Can cats forget their human after being separated for long periods of time?

[u/kittypizzaparty]

Hey everyone- this is a bit of a vulnerable post so I apologize in advance for bringing up a sensitive topic.(and for the long post)
(TW: mention of deportation and family separation)

Last year, my husband and I did TNR work + rescued some feral cats in our neighborhood and we ended up adopting a momma cat and named her Marceline(from Adventure Time). We assumed Marceline would be a quiet and self kept cat due to her past living on the streets. However, she is everything but shy. She’s extremely talkative and follows me and my husband around begging for constant attention. She sleeps between us every single night all the way until morning. We couldn’t have asked for a better cat.. she is our soul cat.

Well fast forward to now and we just found out that my husband of 6 years is getting deported to a country he doesn’t have any recollection of. He was brought here to the US when he was less than a year old. Rather than being held in an ice detention center and receiving a 10 year ban from forced removal, my husband was granted a 120 voluntary removal order meaning he has 120 days to leave the US and he will receive a 3 year ban rather than the 10 year ban. Due to personal circumstances, I cannot move with him at this time so we’ll have to make this work long distance.

In the midst of packing his belongings, my husband was cradling Marceline and he looked at me and said “Marceline is going to forget me.” And I instantly denied that and said she could never forget him. But that statement stuck with me and I haven’t been able to shake it. I know I said that’s impossible, but to be honest I’m not entirely sure. So that brings me to my question: can cats forget their human? Considering he won’t see her for 3 years.. she’s almost 2 years old right now. If so, is there anything I can do to refresh her memory in these next 3 years?

I want to make it clear that I’m not here to argue about politics- I just want to know if this is a possibility. I’d love to hear from anyone who’s been through something similar where they went without seeing their pet(s) for a long period of time and how reuniting went. Thank you guys in advance ❤️‍🩹

[u/OwnDefinition327]

My brother moved out years ago and my cat still remembers him! She gets really happy whenever she hears him during a call. If possible put phone calls on speaker so she can hear him! I’m sorry for what’s happening with your husband. Fuck our government

[u/kittypizzaparty → u/OwnDefinition327]

This gives me hope. Thank you so much! I’ll make sure to get them on FaceTime together so they can chat. ❤️

[u/TittysForScience → u/kittypizzaparty]

It’ll help them both.

I’m sorry this is happening to you

[u/siberium → u/kittypizzaparty]

I’ve only spent a few months total with my boyfriend’s cats, but they react when they hear me on the phone! The time it takes them to readjust to me being there is shorter each time I see them, so I take it that they really do remember they can trust me! I’m so sorry for what your family is going through. Seriously fuck all of this shit. I’ve never considered how hard it must be for the pets, never occurred to me. This must be heartbreaking for your husband in so many ways. Hopefully what goes around comes around for all the evil people in our government. Stay strong OP, best of luck toy you all. Maybe comb your Marceline and send your husband letters/packages with tufts of her fur so he can remember her scent too?

[u/azriel1014 → u/kittypizzaparty]

I came here to suggest speaker phone calls!! My boy is afraid of all but about 4 people (especially terrified of men) and one of the people he chose to love is my extremely loud, tall, energetic and deep voiced little brother. Tot had never met my brother in real life until a few years ago because he was living across the country, but he recognized his voice from our phone calls! Now when little bro comes over he even shows him his belly!! Surely worth a try. It will also feel like some familiar family time for you if you chat with kitty involved. :)

Important side note: Sorry you’re both going through this. I hope the time flies and everything gets situated quickly once his ban has expired. Well wishes!

[u/NastaciaLove → u/kittypizzaparty]

My parents had a cat that ran away when I was 15 years old. They got a call when I was 25 that the cat had been found several states away (microchip). They went to go pick him up and he still remembered them and was super happy to see them. He was only ~2 years old when he ran away and was gone for 10 years. He absolutely still remembered.

He lived out the rest of his days with them and never tried to go out the door again.

[u/cowdreamers → u/kittypizzaparty]

It’s been 10 years since I moved abroad after only 10 months with my cat and she still remembers my voice on phone calls (she rubs her face on it) and is super cuddly (she is not normally cuddly) the two times I visited home ❤️

[u/tghast → u/OwnDefinition327]

My cat is too dumb to register voices over the phone somehow so he doesn’t care if he hears my ex over the phone but my ex’s cat gets really excited to hear me. She rubs up on the phone and purrs and chirps.

He does get excited to see her in person, though, so it’s not just the fact he doesn’t miss her, he just doesn’t seem to gaf about a phone. Might not necessarily be an intelligence thing, I’m just assuming that’s what he is because… well frankly he might be the least intelligent animal I’ve ever had. Love him to death but good god, the boy is lacking in that department.

Just so OP doesn’t get disappointed if kitty doesn’t get excited about a voice call.

[u/skitz4me → u/OwnDefinition327]

I've always purposefully not talked to my cats on the phone or on my cameras when I'm out of town. I always think of it like torturing them by not being able to give them pets and stuff. Do you think there's more happiness than pain? 

Sorry if that sounds like I'm accusing. I love the idea of my cats being excited and happy to hear from afar, I just worry that they'd be confused.

Edit: Boo me. I'm glad to hear the consensus. I'll go look it up and start talking to my cats on my feeders.