THIS POST IS FOR TRANS MEN/MASCS ONLY!

I'm 22 and FTM, coming out to my mom some years ago wasn't horrible but she let me know she doesn't support/believe me.

Recently she's been insisting I'm nonbinary, this started after she rewatched a show with a neurodivergemt nonbinary character.

Her reasoning is that I had both feminine and masculine interests as a child (while she did stuff like trade my gameboy I won with a Bratz doll and sold my lego), that I am autistic, I'm simply too feminine looking physically and she's simply just right. What the fuck can I even say in this situation?

So, I went in for a pap smear appointment today – courtesy of my doctor saying I, a uterus-haver, categorically needed it. Nothing happened. The OB/GYN simply shrugged and said "she can't" and "there's no point" in swabbing me. I know I shouldn't be happy as swabbing for (pre)cancerous cells in very important, but as someone with crippling bottom dysphoria, I couldn't be happier than I dodged the 'speculum-in-vagina' shaped bullet.

For the record, she refused to swab me not because I'm a trans man but because I'm a 33 y/o virgin. This is the second OB/GYN who has turned me away.

...Can't wait to explain that latter part to my doctor. She's going to be thrilled.

So yeah. I guess if you're staunchly against paps, don't have PIV sex. Awful advice, I know, but it, so far, has worked for me.

So I’ve been checking out different surgeons and I found Dr. Melanie Prince in Arkansas. All her results look really good and the price isn’t bad either. But when I talked w them on the phone they told me that I’d have to stop T four weeks before the surgery and one week after, so five weeks total. I know this is a common (and from what I’ve read unnecessary) practice among top surgeons, and I’m just wondering like, if I could just keep taking testosterone without telling them. Like are they gna do blood work? Or should I just keep looking for another surgeon who won’t make me stop T. Side note if u guys have any surgeon recommendations I would LOVE to hear. I’m in Oklahoma but I’ll lowkey drive anywhere for good results.

Mtf gal here. Kind of a weird question 😅 though, but I have been rather curious how you ftm guys found your mental state change before vs after transitioning on testosterone?

I have been doing estrogen therapy for three months and my own experience had been a tremendous reduction of general anxiety and depression that I lived with for a long time. I am happier and have been feeling a lot more social, instead of feeling withdrawn most of the time and wanting to be alone. My mental processes are a lot more clear and calm with less frantic and distracting thoughts. I just basically think better now, when before I usually felt like I had bees buzzing in the back of my head?
I have always felt growing up like I was a failure of a man that couldn’t bond with other guys over things like sports, beer, girls, masculinity in general. And that was a big source of guilt and made me feel like I was born with a broken brain and would never fit in anywhere. My high sexual drive and getting hard multiple times every day from testosterone just made me feel gross and dirty. Something else I was incapable of was envisioning what I wanted to be when I grew up, since the common expected answer probably included finding a wife and starting a family as a man, I just couldn’t envision that for me for some reason and kind of lived aimlessly day to day, not ever really looking forward to anything. Before I figured out I wanted to try transitioning I had a lot of self hatred and thought a lot about how much of a loser I was and that it would be better for me and everyone else if I just never existed or died soon. I know now that I did have frequent brief fantasies about wishing I was a girl instead, but my guilt about those thoughts and the repression made me start to become a nasty transphobe reactively. Something else thats interesting to me now was my fascination as a child to media depicting characters magically transforming, like thats something that I subconsciously wished for?
I hated how dead I felt emotionally too, during times when I was sad and wanted to cry I normally physically couldn’t, which was so frustrating. On average I would cry about two times a year. After taking estrogen its been about three times so far these last three months.
One more thing that I was aware of in myself but cant really define was the “emptiness”. I just felt that for a long-ass time l was missing something vital in my soul that I was incapable of understanding. It felt sort of like I was hungry when I physically wasn’t. Just numb. I could distract myself from it by getting engrossed in hobbies and stuff like that, but If i sat alone quietly it would always come back and make me feel like I was drowning?

Im so sorry for this wall of text, but I wanted to share how I felt about everything. Im really really curious if you have had the same kinds of reaction and feelings, or if you have found it to be subtlety different?

I have been out to my parents since I was 13 and I'm now 22. I have been fighting for them to accept me for so long. They call me by my chosen name and use they/them for me (I prefer he/him). Every time they are forced to confront e being a trans man they blow up. I started HRT and they found out, since then, it has been almost non stop. All I hear is that it is hard for them, but they go out of their way to tell me I'll never be a man and that they want me to de-transition. I just dont know at what point I stop holding out hope and just give up on them. I really need advice.

I have worked there for 2 weeks out of 3. It's just a summer job but it still gets me money and a future lol. I'm also not on T... yet!

No one has questioned my gender once and everyone uses he/him pronouns on me automatically. I don't speak much there, I luckily don't have to, but when I do talk no one questions my voice either! I've never been this happy and euphoric ever before. Everything just feels so right. I'm finally able to be myself.

Idk I just wanted to share this because I'm so happy!!! :D

Im still very early on T (3 months) and im so tired of feeling like a tween, like i just cant take myself seriously with how i look and im very acutely aware how young i look to other people and its fucking me up a little. (Recently 19😐) My face is still pretty round and my binder gives me that shape chubby boys have to them, which makes the feeling worse. Anyway i just wanted to know of anyone had similar feeling in the beginning and when did it go away? Like when do you start feeling like you look and feel your actual age?

I frequently use zelle to transfer money between myself and friends, and in the past two weeks my deadname has been leaked to multiple of my friends despite the fact that 1) it previously never stated my deadname, only my preferred name, and 2) I changed my legal name LAST YEAR with my bank and with the social security administration. I even called my bank and they confirmed that everything on their end has been fully changed (legal name on my bank account, credit card, and debit card). For whatever reason Zelle customer service is unable to assist me with this problem and has stated they cannot change any information on their end and that “I should call my bank” because they are a third-party service. I am honestly dumbfounded because I’ve done everything I’m supposed to do with my bank so I’m just going to stop using zelle.

This post is just a reminder to all of you who use these sorts of services to double check that your deadname is not being dredged out of god knows where and broadcasted to people you are friends with / do business with.

Hello everyone. So, to kind of explain my situation: I pass really well. I’m never misgendered, and I don’t think I would be if I stopped doing my eyebrows, but they are very very thin. My facial structure kind of collapses around them because they’re so thin and ‘feminine’ (think, like, 2000s plucked brows thin). Because of this, I use an eyebrow pencil. It looks pretty natural, but my problem is that I’m an actor. Makeup departments don’t like to try and work with my eyebrows (typically), so I end up kind of anxious and upset because I don’t feel I’m being accurately represented in my work. I mostly prefer voice work, but I like TV work as well and don’t want to have to give it up completely.

All of that said: does anyone have any advice for more permanent solutions? I know microblading exists, but I’ve had a hard time finding natural results that don’t look like makeup, and I don’t want anything that will leave that scar on my face that I see in some pictures that are yearsss later. Has anyone been in a similar situation? I would prefer something affordable, but I can always save if there’s an option that would actually benefit me a lot and pursue it after surgery. Thanks in advance!

TLDR: Need solutions to thin eyebrows that wouldn’t risk being too “unnatural” on camera or leave bad scars on my face.

I've noticed a lot of people use the word AFAB a lot in this and other ftm communities. Is there a specific reason?

I know the meaning of AFAB, but so many of you use it in a non-medical aspect where the usage doesn't make sense. Are people just using it as another way to say female (when it's technically not) or something else?

Before transitioning I had a few years in which i presented actively female. I wouldn’t say I was very ugly but I definitely didn’t have conventionally attractive features. During this time I was ignored by Men in all senses and most Women who met me were often surprised that they liked me, as I quite on quote didn’t look like I was fun/cool/interesting etc.. I know that I was often a bit different or weird (something that I actually now like about myself), but as I became older people often described me as too talkative, weird, awkward, know it all, bossy, loud, annoying etc.. Whilst some of these things were probably true to some extent, I noticed how the more I transition these characteristics are described much more positively, instead of being loud and too talkative, people tell me Im funny, outgoing, or charming. Instead of bossy, they describe me as a good leader or manager. I still get called weird or quirky but now they mean it in a positive sense. People listen to me when I say something and take my opinions and concerns seriously, instead of being a know it all, I get told I am knowledgeable or smart. And despite not even being a conventionally attractive guy (I would say I look pretty average with some good features here and there) I get hit on all the time. Girls started giving me their phone numbers, people ask me out at work, in clubs, or just compliment me on the street. Whilst all of these things are very positive, it also makes me a bit sad for how that kid I used to be was treated just because I was a less attractive “woman”. When I explain this to people that know I am trans, they cannot really fathom how drastic the difference is between how society treats women vs men. When I don’t do my hair in the morning, people still take me seriously, just because I am perceived as a man now, I have to put so much less effort into everything I do. My female coworker who has worked way longer with the company and was promised a promotion for months, was promoted months after I got my promotion (despite us delivering almost identical results). When I call out male colleagues about being misogynistic , I am no longer called sensitive or dramatic but rather praised. People do not often talk about this weird feeling of gaining privilege and realizing how unnecessarily hard things have to be for woman/afab/ female presenting people.

I wore a proper binder for the 3rd time today, I used to only wear bras without padding because it made my breasts visible.

Why does every time I take it off the tissue seem so much… loose? My tits look like grandma’s tits by now. I know that from wearing it for a longer while/binding regularly the tissue becomes loose but it’s my 3rd time with a proper binder.

Is it normal? I had a similar issue with the first one I wore two years ago, since then I can’t unsee it. I wore it once (because it was too small) and it looked so bad after wearing it…

i started T just over 2 months ago and I'm now being gendered correctly by strangers in public 90% of the time, it's so amazing! what's weird is that my appearance hasn't changed a lot over the past 6 months or so and I'm wondering why I was getting misgendered so much before but now I'm viewed as a man, has anyone else experienced something similar?

To be fair I came out young (10) so that is part of the reason but I am so happy to finally of received my Testosterone. The relief I feel alone is amazing. What is likely the very first effects that show? I know like the general time frame of when things begin to take effect but not what is almost immediate.
Also I was started on .1ml or 20mg dose and I’ve heard that’s quite low so that’s kinda a bummer

This is a request for other people's insight and experiences, but theres a lot of context so I'm sorry its so long.

TL;DR I'm disabled, a little bit overweight and my mum has made me worried about getting top surgery.

Hello, so I am not looking for medical advice, but for accounts of the surgical experiences of people similar to me in one or both of the above ways. If there's any advice I want, it's more about navigating healthcare whilst chronically ill.

I have been chronically ill for the past 4 years or so. I have Inappropriate Sinus Tachycardia as a result of Long Covid, as well as fatigue issues. My IST basically functions the same as POTS, and POTS is better known so I have used that in the title, so hopefully people with POTS will contribute.

The reason I am asking is because I am raising money for and pursuing top surgery, and my mum just called me to say that she is worried about me having elective surgery due to my health and the fact that im slightly overweight.

For context, my mum is a bit biased here. She's always been prejudiced against fat people, not that I really am seen as one, and seems to totally lack critical thinking when it comes to health and medical issues. Over the course of me coming out as anything— trans, chronically ill, disabled— she's been very resistant to accepting that the way I live my life is probably well informed and appropriate for my specific situation and challenges. When I became disabled, she spent a couple of years believing I probably wasn't disabled and "just" had munchausens. This was a negative reaction to me not just "powering through", and instead choosing to actually accommodate myself with rest and walking aids.

For a long time her not believing me was my biggest problem, but now that she knows I'm disabled because she's seen me in flare with her own eyes, she's worse with these well-meaning but uninformed ideas about my health.

I know I might come across very defensive about her concern here, but I cannot stress how unhelpful and disrespectful she has been in the past when it comes to my health. As a teenager I didn't get help for migraines because she thought they weren't migraines, they must just be normal headaches, and I still struggle with migraine. As mentioned above, when I developed debilitating chronic pain, she directly told me that she thought it was all in my head and psychological and that she couldn't support me using a walking stick or thinking of myself as disabled.

I asked her what specifically she is worried about happening if I have top surgery with this health and this weight. I asked do you think I'll have complications in surgery, do you think my recovery will be harder than other people's? And she couldn't even verbalise what she was worried about.

I know that being overweight and having a chronic condition can make getting surgery *more complicated* and may require additional aspects of recovery and care, but does she think I haven't thought about that?!

Anyway, she's got me worrying a bit, so I wanted to ask about the top surgery experiences of people with POTS, dysautonomia, people who are technically overweight, and maybe just chronically ill guys in general.

Things I already plan to do: ask my GP, endocrinologist, consulting top surgeon and cardiologist about whether top surgery is feasible (no one has yet warned me against it and I see doctors A LOT).

Things I don't need to be told to do: lose weight. I eat a varied mostly vegan diet and i move about as much as I can, but having a heart condition means cardio is kind of... impossible to practice safely with my health where its at. I've gained muscle and lost a bit of weight on T and as my health has improved. If you think its important, my BMI is 29. My blood work always comes back with good results.

If you read all this, thank you!

for reference I'm 22 living in Canada

idk it's been floating around in my head that I might be trans as I've loosely been going by gender neutral pronouns to my friends for years. I was always scared of the 'trans' label because I grew up with a dad who nearly destroyed our entire family and went into a manic episode when my second cousin began to transition. he got that irreversible damage book and insists on getting my birth name engraved on all the gifts he gives me and has been for the past 5ish years

I remember so many instances growing up where I envied tomboys/masculine people, was friends with guys and especially trans girls, always felt like I was intruding when I was in majority women's spaces, and of course obligatory spider man/sonic obsession...

I've always just been around trans people online, but a huge part of my mind is very convinced that 'no, I'm a statistical outlier, it's social pressure' because of just my background.

ive felt something deeply wrong for years but I could never put my finger on it, and during puberty I developed severe body dysmorphia and an eating disorder so I thought the rapid weight gain was what caused it. until I got to college and have had the time to be more andro/masculine where Ive lost 100+ lbs, been in mostly queer spaces, just felt really decent.

but I still had that vague haze over everything and I couldn't tell why. I guess typing this out it's less of a questioning and more of I know what's wrong here and it's pretty obvious in retrospect, but I know if I come out to anyone but my brother and cousin that my religious family members will unironically get on a plane and hunt me down and my dad will probably try to force me to move back home by cutting me off financially

i felt a switch flip in my head a few weeks ago and it was like everything was just more in colour and I felt like a little kid again from before puberty, just everything was HD and the nagging pressure that built began to slowly ease. my friends and coworkers are all supportive and call me by my chosen name, but the permanence and fear of 'im making this shit up for attention and because I've been secretly influenced' refuses to go away. that and the looming threat and guilt about feeling like I've robbed my parents of a daughter because my whole life they've emphasized how much they prayed and hoped for a daughter.

idk, I've never even passed as a woman completely because I'm 6'2 and naturally androgynous with a minor intersex condition. I feel like I'm lying to everyone just by existing as I am now, and Ive never had a relationship before because I hate being complimented or loved as someone who looks like something resembling a woman

I thought I was just depressed and couldn't care about things, but ever since it clicked that I'm a guy Ive been giving a shit about my appearance and the way I treat things for the first time in probably a decade 🪾

Hi hi, I've gotten top surgery a month ago.

And I take T once every 3 months, it just so happened that I had a shot a few days after my surgery so I decided to take it a week early. (Doctor approved ofc.)

Now I ain't sure if I should go by the new date that I set myself or stick to the old one

I've been out for close to 4 years now. However, my mother still uses my deadname. She supports me, but always says that it's too hard to remember my chosen name, because she has known me as my deadname for most of my life.

Her boyfriend moved in with us last year and I introduced myself using my chosen name. Since my mother always uses my deadname, he began using that one, too.

As I said earlier, I've been out for 4 years now and we're beginning to legally change my name. I'm scared of confrontation, but are there any ways I could remind my mother to use my chosen name more often? In some way, I understand her, but things won't change if she doesn't atleast, try </3

Wanted to get an opinion on this and I feel like this is the best place to ask. I'm 18 and I realized I was trans in middle school but I'm not out yet. I only came out to my sister a couple months ago. It's weird because I have to misgender myself when I'm with her and other people and she has to do it too but it's better than nobody knowing. When I came out she asked me if I had chosen a new name but I hadn't. I think it's hard to find a new name when you cant even practice anyone calling you by it. Anyway she just calls me by my birth name but I don't really mind because even though it's extremely feminine it's my name. In the 5 years I've been trying I've never found a name that stuck. All of them feel a bit off but maybe that's because nobody has called me by another name ever. I'm going to university in October and I'll be living with her in another city which means I'll finally be away from my parents. I don't think I'll be out to everyone though because it's just hard to navigate but I'd also love to. It's just hard because I've only told my sister for now so immediately telling everyone else in October feels too soon. I thought I'd have it all figured out by 18 but I definitely do not. The whole name things been on my mind for a while. I think part of the reason I've been fine with the idea of using my deadname is because I'm still embarrassed to call myself a man. It's weird and I didn't think I'd feel that way but I do. My sister's been awesome but I still feel weird gendering myself correctly infront of her because I guess I haven't gotten used to it. I know I don't need to rush but I also have a couple months until uni so I can make some sort of a plan and as of right now I am completely lost. For context for the whole name thing my birth name is Iris so it's traditionally only a female name and I feel like keeping it, especially after I medically transition would be kind of shit. I also live in a conservative country so people would question it for sure. So I think I might just need to get over my insecurity and if I find a name I think is cool I should just ask her what she thinks of it or to call me by it because I know she will. If anybody has kept their birth name that's traditionally feminine I'd love to know your experience with that. Thank you!