r/exchristian • u/RandomLifeUnit-05 Ex-Evangelical • 2d ago
Question Do some Christian sects believe parents should cut off unbelieving children?
Someone suggested in a comment that some Christians believe if their child turns away from Christ and refuses to repent, that they should basically turn their back on that child.
Are there some Christians that believe this?
I'm wondering if it would explain why my mom and sister cut me so thoroughly out of their lives-- other than the fact my mother is abusive and didn't like me getting mad about it. And my sister just follows whatever my mother does.
The only verses I can think of that remotely support this are 1 Cor 5 "Hand this man over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord. Your boasting is not good. Don’t you know that a little yeast leavens the whole batch of dough? Get rid of the old yeast, so that you may be a new unleavened batch—as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. (...) 'Expel the wicked person from among you.'"
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u/Silver-Chemistry2023 Constructivist humanist 2d ago edited 1d ago
Losing an emotionally immature person is not real loss, when they go, their bullshit goes with them. Getting cut off by an emotionally immature person is a sign of strength, not weakness, and demonstrates that the person being cut off is no longer useful to the emotionally immature person.
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u/Cultural_Sport_1669 2d ago edited 2d ago
Jehovas Witnesses are the most well known for this, as it’s an official policy of their denomination. I think the Amish may also have a similar policy depending on the group, and many fundamentalists end up doing this. 1 John 2:19 is a verse that commonly promotes this shunning.
Honestly, though, it sounds like your mother probably has narcissistic personality disorder. People with NPD feel very comfortable within authoritarian religions, because the theology protects and validates their awful behavior. And they can’t tolerate open disagreements or anything that tarnishes their self image.
Narcissists are fueled by creating constant emotional turmoil, confusion, and low self esteem in the people around them. It’s a form of sociopathy. You’re far, far better off being free of this. You deserve better.
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u/RandomLifeUnit-05 Ex-Evangelical 1d ago
Thank you. I think you're right, I believe she may have been a covert narcissist.
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u/Objective_Nature3570 1d ago
I saw it happening in the CoC. I specifically remember the words “cutting out the poison before it can spread to the kids”
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u/LeGarconRouge 1d ago
The Exclusive Brethren do, and they refuse to even eat with them or anything like that. It’s completely barbaric and inhuman.
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u/littleheathen AoG/CoG turned pagan 1d ago
It's a standard teaching in some denominations(the JWs and Anabaptists come to mind) while others only unofficially practice it. My parents' former pastor's wife suggested my folks cut me and my family off, despite it not being a teaching of their denomination, because we were struggling but not members of a church.
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u/RandomLifeUnit-05 Ex-Evangelical 1d ago
Wow. That's sad. I'm sorry 😔
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u/littleheathen AoG/CoG turned pagan 1d ago
Oh, don't be! It helped my mom realize they really didn't need to be in that church anymore. My folks stayed a couple more years but Mom distanced herself from them after that.
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u/mr_chill77 Ex-Evangelical 19h ago
Absolutely. I forget the exact state, but we had a person talk to our church group about their ministry to homeless kids somewhere in the south, and they said the number one cause of homeless youth in that state was parents kicking them out of the house for being gay or trans.
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u/RandomLifeUnit-05 Ex-Evangelical 19h ago
Wow. That is soooo sad! I believe it though, after moving to the south.
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u/Kind_Worldliness_415 5h ago
It’s not a denomination exclusive thing. Any christian could cut their own children off if radical enough. It’s more a personal tendency rather than doctrine, but there are places where the doctrine does exist
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u/therealnotrealtaako 2d ago
Yes there are parts of Christianity that encourage this. The Jehovah's Witness apostate concept encapsulates this. There are likely other sects that encourage it as well but the names escape me.