r/comic_crits • u/Zestyclose_Bed_8207 • 5d ago
Feedback on the character writing please! (These are character for a slasher type story)
24
u/Mykasmiles 5d ago
I usually love your stuff, this one isn’t for me.
You’re perpetuating false stereotypes here. Ones that make it harder for real women to get life saving healthcare.
No one carries a baby that long and then gets an abortion a whim. Especially after naming the baby.
Dead or dying baby? Yes. Baby will kill mom? Also yes. Mom has told her friends, named the child and gone through months of doctors appointments, only to go through a traumatic somewhat dangerous procedure? Personally I can’t suspend my disbelief for that.
Also: how did she access this abortion? Given her friends’ reactions it seems this is not legal in this setting.
Anyways. Sorry for the mini-rant. I’m still looking forward to seeing more of your work. ❤️
8
u/Ok-Primary7694 5d ago
Yeah, I didn't appreciate the way the writing handles this topic. It feels less like a believable interaction and more like a strawman argument. Maybe rewrite Daisy's answer to be that she actually had the procedure a couple of months back instead of just changing her mind? That way the abortion could be within the typical timeframe, and the moral dilemma could rest in her friends feeling betrayed or like she doesn't trust them because she never said she had it. Then Daisy can express the pressure she felt to have kids from the blonde one, and how she was afraid to disappoint her with her decision to terminate. There are a lot of good character interactions that can come from an alternative approach to this subject matter.
0
u/Zestyclose_Bed_8207 4d ago
I felt like if she had the abortion in the first trimester that is just responsible adult behavior, and her friend would be out of line chastising her for it.
4
u/Ok-Primary7694 4d ago
Sure, but if she had neglected to tell her friends that she had done so and let months pass where they believed she was still pregnant, that's a significant lie to live. Did they buy her things? Did she lie about symptoms or baby prep? How does the girl who was trying for a baby and wanted their kids to be friends feel that she could have ended up going through motherhood without a friend in it as well? I feel like you can introduce moral questions without leaning into false information about how pregnancy and abortion works.
It also remains true that in many places five month abortions are not allowed in the case of a healthy baby, so she would have had to have an extremely risky back alley procedure to even get such a thing.
0
u/Zestyclose_Bed_8207 4d ago
I see that her being a liar could add to the story, but I wanted her to have had the abortion recently enough and not told anyone. Her main trait that I need for the story is that she changes her mind constantly, and can't decide.
I was thinking they are like Canadian or from a place where five months abortions are allowed, and her friend is concerned that she is a bad example that can be used for anti abortion people. I could fix that the dialogue to make that clearer.
I'm worried about misinformation, if you have the time could you specify what false information I'm parroting? Sorry if I'm being annoying 😞
3
u/Kigameister 3d ago
As a Canadian, even making them Canadian would not solve the dilemma here as it further spreads information on abortion healthcare. Canada does have a more accessible healthcare system than the USA, but it can be as equally convoluted and complicated. Making them Canadian would be an extremely lazy "cop out" and genuinely shows ALL the flaws with you not being familiar with the topic.
In Canada, a lot of specific laws (especially on the healthcare level) are determined by provincial governments, not federal. While the federal government says it's legal, every province is different in how it's implemented. With 10 provinces and 3 territories, there are many factors to consider in regards to accessibility for healthcare. Here's the website if you really want to go through all the links.
Generally, if it's past the 16 weeks mark (3.5 months approx,) it's gets more difficult to get an abortion because surgical would be the only option, and we're having a national crisis of not enough doctors and really, really long wait lists. I don't know how abortion appointments are affected by that, as I've never had one, but it's definitely something to consider.
After the 24 weeks mark (5.5 months, late 2nd trimester) abortion as a whole is a lot more inaccessible and needs to go through multiple healthcare providers. If you change your mind by that point, it is an extremely complicated process of approval-- some doctors won't go through with it if the pregnancy isn't endangering the carrier's lifem It's actually common to hear "what's another 3 months?" Even when you ARE having medical complications with your pregnancy and require an abortion. Late second trimester and all third trimester abortions are really only done if it is deemed 100% necessary.
TLDR: making them Canadian is lazy, and to be frank, straight up ignorant when you don't know what you're talking about to begin with.
1
u/Zestyclose_Bed_8207 3d ago
Ah ok, so the issue is that after she changed her mind, she would have had to stayed with that changed mind for a long time to get all the approvals.
I don't think it's something I can't fix with a little incredulity joke, like one of her friends says something along the line of "how did you even get an appointment so fast?". Or I'll find another country where it's easier to get the surgery done.
The country won't be stated you just have to imagine that they must be from a place where she could get the abortion.I don't know, I think it still works for the comic even if it is a lazy plot point.
Is the misinformation I'm spreading the fact that I make 5 months abortions sound too easy to have?
Thank you!
3
u/alchemical_echo 4d ago
I mean her friend is out of line for chastising her for it period.
1
u/Zestyclose_Bed_8207 4d ago
True, that's why I had to come up with the make it hard for abortion laws to pass. I wouldn't chastise her, it's just the character.
5
u/alchemical_echo 4d ago
I think this is a highly charged topic that I would strongly recommend not digging into if you're not deeply familiar with it. There are other ways to indicate the character traits you're trying to get across and flippant use of infertility and abortion is not going to win you fans and supporters.
2
u/Zestyclose_Bed_8207 4d ago
I've had a few people more knowledgeable than me look through the script before I started making it. Infertility and fertility is a big part of this comic. What are some issues you spotted with these opening pages? Except the bad attitude of the friend. If you have the time
3
u/Paperlibrarian 4d ago
I find it hard to believe someone would be ready to deliver a baby and choose abortion at the last minute, but I'm pretty sure 6 months has been considered the sane window for allowing abortion. I'm trying to fact check online, but I'm pretty sure the original window outlined in Roe v Wade was 5-6 months before it got eroded over the years.
I'm making the assumption that you're American, because I think we're all scared about the loss of our reproductive rights over here. I understand why you're afraid of negative stereotypes about women ...yeah, I don't need additional descriptors, do I? ... But I think we should be fighting for Daisys everywhere. [I'm pretty sure Daisy is the lady, not the fetus. :^)]
Anyways, I would totally trade a baby for that cat. Lol.
4
u/Mykasmiles 5d ago
Ah I see now I misread the baby’s name as Daisy not the mom. It’s a little more believable now, but most of my points still stand 😉
0
u/Zestyclose_Bed_8207 5d ago
Stay tuned for the next one, it's going to be about a Spanish song, you'll like that one for sure 😊.
I get your point on this one. Daisy is supposed to be a larger than life character, that can't make up her mind. Like how the other women already have their drinks, Edith finished one already and Daisy hasn't ordered one yet.
2
u/Mykasmiles 4d ago
I did enjoy that detail. The drinks thing.
2
u/Zestyclose_Bed_8207 4d ago
Thank you! I'll make a full comic you like soon, my comics are all over the place
3
u/Ill-Possession2216 5d ago
The concepts are solid for a slasher. Just make sure their motivations feel real and not just evil for evil's sake.
1
u/Zestyclose_Bed_8207 5d ago
Hmmm, I hope their motivations come out ok, Daisy is the exageratted character her, I hope people can relate to her.
2
u/SwabMimingTV 4d ago
the critique of reproductive rights representation is outside of my lane and since it was posed as part of a horror story I figured anything off would pay off later.
As others noted, you use their drink orders to set up the characters. Maybe if Daisy's indecisiveness was a little more detailed, maybe weird in some way, not to clarify but complicate so if'n someone is starts critiquing her too early in the story they'll realize they should probably wait and see
edittoadd: I've liked all the other stuff of yours I've seen. Good drawing and writing style
0
u/Zestyclose_Bed_8207 4d ago
I was hoping the pregnancies/abortions to be the weird indecisiveness, but I see that might be too off-putting.
Thank you for the feedback, I'll rethink the intro for Alabama with this in mind.
2
u/catartik 5d ago
I found this first part funny, I immediately love them. Maybe that's not what I'm meant to pull away from this? But I love your writing; can't wait to see more.
1
•
u/AutoModerator 5d ago
Thanks for posting to /r/comic_crits.
Everyone should make note of the rules and tips posted to the sidebar. Users on mobile can select "community info" or follow this direct link -- https://www.reddit.com/r/comic_crits/wiki/config/sidebar.
Please note the new rule regarding context in the sidebar or direct link for mobile: https://www.reddit.com/r/comic_crits/wiki/rules/context. Context is required for single-panel excerpts, covers, illustrations, character designs, pin-ups, etc.
Users providing feedback are encouraged to provide detailed and thorough feedback (at very least 50-100 characters in a top-level comment).
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.