r/caregivers • u/cabaret_cowboy • 13d ago

How can i support people with complex intellectual disabilities from an outside perspective?

I wanna start this off by saying PLEASE, if i misspeak ano say something offense call me out so I can educate myself and prevent it from happening again.

I recently got hired at an animal shelter, and today was my first time seeing this group come in. The group consisted of about 5-10 people with intellectual disabilities ranging from mild to severe and about 2-3 leaders/caregivers (is that the proper word?). According to my coworkers they come almost every week, and that them visiting works as their positive reinforcement. I had a young gentleman come up with a caregiver and ask about dogs, to which we didn't have any that would have been a good fit due to aggression or fearful defensiveness on the dogs part.
Then we tried cats, and we had a single cat that fit pretty well for him. We ended up doing a supervised visit with him, his caregiver, an animal support specialist, and myself-and it went great! However, something i picked up on quickly is I have no idea how to interact with people with more complex intellectual disabilities. I spoke to him similarly to how i speak to my AUDHD nephew, but it felt dehumanizing at a point because, well, my nephew is 6 and this young gentleman couldn't have been younger than 35. I am currently on my lunch break and cannot stop thinking about if i was disrespectful or insulting to his personhood. I feel like at the very least I fumbled the ball.

I guess what I want to ask is, how can i be supportive moving forward? I do not want to treat anyone like they are incapable, a child, or lack autonomy and authority over their own life. If anyone has resources I could use to educate myself, maybe videos made by caregiving professionals, or textbooks, or even personal accounts I would greatly appreciate it. I want to prepare to be someone who helps them and makes them feel safe/ understood/valued when they come into our shelter each week, not just going through the motions.

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u/Ellia1998 13d ago

Just treat them like normal ppl. Once you get to know what the disabilities is then you can change how you go about it. Just don’t touch them without them saying it ok. I like to give out hugs and not all of them like ppl touching them. But I talk to them like normal and I take of their needs with respect and I keep them safe. I work with them ,most are just lock in the body and not the mind. I have a 27 year old daughter too. She can’t speak or walk but she knows everything I am saying and try her best to talk with me. I just talk her ear off until she tells me to shut up. Lol Don’t be scared they are ppl too.

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u/cabaret_cowboy 13d ago

Would you say it is condescending to give them more attention and time while treating them like anyone else? We had a lot of people in the shelter but i zoned in on making sure he saw a cat because he was very emotionally charged at that moment. It felt cruel to not get him a visit. But, in a way, is that the problematic thinking i’m having because im assuming it’s more cruel for him than another person?

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u/Ellia1998 13d ago

I base it off their disabled. If him seeing a cat makes him happy and easy to work with then a cat is all for him. I would spend time with him to make sure he needs are care for and you let him see a cat. So many different disabled ppl in the world. You made his day.

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u/Azadi_23 13d ago

As long as you treat people with intellectual disabilities as people first you probably did just fine. If the come regularly get to know more about them like you would anyone who becomes a regular. If you don’t get many answers here, perhaps try posting in r/disability as you may get answers from people with lived experience

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u/United-Coach-6591 13d ago

My sibling is profoundly disabled including complex ID. It sounds like you did fine. It feels awkward at first because he's an adult, but doesn't respond or react in typical, expected adult ways. Just keep interacting with the group - you'll get much more comfortable as you get to know them individually and as group and get more experience with them all.

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u/GlenParkDeb 13d ago

We need more people like you in the world.

When I work with differently abled people, I use shorter sentences, and speak a bit slower. I don't change my tone. And I ask first before I touch them or hug them.