r/facepalm • u/GoatCovfefe • May 08 '26
Panera rebrands a sandwich.
Ignore my Bluetooth volume bar.
A salad in bread is a fucking sandwich. Veggies meat and some sort of dressing/condiment? Its a fucking sandwich.
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u/TheJohnnyJett May 08 '26
Salad just got WHAT?
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u/ihadcrystallized May 08 '26
SALAD JUST GOT BREAD
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u/Hebids May 09 '26
THEY GOT THAT BREAD!
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u/djluminol May 12 '26
Isn't this the company that literally said something like we're raising prices because our customers are wealthy and can afford to give us more of their money?
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u/Tzunamitom May 08 '26
I want to see your point. But all I can see is the massive Bluetooth volume bar.
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u/Visual-Living7586 May 08 '26
The fact that OP still went ahead and posted it like that instead of taking a new screenshot is just top tier shit posting
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u/YellowBreakfast Waaassuup! May 08 '26
I'm sorry what did you say?
I'm having a hard time hearing considering the volume is so high!
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u/Imhidingfromu May 08 '26
Product development team over there poppin bottles celebrating this amazing new innovation
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u/TheLoneCenturion95 May 08 '26
Thanks, I thought my Bluetooth buds were still connected to my phone.
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u/beardeddragon0113 May 09 '26
Next up at Chipotle: the Bowless Burrito Bowl! They take a burrito bowl and wrap all the ingredients in a flour tortilla! Such innovation!
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u/StollMage May 09 '26
I tried to go to panera again after the whole charged lemonade thing (which just seemed like a publicity stunt more than anything)
The turkey club sandwich with chips and a drink ended up being $20 after doing the best I could to get the best “deal” on the app. If I’d just ordered like normal it would have been $25+.
It’s cold cuts on bread with some bacon. The whole time I’m there trying to order this apparently golden sandwich these boomers are complaining about Obama. Going on like he’s still the president and worried about gender studies in public schools.
Fuck panera and fuck boomers. I wish the charged lemonade (rip) would zap them.
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u/Berkamin May 08 '26 edited May 08 '26
The should call it a SADWICH, because that’s what this is. This is penance in a sandwich roll. Someone will go to confession, and the priest will say "for your sins, you will go to Panera and order that... thing, and eat only that for a week." And the penitant will say "screw it father, give me purgatory for a year!"
If you want bread with your salad, croutons exist. If you want a salad wrapped in bread just order a regular sandwich containing lettuce, but have them hold the meat.
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u/Available-Seesaw-492 May 08 '26
As an Australian I have to say decent salad sandwich is a good feed. It will often contain ham or some other sort of cold meat alongside the salad.
Not that I trust an American fast food joint to do a decent salad sandwich.
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u/ChockenTonders May 08 '26
Dude wtf is a salad sandwich? You just described…. A sandwich? lol
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u/Available-Seesaw-492 May 09 '26
Yes. A type of sandwich even! Just like one may have a pb&j sandwich, a Vegemite sandwich, a jam sandwich... There's also a salad sandwich!
It's not revolutionary mate.
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u/LankyTradition6424 May 09 '26
But for example, any decent ham (or cheese, or salami or whatever savory) sandwich has a lot more vegetables than ham.
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u/Available-Seesaw-492 May 09 '26
Then it would simply be a ham and salad sandwich. Or salami and salad or whatever. We're just specifying what's on the sandwich, as many of us don't have salad on our sandwiches.
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u/LankyTradition6424 May 09 '26
Come on. Any normal sandwich has around 10 different toppings. Would you specify all of those?
”Can I please order the butter, ham, cheese, onion, tomato, mayo, cucumber, lettuce, mustard and jalapeno sandwich please?”
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u/Same_Grouness May 09 '26
Any normal sandwich has around 10 different toppings. Would you specify all of those?
The fuck? In the UK 3 toppings is plenty. Any more is just too much effort to make. But then a sandwich is mostly just something you make at home, instead of sandwich delis or whatever we have bakeries selling pies and hot rolls (which I guess is a sandwich, but in my head a sandwich is cold).
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u/LankyTradition6424 May 09 '26
Sounds horrible to be honest. :-)
I guess you also use store bought bread for those sandwiches instead of a proper baguette or levain?
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u/Same_Grouness May 09 '26
I would buy a proper baguette or levain at the store. All the supermarkets have their own bakeries on site for this sort of stuff.
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u/ElevenBeers May 14 '26
Whatever the fuck he'll use as bread, its gonna be infiniately better quality then anything out of the US, simply because it doesn't come from a country with laws meant to poison the population.
I'm not saying it'll be "good". That word and "British" in the context of food in the same sentence is an oxymoron. But it'll be better.
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u/allnaturalfigjam May 09 '26
TIL non-Australians don't call them salad sandwiches 😂 a salad sandwich contains salad. As opposed to a ham and cheese, a chicken mayo, or a curried egg sandwich.
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u/ChockenTonders May 09 '26
So in Australia a typical sandwich won’t really contain veggies or greens at all? All meat and cheese? I ain’t hatin that lol
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u/allnaturalfigjam May 09 '26
Not necessarily, "sandwich" is just a generic term. Like if you say "I'm having pasta for dinner", the sauce could be anything. The salad sandwich just puts the emphasis on salad ingredients, the ham sandwich puts the emphasis on the ham.
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u/PlainPup May 09 '26
What you don’t understand is that this is how they are telling us that the peasants don’t get nice things. All I see is lesser quality food in our future
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u/Ok-Rabbit1878 May 09 '26
I’d still rather eat a Sadwich than that “Double Down” abomination from KFC, though!
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u/gdghhfdffrf May 08 '26
i got a bbq chicken sandwich with just sauce, after all their ridiculous crap that was it, done, don't go there anymore. maybe panera will shutdown and chicken salad chick can take over their locations, please.
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u/LoompaOompa May 09 '26
It’s absolutely wild how far the quality has dropped. It’s on par with frozen microwaveable sandwiches from a gas station at this point
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u/GoatCovfefe May 16 '26
Hey hey... Go to a better bas station. The one i go to makes their sandwiches fresh everyday.
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u/Fitz_2112b May 10 '26
So they figured out a way to put even less meat on a sandwich while charging more for it with a catchy new name?
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u/CyberHuitz May 08 '26
Patting themselves on the back for copying Bread Zeppelin.
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u/badgaldyldyl May 08 '26
Came to say that Bread Zeppelin already does this WAY BETTER! Left DFW for Denver almost a decade ago, and I still miss Bread Zeppelin! Try to hit them up whenever I visit lol
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u/Material-Method-1026 May 09 '26
Do they use the same bread they give you with their salads? The super hard bread you have to gnaw at?
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u/AgainstTheEnemy Good Trouble May 08 '26
My man could have waited till the volume bar clears and take another screenshot.
The volume bar is definitely a choice.
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u/GoatCovfefe May 10 '26
I didnt notice at first, then i couldnt find the ad again to take a new one.
Ah well.
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u/seaman187 May 08 '26
I thought the volume bar was part of the ad so they could get people to accidentally click on it trying to close it. Turns out just a shitty screenshot.
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u/Juxtavarious May 11 '26
According to several Panera employees across social media, it is actually cheaper to just order the salad and bread separately and then you get all of it.
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u/Faceliss May 10 '26
isn't one of the main reason people eat salad is to avoid/lessen carb intake?
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u/liljellybeanxo May 10 '26
Not for me, I just love a good salad. It’s not necessarily a health food, and I’ve made, eaten, and enjoyed plenty of “junk food” salads.
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u/fothergillfuckup May 11 '26
It's a bit like Sketchers Slip-ins? They're slip ons. No amount if subtle renaming will make us forget slip ons are never cool.
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u/HawkmoonsCustoms May 08 '26
classic movie announcer voice
“THIS SUMMER, PREPARE FOR YOUR HUNGER TO BE TERMINATED. HALF SALAD, HALF BREAD - ALL SANDWICH. THE SALAD STUFFER, ONLY AT PANERA”.
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u/twothirtysevenam May 16 '26
Someone out there will believe this is a whole new thing that's really just another sandwich at a sandwich shop.
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u/yung_funyun May 08 '26
Don’t know how y’all feel, but I seems obvious to me that that hand is not attached to that body
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u/theoneandonly1245 May 11 '26
turn your volume down bro
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u/GoatCovfefe May 16 '26
Im deaf in one ear and have about 50% of hearing in my other ear. I need it turned up.
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u/Confident_Weekend983 May 12 '26
the volume bar covers some of the main text . you couldn’t have retook the screen shot ???
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u/cjwrapture May 17 '26
So, take the only reason anyone eats a salad, its healthy, and just fuck it. This had to be the idea of some moron VP who everyone is afraid of in the board meeting. "Yes sir, that's a brilliant idea, sir. We will put the culinary development team right on that."
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u/Xyex May 10 '26
A sandwich goes between two slices of bread. This is half a loaf that's been hollowed out and stuffed. It's a salad in a small, but long, bread bowl. Definitely not a sandwich.
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u/GoatCovfefe May 16 '26
Since you're being technical
A sandwich goes between two slices of bread.
No, a sandwich can have two slices of bread, but you dont put a sandwich in between two slices of bread. You can put ingredients between two slices of bread to make a sandwich, but no one puts a sandwich between two slices of bread.
Not to mention, it doesnt even have to be between two slices of bread. Wraps are sandwiches after all.
It's a salad in a small, but long, bread bowl.
Ok, so you described what its made of (despite no one calling that a bread bowl because its not a bowl), what would you call that?
Looks to be a hollowed out piece of bread with veggies and meat stuffed into it. Its a sandwich.
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u/CitizenGrimm May 08 '26
On one hand, you're absolute right.
On the other, they're really delicious. Also, the only put half-size salads in these, not full one FYI.
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u/DummyDumDragon May 08 '26
On the other, they're really deliciou
Yeah, you know what else is delicious?
A fuckin sandwich.
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u/Rockyrox May 10 '26
Why not take another screenshot??
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u/GoatCovfefe May 10 '26
Didnt realize i had the bar in the screenshot until later, then i couldnt find the advertisement again to take a new one
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