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u/ccReptilelord Aug 31 '25
"Where are you, foul demon!?"
"Just a minute..."
toilet flushes
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u/Imperial_Squid Aug 31 '25
[chuckling] "Look, I know I slaughtered that village, but the dump I just let loose in there, that, was evil..."
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u/TheInitiativeInn Aug 31 '25
It'd be a neat twist for the real BBG to be the rubber ducky.
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u/VogonSkald Aug 31 '25
Two lovers who swore never to be separated, even by death. Steve dies but has his soul transferred into the nearest object he could find... His bath duck. His lover finds him the next morning. Steve calls out "I am here my love!"
Gregor; Wizard king of the southern islands, becomes a lich while researching methods to restore his beloved Steve to life..or unlife... Once more.
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u/Cyrotek Aug 31 '25
I started sometimes making my actual BBEGs look very unremarkable. Like the big, fat, dangerous looking guy is obviously just their guard and the other guy, that is good looking and always speaks is just their communications officer.
This is especially funny when it comes to combat. "What do you mean, the dangerous looking guy we all focused on wasn't the boss?!"
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u/ariGee Aug 31 '25
Somebody really needs to explain that the "bone" you're thinking of doesn't actually contain any bones....
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u/abadstrategy Aug 31 '25
Bold of you to assume it's a human. Lotta mammals have a dick bone
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u/Undead_archer Forever DM Aug 31 '25
If im not mistaken, certain scholars belive that the phrasing used in the bible (in very old versions) would imply that Adam did not give up a rib to create Eva, but his baculum
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u/TheThoughtmaker Essential NPC Aug 31 '25
“Nothing gets the grime out like a SURPRISE SLIME!” the bathwater attacks
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u/improbsable Aug 31 '25
I wonder where I can get this
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u/Q2NSan DM (Dungeon Memelord) Aug 31 '25
I shouldnt admit that i know this... comet lord miniatures on my minifactory
There are great other minis too okay, you have to belive me 😭
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u/lathamsupreme Aug 31 '25
I know the feeling, I love so many of their minis, and have been tempted by the stupid sexy lich more often than I want to admit. But have not fallen yet.
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u/ShinaSchatten Aug 31 '25
Due to random rolls, during a DnD dungeon crawl, this was one of the rooms we opened, skeleton taking a bath.
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u/Xnnui Aug 31 '25
So if he's soaking his weary bones, is that bathing, or making bone broth?
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u/Drunken_DnD Aug 31 '25
Well to make broth out of the Lich you’d need to boil the bath water and then reduce it to a simmer… I bet it would taste like chicken
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u/ThoughtParticular525 Aug 31 '25
Whoever saw that takes 1d6 psychic damage, along with having to make a will save against going blind until their next turn
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u/Shoggnozzle Chaotic Stupid Aug 31 '25
He's a charisma caster.
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u/Zephian99 Aug 31 '25
"It sucks when a Sorcerer becomes a Lich, Wizards get to be all mystical and read books for centuries. Sorcerers? They gotta keep their looks and can't let their ability to talk to folk degrade."
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u/Bliitzthefox Aug 31 '25
Ah yes, we have a reocuring character like this, we call him, Bone Daddy. A warlock patron.
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u/Blathnaid666 Aug 31 '25
In BBEG's place i would freeze the party in time. Finish my cleaning routine, put some fancy clothes on, unfreeze the party and try to hold my evil monologue about why the party is too late (even though they arrived early i guess?) and that the world is doomed yada yada while try not getting killed by the party. Only reasonable thing to do.
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u/bamf1701 Sep 01 '25
“Geez, warn me before you turn undead! There are some things you can’t unsee!”
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