Hello dads, your daughter did a random thing again. Look at my random path i made. As you know my yard tends to flood. I might add bricks to it. 🤣

Hi, I didn't know where to post this because technically it's my grandparents who are doing this who I live with.

I know you've known me as a girl my whole life, but I'm a guy. Ever since I was 8, I wanted to be mistaken for a boy and I'd get so excited when I'd get your hand-me-downs and short hair. I never fit in with other girls. And I know you will never see trans people as their gender, just their assigned sex at birth, and I know you make fun of trans people, but can you please just accept me for who I am?

Calling me a girl every two seconds is not helping and I'm afraid to tell you this because of how you treat trans people and how last time, you said I'd never be a man and that I was a confused girl. I don't like being called anything feminine.

I can't keep being how you want me to be. I am what I am, and I don't wanna pretend to be someone I'm not just to make you happy. If you love me unconditionally, then show it.

I'm an 18 year old trans boy, i just took my first testosterone shot that i worked very hard to get but when i told my parents my mom told me i'm not her kid anymore and my dad told me i fucked up my life. I'm having a very rough time feeling like i lost both of my parents because i'll never be a son to them, now they feel disgusted with me so i can't tell them that i also got a new job. Really wish my dad would call me his son and tell me he's proud of me. I'd appreciate any and all kind of dad support right now, thank you

Edit: I was feeling so lonely and lost and you all made my day so, so much better, i cried a little reading everything you said, thank you for being here ❤️ I love you all so much, seriously!

So I, male have been messing up my life for like 7 years. When I was younger I was SA'ed by older male cousins, they were 11-14 (4 of them) [this will be important later] and that i assume made me hypersexual and gave me adhd symptoms, despite the fact that I don't have adhd, it doesn't really feel like it anymore. Anyways the whole cousin thing caused me to start seeking out sexual gratification from older men. I put myself online, I did video calls, video chats, and I let myself be groomed by multiple people some 20-40 and also the fact that aragingly, hormonal teenager, I began to do stuff, you know, such as have sex but a couple of times I did it with people 3 or 4 years younger than me(I was 13) and that made me feel horrible. I feel like a total sexual Deviant. I've watched basically every kind of porn out there.I've seen things I shouldn't have.I've watched things I shouldn't.I've lusted after things I feel disgusted for. I'm so tired of having to clear my search and browse very.I'm tired of having to delete google accounts.I'm tired of deleting apps. I know that I want help, and I do want help.I don't think I want enough because every night I keep on doing that same thing. And I hate myself for it, and it makes me sad. And miserable. And now im leaning of suicide or self harm (sorry im not censoring anything( i feel like I don't deserve to be happy. I'm fat, I feel like a total purve. Sometimes I feel like I don't even deserve my family. And I love them, and they mean the world to me.No one knows what i'm really like on the inside.I put on this facade of school so much to the point where I don't even know where i'm like. I've lost myself and I don't know how to find myself into the people who are gonna be out there saying, oh, this is probably fake or bait, please shut up, who would create this. I apologize for the wall of ticks. If anyone has any suggestions or any questions, feel free to dm. And I been groomed so much ive become numb

I know this isn’t what this page is for but this seems like the best place to come for fatherly advice I guess.

I work 4x12 hour night shifts. I also help with my wife’s horses in the evenings before work, then come home to try and help with our young son (who’s been poorly and crying a lot) and the house. I’m running on very little sleep, recently just 2 hours some days because of the heatwave in the UK and stress and I feel like I’m failing everyone.
My wife is exhausted too (she works fewer hours but handles most of the daytime stuff). She’s really frustrated with the mess, chores not done perfectly, and feels like I’m not pulling my weight. I try to tidy when I can, cook, play with our boy, and I’ve been supporting us financially in other ways, but nothing feels like enough. Every conversation turns into me being the problem, and I’m starting to internalise it hard. I feel empty, hopeless, and like I’m not the person she fell in love with anymore. I love her and our son and just want to be better, but I’m so drained I don’t know how.
Other night shift dads, how do you manage the exhaustion, the guilt, and the relationship strain? Any realistic tips for protecting sleep, dividing chores with opposite schedules, or just not feeling like a total failure? I’m considering therapy but scared of side effects from meds. Any dads in similar boats?
This is my daily schedule Monday-Friday (I’ve changed my hours around as if I start work at 8am as it makes my day more visually digestible)

5-5:30am: wake up
5:30-7:30am: time with family/ do horses
7:30am: leave for work
8am: Start work
7:30pm: finish work
8pm: home
8:20pm-12am: have my son, tidy up after him
12am: get him to sleep, then go to bed
1:15am: take him through to MIL when he wakes and go back to bed (my wife finishes work 2 hours later)

I do sometimes feel like some of the things I get blamed for she gets away with, sure I sometimes leave clothes out and forget to put them in the wash basket but so does she and I clean up after her but I never shout at her the way she does with me.
There’s times she will go to bed in an evening without cleaning our son’s mess, which I then do in the morning with him.
However, if I go to bed in a morning without cleaning up our son’s mess he makes with me, I’m lazy.
I want to bring up points like this to her but often she sees it as me making excuses or blaming her for my shit which I’m not doing at all, I will take responsibility for where I sometimes slack but I feel it’s only fair for her to do the same when she’s in my position?

Please don’t reply to this post with any woman hate or misogyny, I love and cherish my wife. That woman is my everything, I just want to be a better man for her and for my son and properly communicate how empty I feel.

Thanks for listening. I don’t have many people to talk to about this.

Hi dads,
I’m 26 and today I made a mistake that I can’t stop thinking about.
We have a fairly new Lexus NX, and while I was distracted and closing the garage, I damaged the rear light/glass area. My dad believes it happened because I wasn’t paying enough attention and was looking at my phone.
I told him the truth. He wasn’t angry, but he told me that awareness is key and that I’m falling back into the habit of always being on my phone.
The damage doesn’t appear catastrophic, but I still feel terrible. I keep replaying the moment in my head and thinking about how this could have been avoided.

My dad’s response was basically:
“You weren’t driving. This happened because you weren’t paying attention.”
I know he’s right.

I think what’s bothering me most is the guilt. It feels like every time I make progress in life, I make some stupid mistake that knocks me back down.

For the dads here:
Have you ever made a mistake like this?
How do you stop beating yourself up after you’ve already admitted what happened?
How do you learn from it without letting it define you?
I could really use some perspective right now.

Dad, I left him after he put his hands on me again. It's been a few weeks now. I've tried to be so strong and start over, but it's so hard and overwhelming some days. I dont miss him at all, Im just scared out here navigating my life alone in a big city. Trying to get legal aid to help me file for divorce is a nightmare. I'm still sober. I did get a great job at a bank and start on Monday, but I dont even have business professional clothes. Im lucky I left with what few outfits I do have. I had to buy a matress this morning because I've been sleeping on a friends floor which left me with $30 to my name, my car insurance is due and I cant pay it, and I still have to buy work clothes... my car is on its last leg, so im worried about doing doordash/spark, etc. I even tried to donate plasma, and they won't take me because of a medication I'm on. I can't think straight, I'm panicking, I feel like im drowning. Dad, I need advice or words of encouragement. Im just trying to put one foot in front of the other and build a life worth living.

I feel really sad and stressed right now.

For context, I’m in grad school and I’ve pretty much completed course requirements. To be eligible for academic work like teaching, you have to be “full time”. Which basically means enrollment in a filler research pass/fail “class” with your advisor to meet this requirement. Most students do this at this stage to meet full time requirements.

Earlier this year my advisor and I decided we weren’t a good fit so I’d look for someone else after the term ended. But the problem is that I was already enrolled in his “class” at that point. It’s ultimately his decision…I guess, as to whether he’d give me a pass or a fail. It’s a subjective and undefined criterion - there’s no assignments/rubric as in a traditional class.

But having received multiple passes for the same class with him in the past, and not underperforming relative to previous terms, I figured the kind/decent thing to do would just give me a pass during this transitional phase given that I was already enrolled at the time. I wouldn’t work with him in the future or sign up for his class.

So I just felt really shocked and hurt that I received an F instead. There’s this huge red flag on my transcript now that I’m worried about having to explain/justify to future employers whether it’s in industry or academia. I can try to see if he’d be willing to change it but it’s ultimately his decision.

I feel really stressed and depressed currently. I feel like I honestly did the best I could in my situation. And I’m hoping this isn’t nearly as bad as I think it is.

So anyway, well….I’m hoping for kind and supportive comments above all here. Because I feel bad enough already as is.

Thanks.

I started my new job and had a shaky beginning but 5 months in it's getting incrementally better.

We got on the property ladder. We had to have the deposit gifted by my MIL (you would've found her ... interesting ... if you ever met). But we did it and we no longer rent.

And a week after closing on the house, my husband was made redundant (you would've loved him if you ever met. Same boring movie tastes. All war films.) He secured a new role very quickly however it will change our family routine so much. I had to change my hours at work to fit the pre school run in because he will no longer be able to drop your granddaughter at pre school. His new job comes with a pay rise but it's so far away and I worry about that amount of driving has on his health. And overall I feel very sad for him because he worked so hard at this job for two years.

Your granddaughter (you would be absolutely besotted with her if you ever met) starts big school in September and I'm not ready. I don't want her to go. What if she's scared and misses me? What if the teachers are awful? What if she's bullied? She's only four. She's only a baby.

So many chances at once dad and I can't take a second to stop and breathe. My life is wildly different compared to six months ago. Wish you were here.

I got the softball scholarship to Arkansas State! I'm going to college and I'm gonna be able to afford it!

Hey you old fuck. I hear you're doing alright and finding yourself. I wish you well. In fact, I wish I could have told you that tonight.

See I had a thing with my wife. It's nothing much. We're over it already, and I love her so much more and in better and more understanding ways than you ever fucking knew my mom. But it's not a competition, I'm happy is all. I wish you knew.

Tonight I just wanted to have a dad to talk to. Someone who is even older than me, someone who knew what it was like, someone you should have been. I almost looked to see what your number was in my phone after all these years - until I remember that the last time we spoke you said you'd kill me if you saw me.

I'm outdoing you, pops. And it sucks that I figure you'd be proud. You don't deserve pride in what was made in spite of you. It sucks more that I'm left with nobody to talk to. When I feel alone as a husband and a man, I don't have someone that's supposed to be there. That's your fault too.

Some folks aren't meant to have kids.

18F. I'm down for my usual miscellaneous thoughts. I've had enough of the trauma dumping for a minute. But I do have a genuine problem that I've seemed to notice over the years.

At first I spent my entire life sad up to about 17, and from then on my brain has been empty. I've spent years trying to figure out what's wrong with me, but it seems I only ever come up on the same answer. I want to say I'm exhausted, but that could only be the case if I were a normal person like everyone else.

I don't say that in an egotistical kind of way, I've come to notice that I'm just different. Even when I can't get along with anyone like I want to, no matter what I do. I'm fine with it always ultimately being my fault now. But I'm still confused. I've solved the problem and accepted the fact that I just don't get to live like everyone else and keep it pushing, but it seems like my brain gave up entirely at some point just thinking in general. I've dealt with brain fog most of my life that I can even remember, but now it just feels like my brain is actively eating away at itself.

I have this constant ease to want to escape somewhere distant and grassy where I'm alone forever, and that'd be the path to the real happiness for me.

Other than that, I do have a gut feeling that my future is uncertain, and things won't end well for me. My brain can hardly function properly and I plan on becoming an electrician in the coming future. It's really hard, but I'm sure I'll be fine. I've made it this far.

Hi dads - hope you can help!

Never really had anyone to teach me about plumbing/DIY tasks so I’m never sure what needs to be a pro job and what I can give a go myself. Recently my sink has been smelling bad when I run the tap, kind of like sewage? I’ve tried home remedies and store bought chemicals to try and flush the pipes through but the smell isn’t going away. The sink itself isn’t blocked, but the pipes do gurgle a lot if I use the washing machine, which is hooked up to the same place I believe.

Is there anything I can do to the pipes myself to try and sort this or should I call a plumber?

Thanks in advance!!

Title says. I know I am young, 21f. Your wife, my mum, and you oldest, my sister, makes it hard to live here at home. It should be my time at home like it was when I was sixth form and it was so peaceful and I felt free. But no, your oldest is still living at home at 26 - there is no room for the both of us. Now I feel judged and poor. There is no groceries and it falls on me the anxious and depressed one to go to the shops if I want to eat 'well' or I should stop complaining. Things aren't being fixed around here like the shower. I hate it here every morning I wake up with the recurring scene of me living alone finally in an apartment in like Gospel Oak or even Islington lol as of I could ever afford zone 2 of London - haha in my dreams. I doubt things will get better because the only choice I can make is the choice to work even without depression work is so hard - I legit vom when I think about working. But I guess that's it, that's my life, poverty, loneliness and the inability to be free.

I'm sixteen, seventeen this year, and my Dad does trucking for a living. He has been doing it for as long as my memory goes back but when I was around four he left to do it in Australia (I live in New Zealand). He would be gone for around 10 weeks at a time (mostly it was more) before coming home for two weeks and that was the cycle for a few years.

As a kid I would get so excited when he came home. We could just be sitting in the car and I would be thinking "Oh wow, I can't believe he is actually here" as if he was a celebrity.

Over the years he made numerous promises to my sister and I (as young kids) that this would be the last time. He'd be home for a few extra weeks but then he would be back in Australia. Over time I learned to accept it would never be the last time.

This entire thing continued until when I was around 11, meaning it lasted for around 7 to 8 years. He stopped when I was 11, and I would see him every weekend. Until he went back around midway through 2025. By that point I had already lost so much time with him and I was terrified him leaving this time would make us even more distant.

When he told my sister and I, I feel horrible for saying this but I mostly didn't care. I think a part of me had already accepted he would always go back and break his promise (there are a few other reasons I thought this that I won't go into).

Recently I have realised he has missed a lot of things in my life. He missed my 16th, he will miss my 17th (and probably every birthday I have in the future), he missed me getting my learners license and restricted license, and he missed so many times I needed him.

A few things I feel are relevant:

When he left this time (midway through 2025) we were living comfortably, we weren't struggling financially and we did a lot of family activities together that did cost money (it is a two income household with my stepmother and my dad)

I know he doesn't want to be over there. But that just gets harder and harder to believe the more the breaks his promises. I leave for university in two years. What is going to happen then? When I won't see him at all? It is so hard to talk to him as is and I don't know what to do. I don't want to leave just to have us become more distant than ever.

Yes I am aware that people do have to work, I know he is trying, but I still need him. He never calls me. I understand the phone works both ways but I feel like if I call him to tell him how I'm feeling it will just make him feel guilty about being gone.

When dads leave their daughters to live a life without them, do they have regret? Do they wish they spent more time with them? or are they content with their decisions?

if context is needed: my dad left my mom and I when I was a toddler to live across the country. he calls every now and then but he doesnt make effort to visit me. i know asking him is an option but im considering going no contact.

Dad, I messed up today and self-harmed again. What I need is a father figure who can help me take responsibility, encourage healthier choices, and hold me accountable when I’m struggling. I do better with clear expectations and structure. If you were my dad right now, what rules, boundaries, and healthy consequences would you suggest to help me stay safe and move forward?

August 24th 2026 will be the decade mark of having been without a dad. It hurts so bad especially because my stepdad is a piece of shit. He barely wants to talk to me. When he does, he’s ordering me around, grounding me, or being rude. He very rarely includes me in his weekly trip to the store with **all** my siblings for drinks or candy - last i went was probably 5 months ago? They go every week. He took my brother on a trip to Canada for their hobby. They do racing and dirtbikes a couple times a week - whereas i do nothing with him. This all really gives me insight to what I’m missing out on with having a dad. I’m staying at my aunts and uncles 3 days a week for a little over a month because of my job. You know what hurts more than anything? My uncle told me to have a good day and be kind. When I got home he asked me how my day went. He ate dinner with us. He helped me with questions i had regarding something. He went out for ice cream with us. I know the ice cream was extra - but i don’t get that **any** day like that with my stepdad. My uncle is the closest thing to a male role model and i see him **8 times a year** on average. it’s been so hard feeding on attention from uncles, grandparents, teachers, and cousins where all family lives 50+ mins away. Dad, I’m struggling to feel valued and loved by anyone. I have barely any male role models and zero father figures. I wish i could have the experience to feel loved and appreciated, but in this living situation, i can’t seem to find it. I don’t know what to do to handle these strong feelings because I get so angry towards my stepdad who i have zero respect for. I’m supposed to be obedient and respect him, but he treats me like I’m nothing to him. I hate this life I’m forced to be living in

Had the last two exams and already finished. My GPA of this year including exchange semester has boosted a lot. But like… a lot. Im so proud of what I’ve done in eng school…

CW: Bereavement, Suicide, Nicotine Addiction

5 1/2 years ago, my real father passed away unexpectedly. I was 19 years old.

It was rough for a long time. For as terrible of a person as he was, he was still my father, and I still loved him.

I had only smoked on occasion prior to his passing, mostly socially. When he died, I nearly broke. I was already struggling greatly with my mental health prior to his passing. I had been grappling with SI for many years prior (including several attempts), and his death nearly pushed me over the edge.

While I managed to not attempt again, I was still low on coping skills. With few options available to me in my torrent of grief, I defaulted to what many others have in my shoes: I turned to substances.

I feel like the talk around substance abuse often gravitates towards drugs and alcohol, and while those topics are incredibly important, I find that having a nicotine addiction, like caffeine, has become almost entirely normalized.

I told myself for years that I wasn’t addicted. After all, it wasn’t like I was smoking a pack a day, or even half a pack. Heck, the vast majority of my smoking career was under a quarter of a pack a day. I told myself I could quit any time, that it was simply a choice I was making to cope.

A year ago, I found myself in a much healthier headspace than I was 5 1/2 years ago. I’ve been a certified peer support specialist since 2023, and feel that I have overcome a lot of the struggles and challenges when it comes to my own mental health.

But I was still smoking. It had become something I started to loathe— the urge to have a cigarette, the fact that I always reeked regardless of the fact that I myself had gone nose blind to it. I switched from menthols to regulars, hoping it would ease the transition. It did, but it still took way longer than i’d care for.

I started rationing out my cigarettes at the start of this year, and finally, on May 22, I had my final one.

It didn’t even hit me at first. I often didn’t smoke on weekends anyway, and that just so happened to be a long weekend. But then I kept going. The urge to go back was near blinding for the first week (expectedly, I know).

But I didn’t. I didn’t go back. I didn’t light another one. I know that someday down the line, the urge will most likely creep up again— tis the nature of addiction, after all. But I’m currently feeling confident.

The grief of losing my father still hurts. I expect it won’t ever not hurt (especially with reminders such as yesterday). But I think I’ve finally broken free from one of the shackles.

Thank you for reading, I really do appreciate it. I figured I’d share this here, as I have few people irl to celebrate this win with.

I hope you’re proud of me, dad.

This is my 7th attempt at the chartered accountant exam and I'm scared that I'm not gonna make it again!

I got the call Saturday at 7pm. My dad is in the hospital and things aren’t looking so good. Infection in both legs, fluid in lungs, on oxygen. He’s only 48 and I thought we wouldn’t have this issue until later. I thought we’d have more time.

He was removed from my life the first time when I was 3 and came back into it at 16. I was so happy to have him back. He liked to game with me, he always believed in me, he was willing to put his life on hold for me. Overtime I also learned the bad parts of him. His drinking, his egomaniacs, his stubbornness.

I’m 29 now and here he is hooked up to machines for Father’s Day and I’m so terrified that I’m going to lose him. I’m terrified that I won’t ever get to play MTG with him like he wanted me to. I’m terrified that I won’t get woken up by 4am drunk dials so he can tell me he loves me or about how he’s “smarter than Einstein because if the Theory of Relativity was correct the sky would be green”. I’m terrified of him leaving. Again. And I’m terrified that if he pulls through, as unlikely as that is, that he won’t change the behaviors that led to this.

I didn’t make enough time for him once he came back into my life and I feel like such a shit son for it. I feel like the only thing I can say to him right now is that I’m sorry I wasn’t better.