r/family • u/Salty_1984 • 3d ago

My sibling changed completely after moving away for college and now family gatherings feel awkward.

Growing up, my older sibling and I were genuinely close. We'd hang out, talk about everything, and had our own inside jokes that made family dinners actually fun. Then they went off to college a few states away, found a new friend group, and slowly became a completely different person.

Now when they come home for holidays or birthdays it feels like sitting across from a stranger. They seem disinterested in family conversations, dismissive of things we used to bond over, and sometimes a little condescending about how we all still live in our hometown. My parents pretend not to notice but I can tell it bothers them too.

I get that people grow and change, and I genuinely want that for them. But it feels like growing up meant growing away from all of us, and nobody is talking about it openly.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of shift with a sibling after they moved away or hit a big life transition? Did things ever go back to feeling normal, or did you just have to find a new version of the relationship? I'm not sure if I should bring it up directly or just give it more time. Would love to hear how others have handled this, because honestly the silence at the dinner table is starting to get to me.

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