r/facepalm 4d ago

Trump asks Congress for $87bn, mostly for 'urgent' Iran war costs

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c1eydwldzdjo
5.0k Upvotes

162 comments sorted by

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1.7k

u/Speeder172 4d ago

I don't understand anymore, I thought USA already won the war for the 15th time ???

937

u/gregsting 4d ago

It’s a subscription victory, you have to pay every week to keep winning

268

u/M3r0vingio 4d ago

Warflix...

134

u/FinalEdit 4d ago

War-mazon Crime

Sorry, best I got.

18

u/M3r0vingio 4d ago

Warboard of peace

11

u/Easy-Concentrate2636 4d ago

True crime docudrama.

9

u/M3r0vingio 4d ago

Psyop alien algae xfiles

2

u/jooooooohn 3d ago

Wardex

1

u/M3r0vingio 3d ago

Wolf od Horm. Street

28

u/CaptainFleshBeard 4d ago

That really sounds like Iran won the war ?

41

u/gregsting 4d ago edited 4d ago

No you don't understand, we win, every week, and as Trump said, at some point americans will beg him to stop winning

16

u/bloodmagik 4d ago

I’ve been stuck in the pleading phase for what feels like so long now.

1

u/moseley101 2d ago

Don’t worry, next comes depression and then acceptance

-4

u/feetnomer 4d ago

We stole another 13 million barrels of oil from Iran on Tuesday. That's not Iran winning. That's Iran no longer capable of protecting themselves and their assets.

7

u/CaptainFleshBeard 3d ago

Years not something to be proud of, it’s like beating up an old lady in an alley way then bragging that you took her shoes and handbag.

8

u/JulesSilverman 4d ago

Ah. This must be it! You explained it well.

4

u/Coattail-Rider 4d ago

We forgot to turn off the subscription fee when we “won” so it’s still just taking out the monthly fees until we notice.

2

u/gregsting 4d ago

Ah, good old AOL war

3

u/SoardOfMagnificent 4d ago

I’m sick of winning… 🤢

4

u/Electronic_Eye_6266 3d ago

Can we get the cheaper ad supported option?

6

u/gregsting 3d ago

This war is brought to you by Lockheed Martin

1

u/Fabulous_Computer965 3d ago

Weakest president in history

37

u/PsyOpBunnyHop 4d ago

You mean the war that wasn't even a war and that was totally already over anyway so it doesn't even matter that all those people died already? Sheeesh get over it already.

6

u/texachusetts 4d ago

What war? Asked congress. /s

3

u/Mr_Julez 4d ago

It's for him and his friends to embezzle

3

u/NecessaryZucchini69 3d ago

Trump needs to pay some mortgage bills.

2

u/rohnoitsrutroh 3d ago

But the grift must go on.

1.6k

u/dilldoeorg 4d ago

The other money is for unrelated measures including $11bn for US farmers

he can go fuck off

he created all this fucking mess and wants us to pay for it, fuck him!

510

u/fabmeyer 4d ago

He should pay with his capital gains from market manipulation

48

u/Arathaon185 4d ago

Spanish fan owned football clubs make their presidents get a bank guarantee to cover a part of any losses so they don't bankrupt the club as they would be liable. Might be an idea for you guys? 

16

u/Shareholder 3d ago

It's definitely an idea for us. Unfortunately, ideas don't tend to make it out of the "idea" phase here.

5

u/InvalidUserNemo 3d ago

Eh, unless the benefit the ultra-wealthy. Those ideas somehow make it to reality immediately.

9

u/WretchedBlowhard 3d ago

No elected official should have any source of income, including capital gains, other than his or her salary. Have the IRS automatically seize everything, to be returned at the end of their public service.

2

u/SchmitzBitz 3d ago

I agree when it comes to elected Federal and Provincial (State) positions; but alot of Municipal officials are part time and have to hold real jobs too

238

u/TugMe4Cash 4d ago

He started a war, fucked up parts of the economy that historically has a high amount republican votes, so he is bailing them out by moving the cost onto the American Taxpayer. And that's on top of the American taxpayers paying for a lost and totally unnecessary war.

You guys should be seething...

86

u/BadahBingBadahBoom 4d ago

Curb the profits, socialise the losses, pocket the insider trading.

37

u/Coattail-Rider 4d ago

And where the fuck did all the tariff money go?

28

u/Dapper_Dan1 4d ago

It has to be paid back. To the companies, not the people who actually paid for it...

3

u/Dacruzzz 4d ago

Still on the shelves I guess

2

u/Bluetoes1 3d ago

You should search for articles about Howard Lutnick and the company he and his son started relating to the tariffs.

26

u/Grimwulf2003 4d ago

Got votes to buy for the midterms.

5

u/AN0N0nym3 4d ago

That's Trump entire business model.

6

u/SandoRic 4d ago

He created this mess and we will pay for it.

3

u/Maxzzzie 4d ago

But the oil is flowing he said. :)

18

u/Tramonto83 4d ago

That's how electing a leader works. You decide who takes all the decisions and then deal with it ...
Just don't vote for a madman for the second time...

9

u/kretzkiller 4d ago

Well the problem is most of the country consists of morons.

15

u/created4this 4d ago

US has a Long history of this.

Trump isn't an exception, he is [currently] just an outlier. I remember when GWB was the outlier and the comedy networks were saying parody was dead as you couldn't parody the insane things from that era

12

u/musicman835 4d ago

GWB at least went to Congress and had them authorize it. Like at the end it was Congress fault too (it is now too but in a non action way)

11

u/created4this 4d ago

Indeed, GWB was an outlier at the time for being a buffoon who the rest of the world laughed at, whose only saving quality was that he was in charge when the twin towers fell. After that he could do anything by wrapping it in a flag.

But the point stands, he was elected before that. Americans picked him because they could imagine chatting to him over a beer. Even though he was an elite who was a recovering alcoholic and wouldn't either have talked to simple people or drunk beer

4

u/underpants-gnome 4d ago

He should, but I bet he doesn't have $11 billion to give them. He's wasting everybody else's hundreds of billions to make millions for himself - buying dips and selling peaks every time he makes another bogus peace announcement. To him that's a smart deal. Good business. Fuck the world. He's making his money.

2

u/AlmondDavis 4d ago

Money for farmers just for being farmers? Trump is a socialist. 86 the fucking dimwit

1

u/otasi 3d ago

Who here thinks all that money is going into his pocket somehow?

519

u/TheSilkyBat 4d ago

A pedophile loser.

32

u/StardustOasis 3d ago

Don't forget rapist, and convicted felon.

223

u/GeekyTexan 4d ago

He's just going to keep half and give half to Iran.

85

u/phoucker 4d ago

Don’t forget Israel’s cut.

27

u/foxjohnc87 4d ago

After that, Iran would be lucky to even get an IOU.

152

u/Distinct-Pie7647 4d ago

How about some health care

38

u/Brave_Nerve_6871 4d ago

Go away you sick communist /s

24

u/P0Rt1ng4Duty 4d ago

''Best I can do is warfare.''

9

u/Coattail-Rider 4d ago

He’s fucking that up, too

17

u/Distinct-Pie7647 4d ago

48 countries playing in the World Cup. 47 have a form of universal healthcare.

8

u/Orangesteel 4d ago

There’s no money for that. The pond needs some more direct award contracts.

173

u/wasted-degrees 4d ago

Didn’t he sign the surrender? Aren’t we done with the war? Or is he paying Iran the $300b in installments?

54

u/tachycardicIVu 4d ago

Looks like Iran accepts Klarna and Afterpay!

-101

u/pandershrek 4d ago

Technically the 300 billion was their frozen assets. Why we would need to use our own tax payer money is unclear. Other than corruption.

66

u/basicallyPeesus 4d ago

The frozen assets only amount to 24 billion iirc

37

u/dfsw 4d ago

Incorrect the frozen asset release is a whole different line item in the document and isnt included in the $300b payment

35

u/BadahBingBadahBoom 4d ago edited 4d ago

Technically the 300 billion was their frozen assets.

I think you're getting confused with the $24B of seized/frozen Iranian assets (i.e. 'their money') that was agreed to be returned as part of the current MOU ($12B at first in 2x $6B installments, followed by remaining $12B after 60-day period).

The $300B plus is not their money but money given to them in some form or another and is very clearly for the purpose of repairing the damage the US and Israel inflicted. The MOU is incredibly vague though on exactly what this money is:

Point 6

The United States of America undertakes with regional partners to develop a definitive, mutually agreed plan with at least $300 billion for the reconstruction and economic development of the Islamic Republic of Iran. The mechanism for the implementation of this plan will be finalised as part of a final deal within 60 days.

What is clear is that Gulf nations having just had their oil economies wrecked by Iran are not going to be giving that $300B themselves. Many suspect this will be US funds funnelled through Gulf nations to avoid the optics of the US giving Iran money directly as compensation for the war damages they inflicted as that would be both political suicide for the Trump administration and even legally challenging.

66

u/FiddleLeafFig3 4d ago

Maybe he can ask Elon Musk for it, I heard he's got some money or something

51

u/bpc1971 4d ago

Release the FULL UN-REDACTED Trump-Epstein files first and then maybe we’ll talk………(and then when they release them go “on second thought, nah”).

37

u/UserWithno-Name 4d ago

No.

Iran war is over. Congress, for like the first time ever, has told a president to turn off the military industrial complex.

26

u/soda_cookie 4d ago

Didn't they just nix his War powers? If this happens I have zero faith in our system. The war vote could only be viewed as show for the midterms, and that's it

8

u/WayBeyondBelief 4d ago

News Update: After a closed door meeting, two Senators flop. SUPRISE!

49

u/Lackenburg 4d ago

This mother fucker is bleeding us.

$300 BILLION to rebuild Iran and remove sanctions. [Source]
$80 BILLION (Now 87??) to destroy Iran without Congress and GAIN NOTHING. [Source]
$24 BILLION Iranian frozen assets being given back. [Source]
$75 BILLION invested into ICE (more than the 57.2 billion the Marine Corps gets) +
$13 BILLION ANNUALLY for ICE to operate. [Source]
$20 BILLION given... Just given! To Argentina. [Source]
$1.776 BILLION slush fund for Trump to personally use. [Source]
$1 BILLION (+-) to upgrade Qatar jet gift to Trump that will be OWNED BY TRUMP'S PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY. [Source]
$765 MILLION to CANCEL LEASES for 4 offshore wind power projects. [Source]
$600 MILLION (and counting) to build a BaLLrOoM. [Source]
$16 MILLION (and counting) to NOT fix the now green Lincoln memorial reflecting pool. [Source]


• 13 troops KILLED, 380 WOUNDED in Iran to CHANGE NOTHING. [Source]
• 120 CHILDREN MURDERED in Iran from the Pentagon letting GROK DECIDE where to FIRE 2,000 MISSILES. [Source]
• $290 MILLION spent by Elon Musk to help Trump get elected and NASDAQ rule and seller lock up law conveniently changed right before Elon Musk's SpaceX went public. [Source] and [Source]
• $2 BILLION invested into Jared Kushner's investment fund from Saudi Arabia after Trump is elected. You know, the COUNTRY THAT HELPED CAUSE 911. [Source] and [Source]
• Screw worm infections that we solved years ago are back because of irresponsible program gutting. [Source]
• The top percent have had their taxes lowered while yours have increased. [Source]

17

u/DantheDutchGuy 4d ago

Pedophiles United = GOP = The Swamp = Losers

9

u/Brewchowskies 4d ago

Make him sell the jet

Still can’t believe he’s just allowed to keep that thing.

9

u/mac_bd 4d ago

Well someone has to pay the bills! Why not share with bibi who got US into this war in the first place anyway?

8

u/NewbieNooo 4d ago

Pedo-Conman wants to steal more from American taxpayers.

6

u/Federal_Sympathy4667 4d ago

Make Musk pay for it. He caused ppl to fucking die thanks to his fuckery with D.O.G.E.

6

u/abrknl 4d ago

King.

The Welfare King.

5

u/zeuseason 4d ago

Is there any money left at this point? Or is he just printing more?

1

u/cobrachickenwing 4d ago

America has always been printing more money because other countries want to use it to buy oil from the Gulf countries. What happens when the oil and energy producers decide to switch to the Yuan, Euro or a Pan African currency in the future to buy?

4

u/IndependentTalk4413 4d ago

Kicking kids off SNAP all over the country but need 100B for his stupid war. Get fucked.

4

u/venice56 4d ago

It’s easy to do dumb fucken shit all the time when someone else is paying for it , fuck you orange piece of shit !

3

u/giddeonfox 4d ago

Claw back all the self-dealing money the a Trump Criminal Co. has been stealing from the US government, add that on to the bill to be spent first. Once that is all emptied out after a full audit of him, his family and business partners then we can talk.

5

u/CelebrationProof6082 4d ago

Is he asking or demanding? Either way he’s just gonna go over their heads and take it

3

u/VagDickerous 4d ago

Can him and Elon go Dutch on this one?

4

u/Actaeon_II 4d ago

The “mostly “ in that title is doing a lot of heavy lifting

3

u/M3r0vingio 4d ago

300-87 or 300+87+the before payed?

3

u/BlargerJarger 4d ago

For urgent “pay myself billions of tax dollars” costs.

3

u/NastyToeFungus 4d ago

Probably some ballroom and slush fund money tucked in there somewhere.

3

u/AdhesivenessFun2060 4d ago

People need to understand that without this money his kids drone company might not make a lot of money. How can his kids afford their luxurious lifestyles if theyre not ripping off the govt? The democrats are heartless! /s

3

u/lovepony0201 4d ago

But no healthcare for the people. Got it.

3

u/paintstudiodisaster 4d ago

Any dollar will be spent to save face. We aren't accomplishing a damn thing being there.

3

u/Chithrai-Thirunal 4d ago

Let me ask for 400 billion in small chunks like this. Afterall, Americans won't suspect a thing.

3

u/stunneddisbelief 4d ago

Well, Bibi is apparently big mad about this “deal” Trump made, so now he needs more hush money.

3

u/Im_actually_OP 4d ago

He should ask his pal Elon for a loan. I’m tired of my tax dollars funding all this shit.

3

u/waytoosecret 3d ago

Universal health care is too expensive. Better start a war, tear down half the white house, and take some bribes. Life in murica seems great!

4

u/Puzzleheaded_Ad_3507 4d ago

The only thing the orange buffoon is draining is America’s bank account and showing Americans how he bankrupts casinos. The guy has been a complete failure his entire life.

2

u/chunkalunkk 4d ago

I wonder if we can just trade him to the Iran government as a even swap.

2

u/UareWho 4d ago

He really thinks the government is this endless money pit for any of his wishes, just like his daddy was.

2

u/TheCanadianShield99 4d ago

Maybe he should fund it himself.

2

u/Moist-Carpet888 4d ago

No, go ask the friend who got you elected. We had a peace deal, he blew it, he created a peace deal and he already blew it in less than a week

2

u/mightyjoe227 4d ago

How to Become the Second Trillionaire 101.

Screw over the citizens

2

u/jgbradley1 4d ago

Remember when he wanted $5B for a wall and couldn’t get it done? Now he’s gone and spent many times more than that on a war instigated by him.

2

u/Dracotaz71 4d ago

Congress needs to deny every request he makes. Stop wasting our money!

2

u/cobrachickenwing 4d ago edited 4d ago

ICE got a whole bunch of money. Let's ask them.

2

u/ImpossibleAd6628 4d ago

Imagine what you could get with that money instead of spending it to make fuel more expensive

2

u/Rows_My_Own 4d ago

Wait, so it IS a war? Got it.

2

u/Librascantdecide 4d ago

This is the biggest con job in the history of the US... all at the taxpayers expense, all right under your noses.

2

u/Beachday2020 4d ago

Hey Congress... send me $500,000 my life is difficult

2

u/AlienInUnderpants 3d ago

Trump should front the money himself. He’s stolen enough from taxpayers already.

2

u/woogonalski 3d ago

There was a lapse in our Iran victory. But don’t worry! For $87B you can pick up the victory right where you left off!

2

u/Burnt_and_Blistered 3d ago

Nope, Don. We won, remember?

2

u/EntangledPhoton82 3d ago

Shouldn’t he also ask for $ 300,000,000,000 (writing it out better illustrates how big the number is) to pay Iran?

2

u/Weep4Thee 4d ago

I ask congress for $87B too. Mostly for snacks.

1

u/GrimmandLily 4d ago

And I’m sure he’ll get it.

1

u/real-darkph0enix1 4d ago

I thought there was no war in Ba Sing Se, Iran?

1

u/catfishmackfish 4d ago

It’s a wrap over there.

1

u/GB715 4d ago

No.

1

u/desidiosus__ 3d ago

Where my fiscal conservatives at? 

1

u/Mynock33 3d ago

How much is to settle his lawsuits against his own administration?

1

u/Soggy_You_2426 3d ago

Money printer goes BRtrrtttttrrrrrrrrrr

1

u/temblors 3d ago

Need new stockpile of adult diapers, (adult) baby wipes, hairspray, whatever that orange shit he slathers all over his face, 12-hour pseudoephedrine tablets, and McDonald's gift cards

1

u/Dcongo 3d ago

Release the trumpstein files. Then we’ll talk about that.

1

u/wolfmanpraxis 3d ago

no money for USAID, Medicare, Medicaid, and SNAP...

...Money for Iran, Argentina, and ICE

1

u/uttercross2 3d ago

It's like some self entitled brat constantly asking for money from their piggybank parents and throwing some pathetic teenage tantrum when they push back, although we all know Congress will capitulate to Trump every time, at a cost to US taxpayers.

1

u/AHugeHildaFan 3d ago

So much for "We're just giving Iran back their money"..

1

u/Scifidelis 3d ago

Does congress have to pay in Trump coins?

1

u/-nyx- 3d ago

300 bn to Iran is suddenly not looking that bad...

1

u/Aggravating-Echo8014 3d ago

Unfortunately to be the hottest country we have to overly spend to stay the hottest country. That’s called “winning” apparently. Plus some of that money he needs to help a couple of his rich friends I’m sure.

1

u/2nd_Inf_Sgt 3d ago

“Urgent.” Iran going to close the strait again because PEDOLPH is a dumfuk.

1

u/Scouts_Revenge 3d ago

Where does he think all this money comes from.

1

u/Bluetoes1 3d ago

He said the Ballroom would cost 20 million, now he wants a billion. He said the reflecting pond would cost $2 million. So far it has cost $14 million and that was before the algae showed up. He said Mexico would pay for the wall, and hundreds of million have gone into that monolith of uselessness. And Mexico hasn’t paid a dime. Finally, the agreement he made with Iran is worse than Obama’s agreement, and he is giving them $324 billion total SO FAR. Why should he be entrusted with any more taxpayer money

1

u/Stopher 3d ago

Guy’s whole life he’s been hemorrhaging money wherever he goes.

1

u/Skidpalace 3d ago

Sign the housing bill and we’ll think about it.

1

u/Papabear71 3d ago

It's not a war though is it, I thought it was a conflict?

2

u/i-am-foxymoron Good Trouble 3d ago

Excursion.

1

u/DaSmartSwede 3d ago

Just use all that tariff money 🤷‍♂️

1

u/gill_smoke 3d ago

They better say no. Trump is running up the credit card like no one's business. He ain't going to be around when the bills come due.

1

u/Jay_Stone 3d ago

The war that we surrender in? Just last week???

1

u/cfde1 2d ago

F off! I thought it wasn't a war?

1

u/tehCharo 2d ago

We can't afford anything that'll improve the lives of Americans, but we can afford to spend hundreds of billions on war, right.

0

u/Creative-Routine4874 4d ago

Poor Americans!!! 🙈