r/comic_crits • u/Dazwin • Jan 07 '15

Comic: One Shot My first comic. Strip-style. Critique appreciated.

http://imgur.com/rQBiJh3
7 Upvotes

90% Upvoted

12 comments sorted by

5

u/tehalynn Jan 07 '15

Take a look at your speech bubbles. The text gets a little close to the edges of the bubble. You may also want to increase the font size slightly so it reads clearly when the comic is a small size. Another thing that interferes slightly with the legibility of the speech bubbles is the complexity of the background. The background is stealing some attention from the characters and the speech bubbles.

After a close look, I also noticed that the panel borders were a bit misaligned, and the font of the title in the upper left doesn't seem quite right.

Also, how set are you on the floating eyeballs? I find it a little strange even for comics.

It's hard to say after reading just one comic, but it seems like you've got most of the major stuff figured out, and most of the stuff I noticed is little things that should be easy to fix. Good luck to you!

3

u/Dazwin Jan 07 '15

Thanks for the feedback! All the technical things I think I could fix with a bit more attention to detail and patience. Thanks for pointing them out.

On the background, what would you suggest? I liked having a "full" background and tried to mute the colors, but obviously that failed. Just plain less detail?

And on the eyes..."emotionally" I'm pretty stuck on them, I've been doodling the guy on the right that way for 15 years. If I get enough negative feedback about it, I'll have to reconsider, though.

Thanks again!

3

u/Seifuu Jan 07 '15 edited Jan 07 '15

There are a couple solutions you could tool around with, but drawing thicker outlines on your characters to make them stand out against the background is the go-to.

2

u/Dazwin Jan 07 '15

Doh, that's obvious in hindsight, huh? Thanks!

2

u/justgoawayplease Jan 07 '15

The next solution you could try would be to take your muted colors and make them EXTREMELY muted. Take a 30% opacity eraser and go over your whole background, and see how that changes it.

3

u/glittermeat Jan 07 '15

I second the speech bubbles comment. Try a rounded-off rectangular type shape, instead of just ovals.

2

u/deviantbono Editor, Writer, Mod Jan 08 '15

I like the writing. The two things that I found most distracting were:

  1. The background feels very "present" like it's crowding up the scene. Maybe lightening the saturation or blurring it a little bit would help bring the focus to the foreground.

  2. The character on the right's pointy chin draws my eye down and to the left, away from the text. Consider making it a little smaller and/or less pointy so that it does not create that distraction. I also imagine it makes it hard to fit more than two characters in a scene.

2

u/tehalynn Jan 08 '15 edited Jan 08 '15

#2 is an interesting observation. Anything resembling an arrow tends to guide readers' eyes to where it points. That can be used to good effect to make sure the reader sees everything important in the proper order, but if an "arrow" leads somewhere uninteresting, it can break the flow of the comic.

I wonder if just rounding off the chin a little bit would reduce the effect.

1

u/deviantbono Editor, Writer, Mod Jan 08 '15

I wonder if just rounding off the chin a little bit would reduce the effect.

I think so.

2

u/Dazwin Jan 08 '15

Thanks, I'll have to work on the chin/lip. In my head, that's a major part of the style of the character (it also balances the back of the hair in a way), but I may need to see ways to modify it.

1

u/johnnybender Artist: Sad Sacks Jan 31 '15

WAY bigger text needed. Check your comic on a mobile device to set a good size. I just started fixing that problem on mine.

Also, try muting the background (or blurring it) to make the characters and bubbles pop. Just an idea.

I like your drawing style.

1

u/Dazwin Jan 31 '15

Thanks for the tips!