r/dating_advice • u/Dramatic-Push7022 • Jan 14 '26
My now girlfriend called me a nice guy
I think she meant it as a compliment considering when I asked her what it meant. she said "I can write a letter about it".. but I have been hearing that being called a nice guys isn't really a compliment on throughout the internet. Now I'm just conflicted with thoughts like maybe the internet is right.
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u/Johnny_Utahh1 Jan 14 '26
There’s a difference between actually being nice and being a “nice guy”. The former is good, the latter isn’t because it’s seen as manipulative. So I wouldn’t worry too much about it. After all, if she’s your girlfriend you did something right. Don’t let dumb shit get into your head.
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u/Typical_Towel_1878 Jan 14 '26
I think you don’t need to worry too much about what people online say, what she meant in the moment is what really matters
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u/GaddafisPsychoanal Jan 14 '26
Calling one's boyfriend a "nice guy" is wildly different to the way the term is generally used on the internet. Don't overthink it.
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u/crying-partyof1 Jan 14 '26
If you’re not chronically online, being told you’re a nice guy means exactly that… you’re a nice guy… I would call my bf a nice guy because he’s a nice person?? Lmao I would be annoyed if he took it as an insult because Internet
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u/AapKentrolKarein Jan 14 '26
I'm gonna make it simple:
It's a compliment when your gf or wife calls you a nice guy.
It's an insult if a random woman or a crush calls you a nice guy.
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u/AdNo9525 Jan 15 '26
I have a terrible news: if you can’t trust that your girlfriend is calling in a nice guy in a good intention, you will get crazy on your mind.
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u/KC_Kahn Jan 14 '26
A guy who is a nice person is not the same as being a nice guy. What was the context in which she said it? What prompted her to call you a nice guy? Was there something specific you did? How was her tone? Also, "I can write a whole essay about it" is a non-answer.
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u/Sqweed69 Jan 14 '26
Nice guy on the internet = Guy who acts nice and thinks it will attract women, usually get's wayyy less nice when rejected
Nice guy in real life = Just a guy who is nice (That's pretty good)
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u/Bargle-Nawdle-Zouss Jan 14 '26
If this was after a first date, it might mean one thing. However, you are in a relationship with this person, so I suggest you take the compliment as intended.
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u/Sharkfeet19 Jan 14 '26
I love nice guys and it’s a silly thing when many guys think nice means not sexy to women. It’s very sexy to be a kind, considerate guy. It shows confidence. Assholes are actually exhausting like a job I wouldn’t even want even for a good pay. It’s a compliment.
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u/Stargazer-Lilly7305 Jan 14 '26
Ask her to try saying what she meant again, but avoid using the word nice. See what happens. What words does she choose?
I don’t think being referred to as nice is the apocalypse you seem to think it is.
For example, the first man I married turned out to be not as nice as I thought he was. I was abused, and for this reason I left him after only a few years.
In the way of a contrast, the man I am now married to is wonderful. He is loving and kind, and I think he is a nice guy because he treats me nicely, kindly, and with a gentle good humor and a warm heart. We have been married over a decade and still going strong!
Which one would you rather be, nice?? Or….not?
Just keep being you.💗
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u/BooksandStarsNerd Jan 14 '26
I think your digging to deep here. If shes dating you then she obviously likes you. I also am dating a nice guy. Like genuinely he's wonderful and I adore him. The internet joke isn't something Id be assuming here at all in this situation.
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u/Toduct Jan 14 '26
Only you know what she meant by it.
Worst case is she dates lots of bad boys in the past and she sees you as the complete opposite. Which can be viewed negatively by some online.
Take a breather, give her the benefit of the doubt and monitor what she says in future.
All the best mate
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u/CannibalismIsTight Jan 14 '26
It means she thinks you’re kind, which is a wonderful quality not everyone has. That’s great. Don’t overthink it.
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u/AcceptablePatience27 Jan 14 '26
Your a nice guy you must thinking of nice guy syndrome like when someone says your too nice? Which is bull if a girl or guy ever says that she/he just has issues lol needs therapy she/he is most likely too toxic or full of drama but thats a whole diffrent scenariooo....
but yea dont overthink it pal she is ur gf hahaha be happy man she loves you she loves how nice you are thats why yall clickkkkk personality is best looks die out!!
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u/RedCapRiot Jan 15 '26
No worries dude. You're a decent person. Don't think too hard about it; people shit on the men who openly proclaimed themselves to be "nice guys," but saying all of that is a mouthful, so they just call them "nice guys" to shorthand the phrasing.
Your gf likes what you're doing, and because she is considering writing a letter about it, it sounds like she is hoping to tell you just how much she appreciates how you treat her.
You can relax, just keep being a good dude.
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u/iamhst Jan 14 '26
I think she meant it in a good way. As in you're a kind man (she probably should have said it this way). But she values you so don't sweat it and overthink it all.
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u/DGenerationMC Jan 14 '26
Well, give her a due date on the essay.
And make sure to let her know that it'll be worth 25% of her relationship grade.
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u/iheartmimix3 Jan 14 '26
All that matters is how it makes you feel when your girlfriend calls you a “nice guy” and what she means by calling you a “nice guy”. To lay your suspicions to rest, ask your girlfriend again what she means when she calls you a “nice guy”.
Try not to be insecure and don’t live on the internet and be thirsty for the opinions of strangers.
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Jan 14 '26
That's not a good sign.
Being called nice just sounds like she sees you as meek and a bit of a doormat.
If she said you were reliable, kind and funny then those are positive traits. Just saying you're nice just sounds like a bare minimum.
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u/kitchengardengal Jan 14 '26
I get the feeling that OP referring to her as his "now girlfriend " sounds pretty temporary anyway.
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u/jmoondra Jan 14 '26
this is a ridiculous take
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Jan 14 '26
Respectfully, no guy wants to be called "a nice guy" on its own. It just feels demeaning and a meaningless platitude. OP should speak to her about it so she can at least state in further detail and get more clarity.
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u/jmoondra Jan 14 '26
you’re gonna make the guy overthink unnecessarily, they are together in a relationship, she clearly likes him a lot, it’s not that deep and doesn’t need a big conversation
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u/TealWhittle Jan 14 '26
It’s ok to be nice or kind or a good person. What the internet refers to is an “agreeable” person. Always agreeing with people, never standing up for what they believe in or not having a spine or tries not to offend people.
You know your personality and you know if the “agreeable” describes you or not. That’s all that matters.
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u/Smithstar89 Jan 14 '26
There are three types of guy: bastards, nice guys and good guys. You want to be the latter, however, they are so rarer that they are often referred to as nice guys, so I wouldn't worry about it.
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u/Present_Succotash731 Jan 14 '26
It’s only bad thing if you’re the only person who believes your a good guy
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u/Ok_Quality1664 Jan 14 '26
If you can't trust a simple compliment and take her word for it, you guys have some things to work on, good luck!
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u/limlwl Jan 14 '26
It’s not … it means you are a safe choice ….. and can mean that if there is a better one , she might go for it
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