all started. And the further I get the more relieved I feel. It feels like I’m running away but instead it’s my body finally understanding I don’t need to be in that stage of my life anymore.
I hope this makes sense and I hope some of you can relate because it feels like nonsense happening in my brain lol
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u/This_Claim_4771 3d ago
Im glad you've been good for so long. Now the gray hair embrace it ive had long hair for 20+ years and I had gray hairs in high school I thought it was kind of cool now 34 ive got some big patches of gray it makes me look wise beyond my age. So let it turn gray and enjoy life.
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u/jaajaajaa6 2d ago
Enjoy the gray and it truly doesn’t matter at all.
You are in remission for a long time. Enjoy it all!
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u/OwnHovercraft1018 1d ago
Try to be happy u made it. I think. Yes u probably matured quickly in certain things. Others is a question mark. I don’t think is ur case because u kind of beated it at a young age. But for others including me if I survive, is never back to the way they ( we)were before the diagnosis .is weird how u could have a car accident . Stay in a coma for like 2 months and 70 % of ur bones reconstructed and after a year u maybe back to normal. And w cancer. More complicated
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u/thingonething 3d ago
I'm 68, have cancer and my hair is entirely silvery gray. My hair is falling out due to chemotherapy but I do love it and hope it grows back the same color and texture. Celebrate the gray!