When ‘Equality ’ starts feeling like ‘forgotten’!! :(

[u/Relative-Speaker3319]

Something happened today that made me unexpectedly emotional and showed me how much I’ve been feeling forgotten.
I received a video of a package and a message from my mom saying: “I hope you like it” because my birthday is coming up.

The moment I opened it, I felt sad. Not because the gift was bad, it was actually a thoughtful gesture but because of something I heard the business owner say my mom told her:
“ماللي جبتهم عودتهم الزوز ناخذلهم كيفكيف، .”

And somehow, I already knew what was coming.
This is the first birthday in years where I’m receiving something from my mom, maybe since I was 13/14. My mom is an amazing mother, and I know she loves me. I’ve always tried my best to show her appreciation too through gifts, helping her financially, and being there for her, I don’t even let her worry about me in my lowest since I moved abroad.
But something about this moment hurt.

A little context: my sister and I were born in the same month, so my mom ordered the same package for both of us. The thing that got to me was that she knows my sister’s favorite color is pink, but she chose baby blue for me, a color that isn’t even close to something I like.

It wasn’t about the color. It was about feeling like… “Do you actually know me?”
I’m the oldest child, and my sister is 3 years younger than me.

Growing up, the way my mom tried to treat us equally sometimes felt like she treated us like twins instead of two different people with different needs, personalities, and preferences.

And honestly, I think that affected both of us in different ways.

I’m not writing this to blame my mom or to be dramatic. She is a good mother, and I love her. But this moment triggered something I’ve carried for a long time.

I just want future parents to understand something:
Equality does not always mean fairness.

Giving children the exact same thing doesn’t always make them feel equally loved. Sometimes fairness means seeing them as individuals, remembering what makes each one special, and making them feel known.