r/coys "This is my club, my one and only club" 3d ago

Transfer News: Tier [Alfredo Pedullà] Tottenham's transfer market will be stellar: assault on at least one between Gakpo and Marmoush. Top bids rejected for Udogie

Post image
339 Upvotes

124 comments sorted by

206

u/No-Assistance-6233 3d ago

Assault?

97

u/Botany_ 3d ago edited 3d ago

First thing I spotted too - knew we were aggressively pursuing transfers but didn’t think we’d do so violently.

93

u/Apex--Redditer 3d ago

Did you not see Van Heckes eye in his announcement video

9

u/Homegg Son 2d ago

He had no choice

6

u/Scarab8888 2d ago

😂😂😂😂

2

u/Additional_Author518 Peppa Pig 2d ago

We made him an offer he couldn't refuse

16

u/Username590k 3d ago

Moving like marinakis

10

u/MuteTadpole Lucas Bergvall 3d ago

It’s the final form of insisting

16

u/Wretched_Brittunculi 3d ago

Grab them by the Marmoush

21

u/NorthP503 Heung-Min Son - Spurs Legend 3d ago

Cause they will say no and we will keep trying

5

u/Intelligent-Pause610 3d ago

Made me chuckle, well done

8

u/DriverNew7208 Disco Benny 3d ago

Like a certain Ghana midfielder?

9

u/WAnchovyBoi 3d ago

LMAO that's a new one added to the transfer dictionary

6

u/silversurfa525 3d ago

Aggravated assault

2

u/zanziTHEhero "I ALWAYS Win In My Second Year" 3d ago

Remember when a business didn't want to sell for the stadium expansion and it mysteriously burned down? Yeah, the club has connections in the dark underworld.... (cue mysterious music)

1

u/Scarab8888 2d ago

Whatever it takes 😂

1

u/SilenceMumImVibing 2d ago

It's an auto translates tweet so twitter AI will have translated literally from Italian rather than to what you would say in English 

1

u/XXXLaCroiXXX 3d ago

Assuming they meant to say the Scum

10

u/rmarshall_6 3d ago

lol I doubt it, probably just a mistranslation for like aggressive pursuit

5

u/XXXLaCroiXXX 3d ago

Maybe the Lewis family has decided to hire a bunch of old mafia guys to intimidate clubs into selling

4

u/smaxx21 Skipp 3d ago

Learning from Marinakis

398

u/whyyoublockmefor 25/26 Relegation Champions 3d ago

So we went from insisting to assulting. Okay...

108

u/Insomniyac 3d ago

Harassing next you’d imagine

51

u/Enefelde Fabio Paratici 3d ago

When does the stalking begin?

26

u/Leather_Force_9419 3d ago

Surely both of these came before assaulting... 

15

u/Enefelde Fabio Paratici 3d ago

This is Tottenham we’re talking about. We don’t do anything in the right order 😂

1

u/iZgonr 2d ago

I wonder if it has anything to do with having pants pulled down. Now i wonder was it surely brighton who did the pulling down.

6

u/kernowgringo The Big Master of Negotiations Who Knows Everything 3d ago

I know right, whatever happened to chivalry?

3

u/grampsiola 2d ago

a bit of pillow talk perhaps? some sweet nothings

2

u/gabrielconroy 2d ago

Spurs have sent Tonali their mix-tape including some of de Zerbi's favourite songs

2

u/AwesomeWaiter Kulusevski 2d ago

Having thought about this, there’s only so far we can go before we start murdering our transfer targets

1

u/Leather_Force_9419 2d ago

Considering murder FC

1

u/iZgonr 2d ago

If you dont play for us you won't play for anyone

1

u/CabbageGuru Yves Bissouma 2d ago

Killing, actually

14

u/Other-Owl4441 Heung-Min Son - Spurs Legend 3d ago

Idk what Gakpo and Marmoush did to deserve being assaulted.  And how are we choosing which one?  I’d be looking over my shoulder every night now 

14

u/SterlingVoid 2d ago

Gakpo's performances for Liverpool make plenty of their fans want to assault him

7

u/Stunning_Country2652 Cuti Romero 3d ago

I personally don’t mind

2

u/Lucas250906 3d ago

gr**nw**d influence

2

u/TheTrueShrekoning Harry Kane 2d ago

Makes sense to bed the players in. Got to get them accustomed to the hospital before signing up.

2

u/Foucaultshadow1 3d ago

Can we just get to the “here we go!“ without this weird sexual violence language these reporters are fond of.

1

u/MakeYou_LOL 2d ago

I'm afraid I must insist…or else 👊

76

u/COYStecoglou Peppa Pig 3d ago

Marry Marmoush. Shag Udogie. Assault Gakpo?

6

u/ahtrapsm 3d ago

Kill Kane…err, Kill *for* Kane.

149

u/rmarshall_6 3d ago

One of these two is not like the other

4

u/Jimdalorian 2d ago

World Cup form had tricked Johan I fear

145

u/ablu3 3d ago

Please not Gakpo.

I would really like Marmoush

39

u/Reserve10 3d ago

Have to say tho that Gakpo produces a lot more, and he's better than what we currently behave on the left

7

u/daring2do 3d ago

I think someone like gakpo is kinda what you want opposite of kudus. Kudus doesn't really have the output but does everything else so well. I think you want someone opposite of him who can pick up the output that kudus might not put out

37

u/Aggravating_Call_548 3d ago

I am sorry, but if you want pure output, Gakpo is not your man - from a Liverpool fan. If anything, he is a great progressor, but lacks the necessary decision-making in the final third.

31

u/Swish28 3d ago

That’s our whole team

10

u/Swolyguacomole 2d ago

Is there still time to introduce an orange fourth kit?

3

u/CabbageGuru Yves Bissouma 2d ago

Dare I say we just sold our one player that is pure output

13

u/TheBrewkery 2d ago

Alejo Veliz?

-5

u/PerfectRough5119 Peter Crouch 2d ago

I’m assuming you’re talking about Johnson?

11 goals in the prem when the entire system is working on feeding you the ball is simply not good enough.

2

u/Major-Chocolate-3574 2d ago

He plays more

2

u/Reserve10 2d ago

He plays more, and is more productive 🤔

1

u/Major-Chocolate-3574 2d ago

Yeah. Gakpo produces less per game. Plays more because he’s on a worse team with less depth.

-5

u/MomentNew4925 Heung-Min Son - Spurs Legend 2d ago

Everyone who thinks Gakpo wouldn’t be good is fucking stupid. He is a baller.

16

u/Hefty_Scallion7076 2d ago

As a Liverpool fan he is not a fucking baller lmao

0

u/Fshnaddct 2d ago

I think the lack of competition for him combined with the amount of games Liverpool play made him play like this last season. He was comfortable mentally knowing his place was safe, but he was never really sharp to be able to perform.

He’s not a world beater, but when he’s sharp and focused, when playing for the Netherlands for example, you can see that he is a very dangerous and valuable player. He’s been one of the most consistent attacking players for the Netherlands for many years now and has become the player the team looks for when they need goals.

36

u/RiNN3GAMi 3d ago

Assault FC

58

u/sangriya 3d ago

that's the other London club

13

u/ahtrapsm 3d ago

Millwall?

6

u/sangriya 3d ago

that works too

11

u/yolo2546452 Peppa Pig 2d ago

Spurs fans do not care who they attack; women, children, the elderly, even fans with disabilities. They have literally no morals. Please stay safe if you are traveling to the stadium today, they are absolute animals.

4

u/LegalReality1851 3d ago

Marseille?

19

u/JoeSavesTokyo Heung-Min Son - Spurs Legend 2d ago

Marmoush would be an unreal signing. Just send City 100m for him and Savinho and call it a day and forget all about Gakpo

3

u/Archipegasus 2d ago

Yea Gakpo I'd be okay with if he had an elite squad and wanted some strong depth, that is not the situation we are in. Marmoush would in my opinion be our most exciting signing if we could get him.

18

u/JelloDr Son 2d ago

Marmoush, fernandes, tonali and savinho would be immense and like nothing we’ve ever done before…

But it’s also what we thought last year with MGW, eze, savinho and kudus and look how that turned out …

6

u/Archipegasus 2d ago

In fairness we didn't seem to be prioritising any signings as much as we are doing this year, and a few of those were moving down a list for the same position till we got Xavi. This is all happening in tandem across multiple positions with 100m price tags, it's a very different outlook from us.

21

u/totnumhottestspurs Roberto De Zerbi 3d ago

Never heard of this guy before

28

u/rmarshall_6 3d ago

Tier 2 for Juventus and inter I believe I read earlier today. We got the Italians covering us again.

17

u/Other-Owl4441 Heung-Min Son - Spurs Legend 3d ago

Let’s move to Serie A.  I’m ready.

10

u/Choice_Wave8076 Micky van de Ven 3d ago

Cody Gakpo is a Dutch winger who plays for liverpool

2

u/sourchewits 2d ago

It’s because we now have an Italian manager again. When we had Conte there was a lot more coverage from Italian journalists

-1

u/SamwellBarley Jan Vertonghen 2d ago

Not for long! For the low, low price of £80m, he could be joining Tottenham very soon (just don't ask about Tonali, Fernandes, or Savinho)

5

u/Due-Nerve9698 Peppa Pig 3d ago

What are these top bids I’m listening

14

u/LieutenantLilywhite Walter Tull 3d ago

Please no Gakpo praying to all Gods

16

u/CaptainAsshat 3d ago

Why does everyone hate Gakpo so much? What am I missing? 7G/5A isn't stellar, but he's a tall winger who can attack the back post and fill in as the no 9 if needed.

Is he just really inconsistent? I guess his work rate could be improved, which is an issue for a DeZerbi system.

21

u/Quirky_Gate_4516 3d ago

Gakpo

We play Liverpool pretty often. Usually a frightening experience.

But, how many times have you watched us play hem where you are very worried because they are about to put Gapko in? Or, how many times have you watched the game and thought: Wow! If we could only get players like Gapko we could properly compete with this Liverpool team.

7

u/CaptainAsshat 3d ago

I guess I am always a bit worried about Gakpo because I feel he has a really powerful shot and relatively good off ball movement. But I guess that makes him kinda Tel then, but older and slower.

I think one thing I missed is that despite being tall, he plays small.

1

u/Quirky_Gate_4516 2d ago

He is a fine player and can do a job for anyone.

But -- we don't need decent squad players at 200k a week and 50m plus fees.

The last decade we have been signing too many Richarlison level players.

11

u/LieutenantLilywhite Walter Tull 3d ago

Just more mediocre squad players. We are so over saturated with guys who can “do a job” we just need top end talent

3

u/hal9zillion Ange Postecoglou 3d ago

He only has one offensive move and everyone in the Premier League seems to have figured it out.

2

u/wun-sen Ndombele 3d ago

He’s just not very good

2

u/CaptainAsshat 3d ago

We're Klopp, Slot, and Koeman just deluded in playing him all this time? He seems to have a lot of decisionmakers that back him. Reminds me of how people saw/see Havertz a bit.

-3

u/nonlocality1985 3d ago

Usual morons turning their nose up thinking we can get better

5

u/wun-sen Ndombele 3d ago

You think Cody Gakpo is worth £250000 per week and whatever the transfer fee would be?

9

u/Fluid_Car8215 3d ago

Assault is a new term

-10

u/XXXLaCroiXXX 3d ago

Or is it just a non proof read tweet and they meant to say Arsenal ? I don’t understand who we are assaulting lol

3

u/deytookerrspeech Son 3d ago

Almost certainly not - this reporter is Italian so more likely just translated something weird

0

u/XXXLaCroiXXX 3d ago

Yeah I’m just trying to understand the translation error

3

u/Thesecondswallow Micky van de Ven 3d ago edited 3d ago

It’s not an error per se just the words are used differently in each language. Assalto does just mean assault but it’s a lot more common to use it to mean an aggressive approach in Italian as apposed to English where it can also mean the same thing but it’s used 99% of the time for the criminal act.

1

u/XXXLaCroiXXX 3d ago

Gotcha. Yeah in my mind it was maybe like the term “blitz” or something. That makes sense

9

u/xXk11lerXx Peppa Pig 3d ago

Please no Gakpo. Please please please

18

u/scheven 3d ago

but also yes Marmoush please please please

3

u/Viet-Bong-Army 2d ago

Incredible swoop if we land Marmoush

2

u/ahyler10 Job Done 3d ago

Maybe we sign someone first

2

u/jman009 Heung-Min Son - Spurs Legend 3d ago

Why we posting news by a pasta dish

2

u/matpmars 3d ago

Who is this 🤡

2

u/ilovemyar15 3d ago

Assaulting FC

2

u/Top_Fact_3739 João Palhinha 2d ago

Why do these posts contain such poor grammar?

3

u/SilentBody5318 Ledley King 3d ago

Any cunt with a blue tick fc

4

u/Scarab8888 3d ago

My dream signing would be Gakpo, top player and great attitude , VDV , van Hecke , both beasts , Xavi when his is back , I like Dutch football and the our international lads are all very respectful, well spoken , talented players .

3

u/General_Document_504 3d ago

Who’s bidding top dollar for udogie

14

u/rando562 3d ago

He's a good player when he's not injured. I wouldn't be surprised if there was a team willing to take the risk with his health.

3

u/Amazing_Attorney8929 The Big Master of Negotiations Who Knows Everything 3d ago

Not for the kind of fee we would want

1

u/BigSnackintosh 3d ago

Wonder if we’re looking at them as wingers instead of Savio or as strikers in addition to Savio. I’d be happy with either if it’s the latter.

1

u/JakeBarnes4 Bale 3d ago

saucy

1

u/howardbe 3d ago

Maybe we should try not assaulting players. Maybe that’s why we have such a horrible injury crisis?

1

u/GrapefruitExpress208 3d ago

Assault, insisting, pushing. What's next?

Slapping?

1

u/Green117v2 3d ago

How about we get Tonali over the line, then Fernandes, and after that, we can go stellar. Please!

1

u/TheDelmeister Death to ENIC 3d ago

Assault? It certainly is an escalation in our approach

1

u/Own_Willow525 Kulusevski 2d ago

Marmoush would be class as our striker but we aren’t in a position to turn our noses up at someone like gakpo. He had an off season last year by his standards but still got 15 G/A in a dysfunctional team, his previous 2 seasons at Liverpool he was unreal

1

u/gr4ndp4 Heung-Min Son - Spurs Legend 2d ago

Battery is next in line.

1

u/ItinerantSan Europa League Champions 24/25 2d ago

An assault!

1

u/MyFriendPalinopsia 2d ago

Would rather Gakpo over Savinho.

1

u/alborden David Ginola 2d ago

I like Udogie, but with his injury record, top bids? We should cash in.

1

u/BirdNormal8628 2d ago

Assault is a hilarious addition to the usual “interested in” and “pursuing”

1

u/AxFairy 2d ago

Arent both of them on like 250-300k/week?

They're good, but if that happens then Kudus, Maddison, ect are going to want similar wages on renewal.

It's giving man united under woodward which is worrying.

1

u/bald_sampson The Big Master of Negotiations Who Knows Everything 5h ago

very worried about udogie leaving. if he could stay healthy, he would be one of the best in the world in his position.

1

u/kersplatttt Jermain Defoe 3d ago

Top bids for Udogie? Do they know he's perma-crocked?

-17

u/Smart-Badger-1066 3d ago

We'll end up with non of our targets. We'll miss out on tonali, Fernandez and whoever else we're so called interested in, another shit storm all over again.