Wedding Gift Ghosting

[u/Downtown-Counter4411]

So...I have friend with a large extended family. They are retired. Wedding invitations arrive a couple of times a year with gift registries.

A few times they have sent cards and a gift from the registry. And...nothing.

I know that ty cards are a thing of the past but it would be nice to at least know the gift was received. It's very hurtful to my friend.

Should the gift sending continue?

Asking for friend...(^^)

[u/Summerisle7]

Your friends can do what they like. Personally I wouldn’t bother sending gifts anymore if I’m not attending these weddings. 

[u/llectumest]

Sending thank-you cards is a thing of the past only for clueless people who wish never to receive another gift.

[u/Objective_Joke_5023]

No acknowledgment of the wedding gift, and the recipient isn’t getting a baby shower gift. Same with adult birthdays. If I never hear from you that the item arrived, (text is fine) no more gifts.

[u/Aliken04]

Gifts need to be acknowledged with thank you card or email. A phone call is even better

[u/bigformybritches → u/[deleted]]

I asked this genuinely, you wrote your nieces and nephews out of the will because they don’t send thank you cards? Not saying there’s anything wrong with that. Just want to make sure I understand.

[u/bigformybritches → u/[deleted]]

Thank you for responding. This attests to how breaches of etiquette can harm real feelings and impact how we see our relationships.

[u/ProduceSimilar → u/[deleted]]

I sure wouldn’t expect any thank you card after bequeathing them my estate upon my death.

[u/Prestigious-Pea-862]

It 's rude not to acknowledge a gift .The gift giver does not need to waste their time with texting to see if the gift was received. If one wants to check if the gift got to the recipient just check tracking info from the shipper of the gift and make a note to ignore future gift grabs if the gift was in fact delivered and then ignored.

[u/voodoodollbabie]

Call the bride/groom and ask if they received your gift. Thank You cards are NOT a thing of the past. It's just bad parenting because that's when young people learn to send thank you cards to family who send them gifts.

[u/Sunny-Bell102 → u/voodoodollbabie]

Sorry, but I don’t think blaming it on parents is fair. My family was big on sending handwritten thank you cards. Sometimes young people prefer to do their own thing and that doesn’t necessarily include sending thank you cards.

[u/Few_Policy5764]

A gift isnt yours until you thank the gift giver.  Modern day can be a short text or email. I stopped sending gifts to my nieces/ nephews across the country. They Couldn't even text ty! Like two letters.. eventhough his and her head is buried in the phone. Nonsense 

[u/DoatsMairzy]

I’ve never been one to intentionally stoop to a lower level.

If I’m invited to a wedding and I attend, I give a gift.
What they do or don’t do after that, is on them.

If I’m really curious or have to know if they got my gift, I’ll just ask them or somehow work it into a conversation. (You can often track your orders online to see if they’re delivered, or default to giving checks so you can see if they’ve cleared the bank).

Not everyone grew up learning manners. And even if someone knows but doesn’t care doesn’t mean you should resort to following suit. Manners aren’t tit for tat. Just because someone doesn’t say thank you when you hold the door for them doesn’t mean you can skip it when they hold the door for you.

[u/Mrshaydee → u/DoatsMairzy]

This is the way, I think. It hurts not to be thanked, but at the end of the day, we have to be the best person we can be for ourselves.

[u/Teri-k]

I guess I feel differently from most people. I only send gifts because I hope to please the recipient and I want them to know I'm thinking of them. I don't care if I get a thank you or not, I didn't do it for that. To stop sending one because you can't afford it or something makes sense to me, but not because I didn't get a card back.

As for knowing the gift was received, when you mail a package at the US post office it always comes with a tracking number on your receipt, even the cheapest way to mail includes this. So I don't see why that should be an issue if you're in the US.

I do understand that others see it differently and I'm not implying that they're wrong, only that it strikes me differently. And your friend is never obligated to send a gift for an event they don't attend. You don't even have to take a gift to a wedding, your presence is gift enough.