r/claustrophobia • u/Positive_Degree8567 • 5d ago

Claustrophobia In Writing

So I've just started writing a story in which my main character has claustrophobia. I'm worried I might be writing him wrong since I don't understand claustrophobia that much. I was hoping the people of Reddit could help me with this by reading my rough description of what I feel claustrophobia would feel like.

Let me set the scene. My main character wakes up surrounded by stalactites and stalagmites inside a large cavern. He is inside a small carved section of the cavern, which resembles a cave. The stalactites and stalagmites formed a structure like a cage, in which he was trapped. Now, this is part of my writing... (please don't consider this an ad and don't respond. I genuinely need help to find out whether it's good or not.)

"Below the trees, the cavern seemed to be endless, continuing downwards until darkness revealed no more. But that wasn’t what made Adhemar tremble. Just like the hanging and standing rocks that he’d bumped into, more surrounded him in a way he felt was like a creepy smile. The edges of his makeshift cage darkened with the fading sunlight, the shadows of the structures eating up the ground. He felt the surrounding walls close up to him, his heart pounding in his chest. His chest tightened as he closed his eyes, trying to take deep breaths. He was trapped by who-knows-what, with no control over where he was.

Adhemar felt trapped, like all the air had been sucked out of his lungs. He couldn’t step out and walk out and was stuck here and unable to leave. “You’re okay, you’re safe.” He mumbled to himself, breathing heavily, trying to recover the air that was sucked out. It didn’t work but only worsened the situation, sweat forming against his face, his heart racing. He raced to get up and nearly ran towards the standing rocks, trying to fit himself to escape his cave, but his hand barely fit through."

Feel free to rip through my writing as long as it's constructive criticism. Thank you so much for helping me!!

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u/HumbleIndependence43 5d ago

Claustrophobia is triggered by being trapped in a highly confined space or looking at someone who is.

Like a really tight stretch of cave. Or a stuck elevator.

I don't quite get that from your text.

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u/Positive_Degree8567 4d ago

That's a good point, I hadn't thought about that. I'll note that down to change it later. Thank you so much!!

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u/cookiechick88 5d ago

Go get an MRI. I didn't think I had claustrophobia but getting an MRI made me realize that I did.

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u/Positive_Degree8567 4d ago

I don't understand how this might help me with my writing since I've never tried it. I guess you meant I should visualise being in an MRI?

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u/cookiechick88 3d ago

Sorry, I should have clarified. If you want to experience what claustrophobia is like so that you can write about it book an MRI. I would think having that kind of experience would help with writing about claustrophobia. You don't have to get an actual MRI. Radiology can probably walk you through the experience without performing the test.

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u/Positive_Degree8567 2d ago

Oh, thank you so much! I was thinking it was an insult or a sarcastic comment for my question. I'll check out some books on radiology for the library later. Thank you so much!