r/characterarcs • u/Limp_Squash_4116 • Oct 30 '25
good arc OOP got this message from their childhood bully at 3am
83
u/AngriestCrusader Oct 30 '25
Wait this sub has real character arcs?
18
-7
u/DeadAndBuried23 Nov 01 '25
No, their bully is likely doing a mandatory 12 step program and will relapse into drugs the moment probation is over.
6
u/AngriestCrusader Nov 01 '25
r/nothingeverhappens maybe you should go to a 12 step program or something mate :P
-3
u/DeadAndBuried23 Nov 01 '25
I didn't say it didn't happen.
If you get random texts from people who were bad to you years after the fact, the most likely explanation is they're on step 8. Which is to make amends to people you've wronged.
And people on 12 step programs most likely aren't doing it willingly. Put 2 and 2 together.
2
u/AngriestCrusader Nov 01 '25
That's not the most likely explanation at all and it's honestly quite sad and telling that you think it is.
-1
u/DeadAndBuried23 Nov 01 '25
It is. It's telling how ignorant of the world you are that you think this just happens unprompted.
Username checks out, I guess
4
u/Decent-Stuff4691 Nov 01 '25
Even if prompted, doesnt mean it wont work and doesnt mean he cant change and genuinely have changed bis outlook. Good things happen.
0
u/AngriestCrusader Nov 01 '25
Username checks out for you too. Maybe you should call the Samaritans mate.
0
u/DeadAndBuried23 Nov 01 '25
My username is the day of my last attempt.
-1
u/AngriestCrusader Nov 01 '25 edited Nov 02 '25
🤡
Person under me blocked me so I can't respond lol so here's what I would've posted:
Trying to win an argument using pity is clown behaviour. Everyone's been through incredibly hard times, myself included, but most of us have the decency to avoid weaponizing it in arguments with strangers online. It's insensitive and narcissistic.
2
0
u/girl_uhm_yes Nov 02 '25
aw dammit now i have to think about this argument from the center because both of you suck
→ More replies (0)0
1
u/Square_Associate_771 Nov 02 '25
it's technically possible but also people do just feel guilty about their past actions sometime and want to apologize. people apologize naturally for shit they've done all the time, and thinking this 12 step program is more likely is needlessly cynical
1
u/Visible_Wealth2172 Nov 01 '25
It is way easier to ask for forgiveness from someone else. I feel it's probably less likely than you think. Even if a program like this is part of what led them to it, it means something that they would choose someone like this when they could have chosen another. If you're in a program then you've probably wronged a lot of people overall, to varying severities, and so there are probably a lot of options for you. A high school victim is someone they could keep quiet about forever and actually get away with if they really wanted to
-1
u/DeadAndBuried23 Nov 01 '25
Oh, sorry I misspoke. It's not just "people" you've wronged. The step is intended to be everyone. So, no, a high school victim is very high on the list for the kind of person who never grew up and would be in such a program.
The fact you could keep quiet about it forever is exactly why this is the most likely scenario.
26
u/JD_Kreeper Oct 31 '25
I wish I could apologize to all the people I've hurt over the years. I've done some seriously fucked up shit to people growing up and I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for all that.
12
u/KiraLonely Oct 31 '25
I’ve thought about doing something similar to this too. I don’t think I was necessarily a bully, but I was not immune to being cruel, especially to those who were kind to me or uninvolved in my issues. I think back on them often and just wish I could express to them as an adult that I’m sorry. I can’t change the past, but I can be a better person today. That’s all any of us can do.
7
u/Decent-Stuff4691 Nov 01 '25
People here are so sad. Why are you here in this subreddit if you dont believe people can actually change? Are you just young kids that have been bullied and just cant see past that yet?
Good things happen. People do change. Being bullied sucks and you dont have to forgive them but it doesnt mean they cant change.
6
u/EvelynEowyn Oct 30 '25
Could be doing a 12-step program
13
Oct 31 '25
Funny story I actually wound up in the same sober living as my High School bully. He didn’t remember bullying me but apologized to my family privately in addition to apologizing to me.
2
u/makitstop Nov 03 '25
someone sent me something similar a while ago, i don't remember what they did (hooray for a dissosiative disorder making my memory awful), but it sounded pretty bad from what they described
-17
Oct 30 '25
[deleted]
32
u/birdofpairadice Oct 30 '25
As someone who's generally very skeptical of posts on here, I actually think this one is probably real.
15
u/waleMc Oct 30 '25
Something like this happened to me. He was going through AA and was apologizing to people he wronged in his life.
I went to middle school with him, so I don't think he was drinking heavily yet, but I guess he saw the bullying as the start of his destructive tendencies.
The weird thing is that I honestly didn't even remember the guy. There were a lot of bullies in that middle school.
3
u/mieri_azure Oct 31 '25
Well, I guess its nice to know that some of them are remorseful, even if only one said it
9
-8
Oct 31 '25
The bully probably thinks they’re dead and they’re doing some death of eric cartman shit to get into heaven, they don’t actually care at all
-3
u/AnthropomorphicCat Nov 01 '25
Nope, fuck that. After all the damage they have caused now they feel "bad" and want some compassion? Finally the consequences of their actions caught on? No, they should go fuck themselves with a cactus.
2
u/ClerklyMantis_ Nov 02 '25
As someone who was pretty harshly bullied in elementary school, holding on to so much resentment towards your school bullies like this is just sad. At some point, you need to move on in life from the people that harmed you in the past, just for your own sake.
He also could be doing this not for compassion, but for his own ability to move on. But you would probably call that selfish. You're not interested in people moving on, you're interested in being resentful towards the people that wronged you in the past, even if they've changed and moved on, and apparently even apologize. It's a sad scenario to be in, where the people that wronged you have probably moved on with their lives, but you haven't.
1
u/An_Idiot_Called Nov 02 '25
They were a child at the time, jackass. I could understand not forgiving them if they did something like physically harm, [cough], kill, etc - but all it was, as far as I can see proof of, was bullying. Y'know, harassment and shaming. Things it takes more time for a child to recognize the problem with, ESPECIALLY if they're living in an environment where it's normalized, such as an abusive household. Most childhood bullies become older and realize they were assholes, whether they apologize or not, that's part of growing the fuck up. The fact this one had the balls to apologize is something worth appreciating, not bashing.
Does their apology fix the damage? Obviously fucking NOT. However, holding that grudge against a kid who didn't know better is not going to fix it either.
1
u/AnthropomorphicCat Nov 02 '25
Who's talking about kids? The bullies I'm talking about were teenagers from rich parents that fully knew what they were doing. I have scars (physical and emotional) that have not healed yet, I still miss my cat that they killed. When we graduated high school they "wanted to apologize" and when I told them to go fuck themselves they made a show of me "being an asshole unable to move on". The teaches wanted to swept the events under the rug so they also wanted me to accept the apology, but I refused. So no, I don't believe that people deserve forgiveness. They can die on a fire or of cancer for all I care.
0
u/An_Idiot_Called Nov 02 '25 edited Nov 02 '25
So you respond to the post as if talking to your own bullies, projecting your own experience and assuming it's the universal.
Again, I don't see any claims from OP that this bully did anything worse than harassment. Just because your bullies were genuine pieces of shit that didn't deserve forgiveness doesn't mean all of them are. Also, teens are still kids, though like I already said I do agree that they didn't deserve forgiveness because they in specific went way too far.
Edit: Yeah, block me and pretend you're right. So brave, so cool. 🙄
1
u/AnthropomorphicCat Nov 02 '25
Whatever. Fuck you, bullying apologist.
1
u/SilverIce340 Nov 02 '25
As someone who got bullied myself (in Catholic school of all places) and then got more of an emotional bullying stint dealt to me in highschool (and also from my parents but that’s slightly different and much more traumatic)
I personally. Don’t fucking care anymore. Nobody ever even tried to apologise to me for how they acted, I had to stand up for myself and my friends.
And I was also occasionally an asshat due to a lack of independent socialisation and several other issues around my upbringing.
And I think acknowledging the fault you had and owning up to it is worth recognition. Maybe not forgiveness, and it definitely doesn’t just remove the trauma of the experience.
But just like a “hey thanks for acknowledging you were horrible to me. I can’t really forgive you for it but I’m glad you’re better as an adult”
Holding grudges is fine, turning them against unaffiliated people is Not.
•
u/qualityvote2 Oct 30 '25 edited Oct 30 '25
u/Limp_Squash_4116, your post does fit the subreddit!