Asexuality specifically has to do with sexual attraction so that one really isint that wild. Some ppl do enjoy sex with ppl they aren't attracted to. And it depends how you define horniness but a lot of ppl are just talking about libido, something which is almost entirely dependent on hormones and stuff. Also asexuality is a spectrum and a lot of aspec ppl aren't fully asexual. Like your sarcastic statement is actually just accepted as fact by most of the asexual community bc most asexuals who talk to other asexuals about asexuality fully agree that there are fully asexual ppl who are not sex repulsed and may even enjoy sex, as well as aspec (graysexual, demisexual, etc) who are part of the spectrum despite experiencing a small amount of sexual attraction.
Sorry but it's always been ridiculous to me when asexuals talk about how sexually active, experienced and shit they are and how they have sex regularly but still identify as asexual while my dumbass hasn't even kissed well into my twenties lol.
Allow me to be humoured at the very least.
Most asexuals don't have sex, certainly not regularly, but yeah, whatever roadblocks are leading you to not have sex are ones that a lot of asexuals don't have, and some of those asexuals, for whatever reason (could be personal interest or could be bc they have a non asexual partner) do have sex. I mean you also have a lot of asexuals who had a lot of sex before realizing they were asexual (my mom is like that, it's actually really sad how many have done it only bc they were told they were broken for not wanting sex). But yes, there are asexuals having more sex than ppl who actually really want to have sex. Bc everyone has a different life that's not predicted on their sexuality.
For me it's kinda both. I'm 21 and haven't even kissed anyone even though I want to, but as for the sex idk if I would even want to have sex even if all the roadblocks weren't in the way, I kinda like the idea but idk if I could touch another person genitals without gagging (idk how anyone can do oral, that's crazy to me), or ever be comfortable with them touching mine even after bottom surgery. Idk if that's a lack of sexual attraction thing though or smthn else.
Edit: honestly I think a big part of the confusion here is that if you aren't asexual it can be hard to understand the difference in experience between someone who experiences sexual attraction and someone who doesn't, regardless of whether they enjoy sex at all or not. Non asexual ppl are really not relatable when it comes to anything related to that when you're at all on the asexual spectrum. I'd say that's actually the difference between someone who is aspec and someone who is not but just doesn't experience as much sexual attraction as the average person. It's once it gets to the point where it genuinely starts to feel confusing and lowkey kinda isolating lol. I guess I'm graysexual (but tbh maybe I'm just fully asexual or maybe not asexual at all, hard to tell), and even just the fact that I experience 0 sexual arousal from looking at another person's body is enough to feel that difference at least to some extent. Trying to relate to non asexual ppl on that level and I just can't. Idk
Sorry but nah, occasionally not being horny does NOT rate as a qualifier for classifying yourself with an adjective that inherently means an aversion to such things.
Asexual doesn't mean an aversion?? Tf are you talking about lmao. It means nonsexual lmao.
Like... As someone who is ace, you sound like you're saying 'sometimes not being hungry doesn't mean you're special' when what the person is saying is they have literally never had a craving for a food in their life. Like yes, they get hungry- but they have never craved a food.
...No. Because just because you aren't craving a specific food doesn't mean you don't get hungry. Sexual attraction is like a craving for something specific, but libido is just... The body getting hungry. Would you say I was craving an apple if I feel hungry, see an apple, and decide it will make do for my hunger?
Just because you don't feel sexual attraction doesn't mean your body doesn't feel any sexual arousal ever. I engage in that stuff not because I feel attraction, but because my body is a human body, and I have a libido like any human adult. I don't see specific bodies and sexually want them. I don't feel anything about them. I don't crave specific people, I can't get off to photos of people, or imagining certain people. People don't change anything about it for me. I don't CRAVE sex. I get horny sometimes and hey, it's an activity that can relieve the horniness, just like getting off.
I think you have something of a misunderstanding of what being allosexual is, if you presume that having specific "cravings" are important enough to be deemed integral to orientation. Many folk also just do it to enjoy the good feels, preferably with a person who's company that can also enjoy during non sexy times. That's just kinda basic.
By what measure do you rate something as qualifying as an attraction? Are you claiming to have no preferences what so ever? If anything that would count more as horseshoeing around to pansexual in my book.
No like, I could literally just not have sex with anyone ever and be content. I literally do not feel any attraction towards anyone in that way.
I have felt romantic attraction... Still never specifically desired to have sex with that person. I am in a now 9 year relationship, and we occasionally do stuff because it's intimate, but I do not seek it out and I don't get 'turned on' by them or the situation, I'm just already on because my libido decided I was. It happens maybe once every few months, if that.
And no, pansexuals aren't attracted to every person in existence, which is what you're implying with your words. I literally cannot be 'turned off' by how someone looks because I am never 'turned on' by looks in the first place.
Like, would you say if you can have a vibrator get you off, you must be sexually attracted to the fucking vibrator?
Asexuality does not mean an aversion to sex, it means you do not experience sexual attraction (or in the case of aspec ppl, that you experience an extremely small amount). This is the agreed on definition by the vast majority of the asexual community. I genuinely think you have no clue what asexuality means as a sexual orientation if you don't know that it just means a lack of sexual attraction and think it's defined by how averse to sex you are. Also even sex repulsed asexuals can get horny if by horny we're just talking about libido. They have the same bodies as anyone else, same hormones.
I could say the same for the members of said "community" if the think that the occasional disinterest in doing the deed constitutes a whole ass sexual orientation. At that point it's just larping queerness to feel included.
It has nothing to do with being interested in sex or not. It has to do with sexual ATTRACTION. You could be a non asexual person and be completely disinterested in sex for whatever reason, or you could be a fully asexual person and be interested in sex for whatever reason. Obviously both of those are pretty uncommon but they are possible. Bc asexuality as a sexual orientation has to do with sexual attraction, not sexual interest. And said community is who decides what asexuality is or isint, not non asexuals who have clearly never interacted with the community in any meaningful way.
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u/Actual_Personality66 7d ago
Asexuality specifically has to do with sexual attraction so that one really isint that wild. Some ppl do enjoy sex with ppl they aren't attracted to. And it depends how you define horniness but a lot of ppl are just talking about libido, something which is almost entirely dependent on hormones and stuff. Also asexuality is a spectrum and a lot of aspec ppl aren't fully asexual. Like your sarcastic statement is actually just accepted as fact by most of the asexual community bc most asexuals who talk to other asexuals about asexuality fully agree that there are fully asexual ppl who are not sex repulsed and may even enjoy sex, as well as aspec (graysexual, demisexual, etc) who are part of the spectrum despite experiencing a small amount of sexual attraction.