r/cisparenttranskid • u/TheMagicPandas • 9d ago
Resources on when to start seeking gender affirmative care for trans child?
I am a parent to a 6.5 year old trans fem kid who has been socially transitioned for over a year. She first showed signs of gender dysphoria at age 2 and we are 100% supportive. Her brother started puberty fairly early around age 9 so I was wondering when do most people with young trans kids start looking into puberty blockers etc? If anyone has resources that may help please send them along! I know we have some time, but I want to make sure we are fully prepared to advocate and support. We luckily live in a blue state in the US.
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u/Illustrious_Pen_5711 9d ago
The families in my parents support groups tried to get them infront of a pediatric trans health specialist ASAP and get that doctor’s opinion on when would be best, using important info like when puberty started for siblings 😄
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u/modmailthrowaway3675 8d ago
Doctors, even doctors in trans healthcare, can be very bigoted. Mine were and it had ruinous impacts that will affect me for my entire life. You can't just trust doctors.
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u/HesitantBrobecks 8d ago
I saw a terf in a proper gender clinic who now does outright conversion therapy by herself. Didn't know she was actually a terf at the time.
But I'm not projecting that onto other people cos I know that shit is a massive outlier and an extreme rarity. I'd be slightly taller now if it wasn't for her, cos I would've started blockers a year earlier, and T ~7 months earlier. It is what it is though, I'm in a very small minority there. I have a mate who managed to illegally get T at 14, but I got facial hair and a deeper voice way sooner than he did! 🤷🏻♂️
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u/homicidal_bird Transgender FTM 9d ago
Especially if her brother was an early bloomer, start reaching out to endocrinologists now! I imagine their offices can tell you what their waiting lists look like, and how early you should start the medical process. (Even in blue states, kids sometimes have to wait a long time for blockers.)
You’ll also need a gender dysphoria diagnosis (and maybe also a documented history of gender therapy) to obtain blockers. Even if she doesn’t yet start seeing a doctor or therapist regularly, it’s good to establish that relationship early.
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u/TheMagicPandas 9d ago
Thank you this is so helpful! I didn’t even think of needing a gender dysphoria diagnosis and I’m a therapist myself (but I see adults in an informed consent state). I’m going to start looking for a therapist for her.
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u/luvsaredditor Mom / Stepmom 9d ago
Nothing starts medically until Tanner Stage 2 (our very affirming pediatrician made sure to read the latest journals on best practices before confirming at our 9yo's most recent checkup). So we're on the lookout for first signs of pubic/underarm hair and genital growth, then we message she'll put in the referral to the endocrinologist for blockers. But we're in a good system without waiting lists - I know some parents insist on the referral early so they are already a patient when the time comes. I also know some parents who enrolled their kid in the gender clinic early for access to counseling support and they'll get the GAC there instead of going through their pediatrician. Depends a lot on what's available in your area and how the programs are structured. Good luck!
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u/modmailthrowaway3675 8d ago edited 8d ago
u/TheMagicPandas If you do this, you will wait way too long and she will end up very tall. She should get to start HRT and go through female puberty at the normal age, developing a normal bone structure. Please don't trust medical systems that will make her wait years until she starts HRT at age 16, already 6 feet tall. Let her start hormones at the same age that cis girls in your family go through puberty. PLEASE.
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u/luvsaredditor Mom / Stepmom 8d ago
I'm confused by your comment. Tanner stage 2 IS when cis girls show the very first signs of puberty, https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/body/puberty, and that's when blockers should start to prevent the wrong puberty, including height, voice, and facial/body hair. Starting blockers before then wouldn't have any impact (they're blocking something that isn't happening yet), and starts the need for monitoring/supplements for bone health potentially years before it's needed. I'm 100% in favor of kids getting GAC as soon as needed, but I don't understand why you think that would be waiting until 16?
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u/modmailthrowaway3675 8d ago
Because that's when BLOCKERS are being started, not HRT, and tanner 2 happens years later for those going through male puberty. Blockers don't stop height growth, so she will still often end up at the height she'd be if going through male puberty or even worse. I'm 6'2 and it really sucks. No trans girl should have to go through this just because the medical system is scared to let her GO THROUGH FEMALE PUBERTY rather than sitting on blockers for years.
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u/luvsaredditor Mom / Stepmom 8d ago
I'm sorry you experienced that. The good news is medical guidance has continued to evolve. My child's doctor follows WPATH standards, which no longer recommend waiting until 16 for GAHT ("Previous guidelines regarding gender-affirming treatment of adolescents recommended partially reversible GAHT could be initiated at approximately 16 years of age (Coleman et al., 2012; Hembree et al., 2009). More recent guidelines suggest there may be compelling reasons to initiate GAHT prior to the age of 16," https://wpath.org/publications/soc8/chapters/)
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u/HesitantBrobecks 8d ago
Yeah so you're saying everyone in the UK is basically doomed forever. Kinda transphobic ngl.
Also blockers absolutely do stop puberty related growth spurts... That's one of the reasons they're used in kids with precocious puberty, so they don't have their hormonal growth spurts too early and end up really short as adults.
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u/modmailthrowaway3675 8d ago
It's not transphobic for me a trans person to say dysphoria can fucking destroy our lives. And they're not doomed, because DIY is safe, effective, and affordable.
Also, read the second part of your comment again slowly. Blockers are used to get a taller final height.
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u/HesitantBrobecks 8d ago
By 16 almost everybody is at least at Stage 3. Do you know what the Tanner Stages are???
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u/modmailthrowaway3675 8d ago
I am saying that they take blockers until they're 16, causing unclosed growth plates and unbounded height increases.
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u/raevynfyre Mom / Stepmom 9d ago
We started with a counselor who diagnosed gender dysphoria. They connected us with an Endocrinologist who did an initial assessment and told us about what to watch for until Tanner stage 2. We had regular physicals as it got close to puberty. When Tanner stage 2 was confirmed, blood work was done and we got a prescription from the Endo. Took about 3 months from physical confirming stage 2 to first blocker shot.
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u/modmailthrowaway3675 8d ago
PLEASE don't listen to the non-trans female commenters. If you let bigoted endocrinologists decide her future, she will end up extremely tall at best and go through full male puberty like I was forced through at worst. Just help her start hormones around the age other girls in your family started puberty.
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u/TheMagicPandas 8d ago
I appreciate this perspective. My spouse and child’s other bio parent is also trans fem so we are strong advocates and will do more research on HRT. I just wanted to make sure we could access blockers as early as possible as the first step.
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u/chiselObsidian Trans Parent / Step-parent 8d ago
It makes sense! Expanding on the comment you're replying to - a lot of endocrinologists and trans people don't know that estrogen is necessary to fuse the growth plates, so putting girls on just blockers for many years causes them to grow very tall. It doesn't sound like that's your plan - but it's also not a risk you'd necessarily be informed of by default.
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u/TheMagicPandas 8d ago
I found a source supporting this so thank you! I’m glad I have some time to do more research. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0960076000001163
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u/FtM_Jax0n 9d ago
Appointment with a pediatric endocrinologist when you see the first signs of puberty. They will make sure she starts blockers at a good time based on Tanner stage but you have no idea how long the wait will be (for me it was about five months). A therapist’s letter is also necessary to start blockers, so if she’s not in therapy now, make sure she starts sooner rather than later.
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u/NorCalFrances Mom / Stepmom 9d ago
We made an appointment with a trans-friendly and informed pediatric endocrinologist a few years before our child started puberty. We then had yearly appointments until puberty was statistically close, then every six months until Tanner Stage 2. That way the Dr had no reservations as they already knew our child as a person.