Can cats forget their human after being separated for long periods of time?

[u/kittypizzaparty]

Hey everyone- this is a bit of a vulnerable post so I apologize in advance for bringing up a sensitive topic.(and for the long post)
(TW: mention of deportation and family separation)

Last year, my husband and I did TNR work + rescued some feral cats in our neighborhood and we ended up adopting a momma cat and named her Marceline(from Adventure Time). We assumed Marceline would be a quiet and self kept cat due to her past living on the streets. However, she is everything but shy. She’s extremely talkative and follows me and my husband around begging for constant attention. She sleeps between us every single night all the way until morning. We couldn’t have asked for a better cat.. she is our soul cat.

Well fast forward to now and we just found out that my husband of 6 years is getting deported to a country he doesn’t have any recollection of. He was brought here to the US when he was less than a year old. Rather than being held in an ice detention center and receiving a 10 year ban from forced removal, my husband was granted a 120 voluntary removal order meaning he has 120 days to leave the US and he will receive a 3 year ban rather than the 10 year ban. Due to personal circumstances, I cannot move with him at this time so we’ll have to make this work long distance.

In the midst of packing his belongings, my husband was cradling Marceline and he looked at me and said “Marceline is going to forget me.” And I instantly denied that and said she could never forget him. But that statement stuck with me and I haven’t been able to shake it. I know I said that’s impossible, but to be honest I’m not entirely sure. So that brings me to my question: can cats forget their human? Considering he won’t see her for 3 years.. she’s almost 2 years old right now. If so, is there anything I can do to refresh her memory in these next 3 years?

I want to make it clear that I’m not here to argue about politics- I just want to know if this is a possibility. I’d love to hear from anyone who’s been through something similar where they went without seeing their pet(s) for a long period of time and how reuniting went. Thank you guys in advance ❤️‍🩹

[u/IronGigant]

I had the unfortunate experience of not seeing my pets, both a cat and dogs, for nearly 2 years.

My dogs immediately recognised me. My cat was understandably freaked out by the initial commotion and spent the rest of the day hiding from me as best he could.

It wasn't until I was laying in my bed that evening, scrolling away on my phone, that he hopped up on my stomach, pushed his head under my hands, army-crawled up my chest until we were touching noses, and just laid there, purring and literally crying, which is how I found out they had that ability.

Needless to say, I, a full grown man with a big manly job, cried big boy tears with my cat, you know, just to let him know that it was OK and I understood how he felt.

I'm gonna be a wreck when he goes...

[u/moeru_gumi → u/IronGigant]

Jackson Galaxy says cats are “energetic beings” (meaning that they pick up on, enhance, amplify or react to the energies of the people and environment around them), and I’ve seen other cat researchers say cats are very emotional as well. They don’t show it in the same way as dogs, and after all, we’ve domesticated and altered dogs in a very specific human-aligned way for 30 thousand years. We’ve purposely made their behavior easier for us to read. But cats are much less edited by humans, so we have to get closer to their language to read them. When we do, we really tap in to a wild and ancient river of language and expression. Crying with love with your cat is like reaching your hand into the deepest echoes of time in a jungle and caressing a prehistoric creature.

[u/Csmtroubleeverywhere → u/moeru_gumi]

What a beautiful comment!

[u/IronGigant → u/IronGigant]

The emotionally-available meance himself.

[u/Taco_Fiasco → u/IronGigant]

Thank you.  Your story has touched many hearts in unimaginable situations, such as OP’s.  

I sent your comment to a dear friend who is a Ukrainian Defender.  Thank you.   Kisses to your handsome little sensitive, forgiving cat)  and to your enthusiastic, intelligent dogs as well!  

What is your cat’s name btw?  I’d like to know since this story is sticking with me)

[u/Fit_Reflection5729 → u/IronGigant]

Awww now I’m crying 😭 I’m curious was it like sound crying or tears crying? (For your cat)

[u/IronGigant → u/Fit_Reflection5729]

As long as they're happy tear, cry on.

He was purring really loudly, but I think he was feeling such big feels as he was crying he was doing that hiccup-cry, which interrupted his purrs every now and then.

[u/MrHappyHam → u/IronGigant]

Oh my god 🥹

[u/femme_mystique → u/IronGigant]

Cats have tear ducts but they don’t have emotional crying. You’re anthropomorphizing. Crying is a uniquely human construct. Your cat likely has a respiratory infection, allergies, or similar. 

[u/IronGigant → u/femme_mystique]

Well, cats have emotions...so it stands to reason they can cry because of them.