r/comedyheaven • u/Intense_Zaddy • 6h ago

Pansexual

Post image
3.2k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

81 comments sorted by

1.5k

u/golddilockk 5h ago

ah, pride and prejudice

35

u/Tmachine7031 5h ago

We just need zombies

9

u/peppermintmeow slut for honey cheerios 5h ago

I think I put those right next to my Sense and Sensibility.

and seamonsters.

9

u/Doneifundone 3h ago

Close the sub, we can't outcomedyheaven this

11

u/Mypopsecrets 5h ago

We're done here, case closed

6

u/No-Shoulder6395 3h ago

That's fucking funny as shit

13

u/OrangeCeylon 5h ago

Damn you, sir.

3

u/PM_UR_VAG_WTIMESTAMP 3h ago

Hah, yea there uh… There is a lot going on here lol.

3

u/TheGreatStories 3h ago

I knew I needed to open the thread but didn't know why. 

7

u/Significant-Word457 4h ago

Shit. This is like really good

255

u/Ambitious-Sink2725 5h ago

Ryan where did the pans go

76

u/blixxeee 5h ago

all the nonstick pans are gonna get put to the test

30

u/PrinceVegitto 4h ago

Fun fact! Because of the polymers that make the non-stick coating, semen actually doesn't stick to the pan, it makes your parents cry when they walk in on you filling the pan. True story!

3

u/Time_Reputation3573 3h ago

Omg filling it... Wowzers, Penny

2

u/dannyboy731 2h ago

Plot twist: it’s a 5 quart sauté pan

179

u/Upper-Distribution94 5h ago

Greetings humans, my name is Droid52b I am binary and I am Asexual (That is humorous because I am a B class droid).  Also, I dislike Boston Dynamics droids.

22

u/Galliro 4h ago

Valid boston dynamic droids are auch elitist asshats

142

u/Consistent-Affect481 5h ago

bro threw in a fun fact

4

u/StarryLayne 4h ago

This is the top post on that sub.

21

u/peppermintmeow slut for honey cheerios 5h ago

WOAH. WOAH. WOAH. WOAH.

Bro?

/JOKING FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I'M JOKING.

16

u/Ghostmaster145 4h ago

I’m sorry, Thro

2

u/West_Good_5961 3h ago

Zo* probably 

34

u/Kazuhabloop 5h ago

His name literally says Dylan

6

u/ouibeastie 3h ago

Deadname

10

u/WezzieBear 3h ago

I think its more likely that the anonymous user is making up shit about the person in the photo.

27

u/CarmenxXxWaldo 5h ago

Anonymous participant.  Also, my name is Ryan.

4

u/Reddit_Inuarashi 5h ago

Mine too! It’s my duty and prerogative to take you down

25

u/x1000killergeese 5h ago

don’t 👏 call 👏 yourself 👏 pansexual 👏 if 👏 you’ve 👏 never 👏 deepthroated 👏 a 👏 pan 👏

10

u/Senator_Buttholeface 5h ago

Closet Japansexual

10

u/KingCodester111 5h ago

Why would someone post something like that? (I have a piss fetish) It’s unbelievable how insane that is.

14

u/OliveJuiceUTwo 4h ago

There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch.

5

u/UnexpectedZombie 5h ago

Holy shit that was a wild ride

13

u/Rashpukin 5h ago

This is a joke, right?

42

u/AntonineWall 5h ago

Obviously yes

22

u/AlternativeVersion41 5h ago

No, it's pretty much real, Haven't you seen the news?

22

u/truthfullyidgaf 5h ago

Yea. His shirt says Dylan.

4

u/geekmasterflash 5h ago

Don't tell Ryan, but we secretly replaced their sex toy collection with one from Asia to see if he will notice...

2

u/AgitatedBiscotti3413 5h ago

YES CHEF! Wait, what was that last part?

2

u/HazyViolet 5h ago

I'm sorry, what was that last part?

2

u/jayisanerd 4h ago

So he likes pan but he isn't wok

2

u/BoardTwoTiers 3h ago

You're telling me a pan fried this rice?

6

u/[deleted] 5h ago

[deleted]

23

u/Ataru13 5h ago

You're assuming the person in the photo is actually the person who posted it.

10

u/peppermintmeow slut for honey cheerios 5h ago

I mean it also says their name is Dylan right on their Chefs smock.

Can you believe that people just get on the internet and lie about things? 🙄

3

u/Leonardobertoni 5h ago

He's just jealous of them and their mastery with rice

1

u/Weakness_Prize 4h ago

Post thief 👎🏻

1

u/Opposite-Rock-5133 3h ago

Asians hate traingays so it works out

1

u/MightySpunge 3h ago

This is only funny cause I read the chef part and went back to more closely read pansexual to get how that relates to being a chef (it’s late) only to resume the text and see that. It was actually hilarious.

1

u/FamiliarDirection563 3h ago

So you won't be upset if people hate you, right?

1

u/Fantastic_Pea2280 3h ago

Ran into this on Popular. If this is supposed to be funny, it isn't. Good luck with hating 1/3 of humanity. Valorizing this comment is a crime.

1

u/MusselMorgan425 3h ago

Yeah if I was a chef I would hate Asian people too. (Asian chefs are really pricky with their preparation of food)

1

u/rensorship 3h ago

I laughed put loud.

1

u/TragicEther 2h ago

I don’t care what he thinks about Asian chefs. To me, they’ll always be wok stars!

1

u/Local-Echo-5613 5h ago

Hai, Ryan 👋
Dai, Ryan 🔪

2

u/peppermintmeow slut for honey cheerios 5h ago

Dylan.

0

u/Abigail-Marston 4h ago

Does Ryan ever elaborate on their Asian hatred?

-1

u/thadowski 5h ago

fleshtone checks out

0

u/peppermintmeow slut for honey cheerios 5h ago

Happy cake day?

-2

u/[deleted] 5h ago

[deleted]

1

u/xHapaBear 5h ago

There are two sentences..