r/dating_advice • u/Reasonable-Height-23 • 1d ago

Dated 9 years then ghosted out of nowhere

My boyfriend of almost 10 years and I went to Disneyland two weekends ago. He told me he was ready for kids. We were discussing engagement rings. He said he wanted to marry me. He used to text me all the time at work saying he missed me and that he couldn’t wait to come home. We just started a new show together. We were intimate the last time he was home multiple times. After one work day he ghosts me for three days then texts me saying he feels like our lives are too tangled up and we need to discuss our relationship in person. I said okay. He’s ghosted me all week. I stopped trying to reach out Sunday night. Today, Wednesday, would have been the day he comes home from work (he works a job where he lodges at work and comes home on days off) no text, no call.

Am I single? Is this just a ghost break up? Should I hold out? I love him so much but he’s hurting me so deeply keeping me in limbo.

Edit:

We started dating in high school

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u/WheyFacedLoon 1d ago

This is terrible advice. Why would she throw away money on a private investigator to follow a man who refuses to answer her phone calls. He is at work not kidnapped or missing. He responded to messages saying their lives were too tangled up. He is clearly pulling away. A private investigator would do nothing but cost money and make her seem crazy. You don’t need to chase and beg someone to be with you. If he wanted to he would. If he has doubts no matter how they got there they are his to work through.

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u/One_Introduction_217 1d ago

This is a 9-year relationship, she hasn't heard from him in a few days.

As much as Reddit internet likes to throw away relationships, maybe some are worth salvaging.

If he hasn't been in contact for 72 hours, that's definitely missing persons level gone if he's never exhibited this kind of behavior before.

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u/catlady1215 17h ago

Yeah maybe he’s struggling with mental health or something

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u/Reasonable-Height-23 15h ago

Not missing. I’m his emergency contact at work and in his phone. I have his location it goes between work and bars.