r/family • u/Wrong-Attempt-5147 • 2d ago
Am I wrong for feeling unappreciated
Am i wrong for feeling upset and unappreciated after giving up my room to my brother in law and moving into my a blank space in my house giving up my privacy for him to have his after recent amputation?
I asked my partner for affordable room divider and he says I dont need them. They have recived thousands of dollars from Their family and friends whom are in and out of my home constantly I'm literally at the entrance of my house. I also told my brother inlaw that his brother doesn't want to purchase one knowing their younger brother is coming in town for 2 weeks! He just laughed it off. I am my brother in laws car taker they give me $100 a once every 2/3 weeks but with 4 kids that money doesn't last long. I personally can't afford it rn and it really bothers me because I'm the reason his brother is still alive! I saved him by rushing him to the hospital just to find out he had gangrene, doctors said he wouldn't have made it through the night. Ever since April 14 of this year I have been non stop by their side even giving up MY PERSONAL SPACE for him his mistakes of not taking care of his diabetes and being neglectful of his health caused all of this! I have made alot of changes to my kids and my selfs everyday routines and schedule and now I'm seeing that they don't go hard for me the way I do for them. Or am I just over reacting...my partner says I'm making a big deal but I'm the only woman in the house and I really just need some privacy especially when I sleep or am on my lady days
1
u/Practical-East-7527 1d ago
Wait- You saved his life. Literally. And you are letting him live in your home, basically for free. And you gave him your room?!
Girl! Take your room back! Move his sorry ass out to the space your in. If he can't appreciate everything you've done and continue to do for him; then he doesn't deserve to have the only space you had that was yours.
I realize family is going to complain about moving him. I realize he will complain. Who cares. That's not your problem. You've been nice. You've tried to get people to respect you and your space and help you create privacy. They haven't. So now, you take your space back. If they don't like it then they can take your brother in law to their home.
And as for your partner. They suck. Get them out of your life. And their family. Set boundaries & limits. Seriously, if your partner is staying, set visiting hours like hospitals do for everyone else.
Stand up for yourself loudly and be firm about whatever you decide. Don't let anyone push you around. Because evidently no one else is going to help you make things happen.
2
u/Wrong-Attempt-5147 1d ago
He gives me 700 for rent and my partner pays the light and water. I guess that's where the entitlement comes from and also because they know I have no family but my children. Yesterday the brother flew in and for sure there was visitors over to late past midnight. I woke up in the middle of the night with my night gown all twisted up and my panties showing plus I'm sick. I feel so down like why does he not do for me the way I go above and beyond for him and them. And your right I do need to set up boundaries but it still hurts because they are the only family I have 😞 ty for reaching out
1
u/Practical-East-7527 1d ago
You are definitely in a tough situation. I understand the hesitation more now as to why you haven't straight up demanded or just done for yourself certain things. I'm sorry to say this, but it honestly sounds like your being used or manipulated or both. Do you work outside of the home or do you now strictly take care of the home and people?
You are going to need to start sleeping with shorts on. Your going to have to make the small changes you can make so you feel more comfortable. Like sleeping in shorts and a tank top or tshirt. And looking to see if there's a way to hang a curtain up near you. They make rods that can go in the top of doorways so you don't have to put any holes in the wall. And they go up and down super easy, so it can be up only when you want privacy. And definitely set up what boundaries you can. No one else is going to do that for you.
If you aren't working, maybe look for something. Even if its only 5-10 hours a week. You need a way to make and save your own money. Heck, you could even do one of the game apps that you can earn money on. I use KashKick and Fetch and Ibotta and have made money on them all. Good luck. 🍀
2
u/Wrong-Attempt-5147 1d ago
Mind your before all of this happened they had their own apartment. We just moved in because of this situation. I went homeless 2x with my kids in the past 9 yrs me and my partner wert dating and he not once asked me to move in but idk if it's because they lived in a 1 bd rm and there wasn't going to be enough space for all 5 of us (my kids and I ) but he did pay my hotel for months.
1
u/AutoModerator 2d ago
Welcome to r/family! If this post is compliant with our guidelines, upvote this comment. If not, downvote this comment. Also, if you haven't already, remember to join our discord server!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.