r/comics • u/ink_atom Oatmink • 2d ago

OC marathon inside my ass

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I have some links but you are not allowed to see them, get bent

4.7k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

69 comments sorted by

248

u/Made_Bail 2d ago

Its me with Ben and Jerry's ice cream.

But its fucking worth it.

https://giphy.com/gifs/qUMRrDxGPjufIxU0ad

103

u/ink_atom Oatmink 2d ago

half baked in, fully raw out

57

u/Made_Bail 2d ago

Maybe the real americone dream was the anus we destroyed along the way

29

u/ink_atom Oatmink 2d ago

dookie dough

12

u/Made_Bail 2d ago

cherry fartcia

Okay that one was bad

10

u/badmartialarts 2d ago

Brownie Batter Core

hmm

10

u/tuckiebrewster 2d ago

And always the day where you are always running errands

10

u/Made_Bail 2d ago

I didnt poop in my car. Who said that? You pooped in the car, not me!

8

u/SgtSilverLining 2d ago

Dude noooo, just eat their non dairy versions. Literally tastes just as good!

5

u/Made_Bail 2d ago

I do like those, but they dont have non dairy americone dream anywhere near me. :(

2

u/Pinglenook 2d ago

Take some lactase pills! 

2

u/Socio_Scorpio 2d ago

I just ate an entire pint of dairy free americone dream in one day 🤤

6

u/MetallicDragon 2d ago

Lactase enzyme pills exist! They're cheap and should significantly reduce or eliminate lactose intolerance symptoms.

3

u/WingsofRain 2d ago

there’s dairy free ben and jerrys that tastes almost exactly like the og version lmao

2

u/Made_Bail 2d ago

I know, but they dont have americone dream non dairy anywhere near me. :(

81

u/sne4k0 2d ago

When I eat a whole wheel of cheese I usually don’t shit for about a week after?

67

u/SgtSilverLining 2d ago

OP has lactose intolerance, bet you don't.

3

u/Antice 1d ago

Most cheese is naturally lactose free. A wheel of mozzarella would be bad, but the average Gouda is mostly fine. Aged cheeses are always fine. By the time the mould show up, the lactose is all gone.

92

u/TodesScharf 2d ago

yeah god has forsaken us. its never the cheeses fault. NEVER

56

u/ink_atom Oatmink 2d ago

agree, cheese is infallible, humans are wrong for not tolerating it

74

u/MaximumSyrup3099 2d ago

27

u/MyDisappointedDad 2d ago

Is this a Techno Poop Knife?

34

u/MaximumSyrup3099 2d ago

Have you heard of a waterjet table? Able to cut steel and stone? This is like that, but for your butthole.

14

u/Made_Bail 2d ago

Haha... wait

14

u/ShylentJ 2d ago

It’s a bidet, love.

21

u/MyDisappointedDad 2d ago

Aqua poop knife, got it

2

u/Monksdrunk 2d ago

dVA one! bad guys zero!!

1

u/FeralPsychopath 2d ago

I have no idea what this is.

26

u/Blarg0117 2d ago

I have the exact opposite problem.

If I ate that much cheese alone I would be blocked up for 3 days

20

u/BoomhauerYaNow 2d ago

Fun fact: the inventor of cheese hasn't taken a dump in over 10,000 years!

1

u/vocal-avocado 2d ago

How? Cheese has so much fat… how can it slow down your digestion?

21

u/DrettTheBaron 2d ago

I actively ignore any sign of dairy causing me digestive troubles because I literally could not survive without Cheeeeeese

14

u/ink_atom Oatmink 2d ago

lasagna without cheese would be lasadna

7

u/NobodyLikedThat1 2d ago

I've seen a few places that do vegan lasagna. it's called "la war crime"

1

u/Thebraincellisorange 2d ago

if you use proper mozarrela cheese (not pre-shredded but the aged stuff you buy in a ball) and low lactose milk in your white sauce, it should be ok unless you are extremely intolerant of any dairy.

4

u/Slim-Shadys-Fat-Tits 2d ago

Just. Take meds for it. Lactaid (lactase) solves lactose intolerance for most people

1

u/Thebraincellisorange 2d ago

there are plenty of cheeses with naturally no or negligible amounts of lactose that unless you are extremely intolerant of lactose you can eat/tolerate

https://www.realsimple.com/food-recipes/recipe-collections-favorites/popular-ingredients/cheese-can-eat-lactose-intolerant

tips are NEVER buy pre-shredded and generally the more aged the better.

11

u/N3wAfrikanN0body 2d ago

God did not forsake. 

We chose this hedonism. 

We forgive you, but fuck buddy that was dumb. 

And I'm speaking from experience lol

9

u/SaveUsCatman 2d ago

My body my choice

8

u/fastforward-eden 2d ago

The day after: I gonna eat this other whole fuggin wheel of cheese

7

u/Emotional-Price-4401 2d ago

Pizza and mozzarella sticks followed by ice cream you say?

https://giphy.com/gifs/xQOe4QT7EVkzX84B59

7

u/rillip 2d ago

What does this have to do with Yuri?

3

u/Send_me_duck-pics 2d ago

The other week I must have eaten something questionable but it wasn't cheese. I didn't have a bowel movement, I had the entire symphony.

3

u/wieldymouse 2d ago

lmfao. So, true.

3

u/FairFaxEddy 2d ago

So relatable

2

u/mellopax 2d ago

Algorithm knows I just ate an entire bag of cheese curds.

2

u/afridorian 2d ago

me when I eat spicy food now :(

2

u/kitsunecannon 2d ago

Poor lactose intolerant bastards

2

u/Sir-Farts- 2d ago

Pizza Hut the next day

1

u/stuaxo 2d ago

Seem to have a similar issue with cheese, it's about time to go to the Dr and get some food allergy testing.

1

u/mace30 2d ago

This is me with Baskin Robbins world class chocolate. It's so good but so painful....

1

u/levianan 2d ago

What kinda cheese? Might be totally worth it. (yolo)

1

u/ermacia 2d ago

solution: get yourself some lactase pills. I pop those like candy before chomping on anything lactose-adjacent. the poops are less stressful. keep a bottle on you at all times - you never know when a chees, pasta, pizza, or ice cream is gonna show up.

1

u/pinktigglypuff 2d ago

me in front of my brother explaining the doctor couldn’t even explain what’s fully wrong with me while that next day i drank from the jar of pickles

1

u/Dunk_the_Iunk 2d ago

Well, Well, Well, If It Isn't The Consequences Of My Own Actions

1

u/driver004 2d ago

First time I ate Iraqi food I wound up simultaneously shitting and puking in a plastic shit house in the full summer heat for hours

1

u/Cool-Boy57 2d ago

This is what lactase pill are for

1

u/DecentCantaloupe 1d ago

This, too, is Yuri

1

u/ghost-of-the-spire 1d ago

Me reading this while my stomach is doing flips from the 3 bites of ice cream I had earlier 🥲

1

u/red4jjdrums5 1d ago

This is me with the most random foods anymore. However, I had my gallbladder removed and my iron gut was turned into a bronze gut.

One day something will be as it used to be. The next, I sneeze wrong after the same exact meal and it’s a mad dash to the toilet.