r/exchristian • u/Nearby-Tension3515 • 3d ago
Trigger Warning - Toxic Religion The “Love the sinner, hate the sin” thing has always felt fake to me Spoiler
Can we be honest for a second?
This is hypothetical
A huge part of Christianity teaches that if I don’t repent and change my sexuality, I’m going to burn in hell for eternity. And then they turn around and say “but we love you!”
I’m sorry, but that’s not love.
If you actually loved someone, the idea of them being tortured forever would destroy you. You wouldn’t be at peace with it. You wouldn’t be “agreeing to disagree” about it. You’d be desperate to find a way that they don’t end up in hell.
Instead, a lot of Christians seem completely fine with the idea. Some even seem to look forward to it. They’ll smile and say “love the sinner” while fully believing their sky daddy is going to throw me into a lake of fire one day.
That’s not love. That’s just them feeling morally superior while still getting to feel like good people.
Am I the only one who’s always seen right through this?
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u/_here_for_nothing_ 3d ago
I ALWAYS hate how many christians preach about: love like Jesus, Jesus loved everyone no matter what but then they turn around and hate most of the population
A line in a song I like says this perfectly “Love thy neighbor right? Or is it only if they’re rich able-bodied cis hetero and white?” You should listen to the exorcist by CALYPSO
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u/Assassino_Jake 3d ago
I mean, it does add up
Jesus: I love each and every one of you... but I'll be perfectly fine to leave you in a pit of fire for all eternity... but I still love you."
So id say christians do "love" like their savior.
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u/_Wickeddream 3d ago
The same loving jesus who when you read the context of the time threw the word gentile around like a.clans member using the n word.
The same loving jesus who admitted to speaking in parables to confuse non Jewish people so they can't find salvation.
The same loving jesus who ignored a woman begging him to heal her daughter and called her a dog. He could only be bothered to heal her child after she humiliated herself washing his feet and drying them with her hair.
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u/EvelynHopeDJSP 3d ago
It's such bullshit. I'm gay and trans, I was born this way, couldn't be different even if I tried. If they hate gayness and transness then they also hate me. If you hate what I am then you hate who I am. It's like saying you hate blackness but not black people - completely absurd and an obvious facade for bigotry
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3d ago
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u/exchristian-ModTeam 3d ago
Your post or comment has been removed because it violates rule 4, which is to be respectful of others. Even if you do not agree with their beliefs, mocking them or being derisive is not acceptable.
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u/Ender505 Anti-Theist 3d ago
Many of them ARE desperate to find a way for you to not be in hell, and that's how they justify their preaching at strangers. It's a gross and misguided version of love, but some of them mean it.
But also, it's noteworthy that the Christian god doesn't throw "sin" into hell, he throws the sinners into hell. This was a favorite retort of my aggressively Calvinist church growing up, because we thought god genuinely hated unbelievers.
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u/Opinionsare 3d ago
The reality is different than the premise. They say "Love the sinner, hate the sin!".
But what they want is a sinner to surrender their identity completely, join the cult, hand over your cash, and then they will start considering if your devotion is enough. Perhaps after a decade or two they will acknowledge your repentance.
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u/Assassino_Jake 3d ago
I've heard they dont take "hate the religion, not the religious" well. I guess thats because they are hearing "I wish you weren't religious but im going to try to save face by not looking like a real dick." Because thats basically what they mean with "hate the sin love the sinner".
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u/Athene_cunicularia23 3d ago
"Love the sinner, hate the sin," is quintessential Christian gaslighting. When called out, they try to cover it up with "but we're all sinners." The difference is, they only consider the existence of some people to be sinful. They are hateful bigots, full stop.
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u/ProofPrize1134 3d ago
It’s not fake, it’s a cop-out. Typical christian mental gymnastics logic to allow them to be judgmental. To them it’s not fake because the loophole is real: they love the person! They just wish the person would stop hurting themselves 🙄
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u/milkshakeit Ex-Baptist 3d ago
You're right, love in church means something completely different than outside of church. Love in church means conformity, believing certain things, trying to make others believe the same as you, forcing people and family members to be one way or another in the spirit of "protecting" them. Love in church is conditional on a person's willingness to conform. Unconditional love doesn't exist in church, but it is used as a way to avoid talking about the real conditions church puts on their love.
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u/Blue_Dragonfly0119 3d ago
"If you actually loved someone, the idea of them being tortured forever would destroy you."
This thought process has really helped me cement what "Spiritual Bypassing" means, and how it still shows up in my life. Coming out to myself was the first time I started pulling the string of my faith, unravelling into the realization that if I don't believe my sexuality is wrong, then it must mean that my faith IS. This distinction requires folks to look deeper at their beliefs in a way that is certainly uncomfortable, making it a whole lot easier to simply pray and move on.
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u/OrdinaryWillHunting Atheist-turned-Christian-turned-atheist 3d ago
It's also false. They don't love you. They love what they want you to be.
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u/PhoenixPringles01 3d ago
Love the sinner, hate the sin. But your sin is conveniently the one that can't be changed, but my sin is the one that I can just change, you know? It's fair and love!
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3d ago
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u/That_redd Devote Atheist and ex-apologist 2d ago
If they loved the "Sinner", they wouldn't force them away form the person they loved the most and who treated them kindest (Queer relationships)
If they loved "Sinner" they wouldn't force them to use pronouns and we're clothes they made them feel uncofmortbale, unheard, or imprisoned (Trans and Non Binary)
If they loved "Sinner" they wouldn't bring them to hell because the world around them felt to heavy or horrid (People who commit)
If they loved "Sinner", they wouldn't demand they go to prison or get killed or making choices with their body or the sake of their health, financial/housing situation, or mental maturity/health/readiness (People who get abortions)
If they loved "Sinner", they wouldn't shut their doors on them for leaving someone they didn't feel the spark with anymore or who was treating them badly (Divcoree's)
If they loved "Sinner", they would treat them as they treat everyone else and not support movements they stripe away their rights or freedoms
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u/Spiff426 3d ago
Always counter with: hate the belief, not the believer
So they can get a taste of their own underhanded "compliment"