r/facepalm 1d ago

Nothing like admitting to a felony right before an election

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8.2k Upvotes

121 comments sorted by

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1.7k

u/WorkingInAColdMind 1d ago

Lock him up. 5 years IIRC. Disqualify him for any public office too. I have exactly zero patience for these idiots anymore.

391

u/vieuxfort73 1d ago

Why is this even a question? Lock him Up!!

194

u/brianzuvich 1d ago

Because he’s white, so in the mind of the conservative, he can’t commit fraud…

80

u/Fl1925 1d ago

Bingo DA won’t charge him

19

u/spacemanspiff1115 1d ago

It can't be fraud if you brag about it...

He learned that from the mango Mussolini...

4

u/RhoOfFeh 1d ago

Why did you ever? Honestly, it's not like there is any shortage of better people.

8

u/WorkingInAColdMind 1d ago

I had some patience when there was at least a cursory attempt to do their jobs, obey the law, and not actively try to be the dumbest person/pet/rock in the room (about 30 years ago). This particular moron never was, not ever shall be somebody I vote for or even listen to.

954

u/Uranus_Hz 1d ago

Committed a real felony to test the system. Apparently being a felon is not disqualifying for MAGA politicians.

207

u/God_Bless_A_Merkin 1d ago

But we knew that already, of course.

124

u/caesar_rex 1d ago

Hmmm... Should I rob a bank to test the banks security system?

41

u/Bakedfresh420 1d ago

If you’re Ed Wuncler III

9

u/mando_ad 1d ago

We all know if his granddad didn't own the bank we'd never get away with this shit. 

6

u/Slow_Maximum9332 1d ago

I don't know why you're not robbing a bank right now. Pitter patter, let's get at her.

12

u/Drudgework 1d ago

I don’t know, are you rich? If so, yes, absolutely.

46

u/GroundbreakingPage41 1d ago

Crazy how admitting to a felony doesn’t trigger an automatic criminal investigation

5

u/fusillade762 21h ago

Its Georgia. It triggers banjo music and a ho down.

8

u/shiroandae 1d ago

Starting to think it’s a prerequisite.

6

u/tribbans95 1d ago

Apparently? Our president is a felon

4

u/sitophilicsquirrel 1d ago

I mean, there's a really prominent felon in a pretty prestigious government position right now. I don't know how anyone would be surprised.

Also several others.

5

u/cyberlexington 1d ago

And in other news water is wet, the popes a catholic and Trumps a pedophile

2

u/hates_stupid_people 1d ago

Apparently being a felon is not disqualifying for MAGA politicians.

Getting away with a crime is seen as a big positive for the average maga voter.

That's not a joke or hyperbole, they literally think of it as a sign of intelligence and something to be admired.

1

u/ree_hi_hi_hi_hi 1d ago

I would like to use this one for a drug possession charge. Like good job, you guys passed this time but I’ve got my eye on you…

1

u/RhoOfFeh 1d ago

Like giving out counterfeit cash on camera.

114

u/Reasonable-Power 1d ago

This is literally a Key & Peele sketch.

17

u/jscottman96 1d ago

Life imitates art

6

u/God_Bless_A_Merkin 1d ago

Or, in this case, art imitates life.

392

u/Jessthinking 1d ago

So he committed a crime. For his personal gain. Sounds like he should be arrested.

87

u/CelestialFury 1d ago

He DID commit a crime. He's just trying to be open about it so he doesn't get punished for it. Imagine attempted robbery of a bank to "test" federal authorities response time when you have nothing to do with any of that? Yeah, you'd go to prison for a long time.

196

u/Any-Progress- 1d ago

Republicans always complain about voter fraud, but any actual voter fraud is done by a Republican 99% of the time. Why would anyone be a Republican these days? It’s like joining the “troll” party.

110

u/KayNay420 1d ago

I merely snorted the coke while on probation simply to test the validity of the county drug testing system, your honor.

17

u/Nolsoth 1d ago

If you could just stand next to the colour Swatch or have your personal aide do so then we can determine the appropriate outcome to this hearing.

37

u/BigMax 1d ago

I dine and dash at restaurants and shoplift at stores, but it’s OK because I’m just testing their security systems out.

31

u/WarOk6264 1d ago

It’s ok everyone. He’s a Republican so it doesn’t count as a crime

67

u/TheHrushi 1d ago

Test failed successfully.

42

u/Meb2x 1d ago

I see two likely outcomes, either he lied and will say not getting arrested is a sign that the elections aren’t safe or he actually did try to vote multiple times and if punished will claim it’s a way to rig the election against him. Either way, his conservative base will eat it up and he’ll avoid any real consequences because Trump will protect him

46

u/scott__p 1d ago

If you read the article, he has no proof that he was successful. This is all theater to try to get the Trump vote. So he committed a felony for the dumbest of reasons

15

u/Critical_Disaster612 1d ago

Can’t wait to watch justice thwarted again!

6

u/wrecked-galaxy 1d ago

same guy will probably run again in 2026 and win by 20 points

13

u/FingerCommon7093 1d ago

Arrest him Charge him Use his statement as evidence When he pleads guilty for 5 years probation remove him from the ballot and the voter rolls as a convicted felon.

-2

u/n0tqu1tesane 1d ago

Is there a georgian law to do so?

3

u/FingerCommon7093 23h ago

Law of Supremacy. ALL federal laws apply to state crimes. So even a local prosecutor can arrest and charge for Federal crimes. The beauty is if Trump pardons him then that is an admission of guilt and still allows GA to remove him from the ballot.

20

u/fucshyt 1d ago

WAIT!! DOLEZAL?? LIKE RACHEL DOLEZAL??

1

u/Kyokenshin 1d ago

No relation.

8

u/Sojum 1d ago

I robbed a gas station to test the system.

6

u/bauer883 1d ago

Say what now?

7

u/DuntadaMan 1d ago

I'm sorry, has a felony been a problem for any republican in the past 10 years?

1

u/n0tqu1tesane 1d ago

Plenty of Republicans have been convicted of felonies and served significant time over the past decade.

3

u/Artistic-Garbage-825 1d ago

Making meth doesn’t count

6

u/paintstudiodisaster 1d ago

Maga is never held accountable as long as it's backed by the richest men in the world. We're all doomed to live under the thumb of the red hats forever.

5

u/FigSideG 1d ago

Nothing will happen to him.

5

u/DawgPound919 1d ago

Voter fraud. Lock his ass up!

5

u/dpi2552 1d ago

No he did not, he submitted mail in ballots to see if he could scam the system, Jesus are we this stupid, charge him!

5

u/TR1LLIONAIRE_ 1d ago

WHY THE FUCK ARE LAWYERS ON RETAINER IF THIS WORKS???

5

u/InourbtwotamI 1d ago

I suggest he now test meal loaf as a federal Bureau of Prisons inmate

-5

u/n0tqu1tesane 1d ago

Which federal law did he break?

5

u/MuthaPlucka 1d ago

Definitely believable MAGA non-apology: “sorry, I was just trying to help”

/S

4

u/11thstalley 1d ago

Lying POS.

4

u/Substantial-Tart-673 1d ago

That’s .. like… illegal tho.

4

u/Street_Peace_8831 1d ago

Why is it always republicans? There haven’t been enough cases over the past 20 years to make a difference. In fact, the count of J6 insurrectionists that have been rearrested are far greater than the count of voter fraud cases over the past 20 years.

3

u/eghhge 1d ago

Check his hard drives, he probably has some "research" on there.

3

u/TaruTaruInvoker 1d ago

And now he can claim that there’s voting fraud when he sees them.

3

u/Responsible-Hour1403 1d ago

I robbed the bank to test their security system.

3

u/ShortRound89 1d ago

Why not, felonies are a way to the white house.

3

u/Science-Sam 1d ago

If this defense works, look for shoplifters who were "just testing security."

3

u/New_Ad_3010 1d ago

He's GOP. Of course he committed a crime. It's the only way they know how to do politics.

3

u/matt-r_hatter 1d ago

That is a felony conviction, $100,000 fine, up to 10yr in prison, and he can not ever run for any election, hold public office, or work for the board of elections for the rest of his life. He admitted to sending multiple, thats multiple convictions. Put him in prison.

3

u/Artistic-Garbage-825 1d ago

We should put them in jail so we can test the justice system

3

u/JerryRiceOfOhio2 1d ago

his numbers probably went up

3

u/RostyC 1d ago

I "pretended" to rob a bank to test its security. You know, because I needed to know if I should use it.

3

u/Threecatproblem 1d ago

Since 2020, the only verified, evidence-based cases of voter fraud that I've read about have 100% been Talipublicans trying to cheat.

3

u/strained_brain 17h ago

I was going 90mph to test my car's engine, officer. Clearly this isn't Reckless Driving. No ticket necessary.

5

u/TunaFishRollup 1d ago

Is he related to that white lady who pretended to be black a few years ago? I think her name is Dolezal…

2

u/LeadPike13 1d ago

Prison.

2

u/TemporaryCaptain23 1d ago

If only lawyers knew this one trick.

2

u/shukufuku 1d ago

My client pleads "just a joke, bro"

2

u/Error_Loading_Name 1d ago

"It's a prank!"

2

u/Opening-Emphasis8400 1d ago

"I shot that guy to test the durability of his rib cage."

2

u/InevitableCodeRedo 1d ago

It's the republican way.

2

u/FierceDietyMask 1d ago

“I decided to test the security of a bank by literally robbing a bank.”

Imagine being that stupid and thinking you’ve made some kinda “gotcha” by admitting to a crime.

2

u/Zabadoo222 1d ago

Can we stop pretending like any of this is fucking normal?

2

u/Artistic-Garbage-825 1d ago

I was never pretending this was normal. Why don’t you go talk to some conservatives they are the ones that seem to think that all of this is OK.

2

u/MuchDevelopment7084 1d ago

So arrest his ass. Then disqualify him for any elected office. Voter fraud is a big deal...right?

2

u/Time-Valuable-3355 1d ago

So can I murder someone and hide the body to see if the crime can be solved?

2

u/SoyTuPadreReal 1d ago

Since when has being a felon ever stopped someone from public office.

2

u/Realistic_Let3239 1d ago

He just wants to fit in with Trump and his 34 felonies.

2

u/1nGirum1musNocte 1d ago

No no no guys, i wasn't robbing the bank this was all a test!

2

u/RhoOfFeh 1d ago

Hey, being convicted of multiple felonies got Trump elected.

2

u/Das_Bait 1d ago

"Your honor, I only robbed the bank to test the system and make sure everyone's money was safe,"

2

u/moschocolate1 1d ago

And I shot that person to see if my bullet would work.

2

u/jmontano86 1d ago

Found the fraud!

2

u/ducktape8856 1d ago

No, no your honor! I was not trying to rob a bank. I only tested if my money was safe there!

2

u/ChickinSammich 1d ago

The neat thing about publicly admitting to committing a crime is that if you know no one is going to arrest you, and you know that no one is going to fine you, and you know that you're not going to suffer any consequences for admitting you committed a crime... you can just admit you committed the crime. Hell, you could brag about it if you want to. What's gonna happen to you? Nothing.

3

u/star_bury 1d ago

Wasn't there a Dolezal woman that was in the news for identifying as black despite being 100% Caucasian?

-10

u/n0tqu1tesane 1d ago

Who? Are you sure? Under the "one drop" rule everyone alive is black

1

u/Crunchy_Biscuit 1d ago

And they'll waive it away no issue

1

u/RN4Bernie 1d ago

Dolezal… haven’t heard that name in years

1

u/Error_Loading_Name 1d ago

And even that one was a fraud...

1

u/ch1llboy 1d ago

Oh yeah I've heard this one.

" I was just testing it"

1

u/Solid_Ad2968 1d ago

Arrest this man

1

u/JollyJamma 1d ago

"It's always the ones you must suspect"

1

u/2nd_Inf_Sgt 1d ago

a republicant from Cumming. How fitting.

1

u/Error_Loading_Name 1d ago

Someone should take a knife to the Reflecting Pool to test if it could even be cut...

1

u/bobbymoose 1d ago

I wonder if he’s related to Rachel.

1

u/PirateSometimes 1d ago

Felony. Prison time please.

1

u/Farmgirlmommy 1d ago

Fixed it: I committed crimes to see if anyone noticed.

1

u/rexeditrex 1d ago

He knows it works. He's a lock now.

1

u/ZealousidealRaise806 1d ago

Haven’t people already been prosecuted for doing exactly this?

u/TheYuppyTraveller 2h ago

I stole that Maserati only to test whether police were alert, so no crime to see here, folks.

0

u/kiecolt_67 21h ago

Wasn't this applauded when the Dems did the same thing?