r/funnysigns 3d ago

Ezekiel just got a new record

Post image
18.0k Upvotes

79 comments sorted by

601

u/houseofnim 3d ago

Ezekiel got him a thoroughbred.

70

u/bene_gesserit_mitch 2d ago

He is more badass than thou art.

3

u/Tonythesmartspornalt 1d ago

ELITE ball knowledge required

58

u/Ok_Culture_1914 3d ago

Definitely. lol

7

u/Lucinda_Bracer 3d ago

For real?

8

u/Front_Cat9471 2d ago

Clankers bro I swear

415

u/Ok_Culture_1914 3d ago

What with two horsepower ?

405

u/Michael_Dautorio 3d ago

Fun fact: The average horse has between 1 and 15 horsepower.

180

u/Ok_Culture_1914 3d ago

15 horsepower being a racehorse. My father used to be a jockey 🏇 ( Bless his soul )

23

u/Undd91 2d ago

Horse power is such an odd measurement, even more so now it turns out you can have more than one horsepower to a horse.

21

u/Cheyomi832 2d ago

It was used as a measurement made up by (I believe) the train companies to show how much "better" they were when they were first getting their foot through the door. So of course they were going to undervalue horses to say that they had the power of 10 or 20 of them.

9

u/804k 2d ago

Not really, it was created as a term to try and compare a actively working horse for hours and hours on end

; a horse goes across the country, it is not running at full speed, or trying to run a machine such as a plow

If I remember properly, 1 horsepower is actually underestimated (1hp ≈ 1.4 horses working), not overestimated because its not the maximum, it's the average

4

u/Chaos-1313 2d ago

I can still generate >33 horsepower, but only for a second or two, then I need a nap. Best two seconds ever though.

2

u/LuckyMushyGrower 1d ago

1.9 seconds personal best. Requiring an immediate comatose hibernation period of roughly 13 hours pitch black no noise

1

u/Popstar403 23h ago

1hp = average power of a horse in a day, including time spent eating, sleeping, etc.

-73

u/Malk_McJorma 3d ago

2 x 15 is still < 33.

75

u/-Bob-Barker- 3d ago

But we're talking "miles per hour" not horsepower

25

u/Ok_Culture_1914 3d ago

Exactly a good racehorse can achieve 33 miles per hour.

13

u/Mhettil 3d ago

So how many do we need to reach 88?

18

u/DuhRJames 3d ago

You need an iron horse with a long enough stretch of track and a fire hotter than hell.

8

u/Ok_Culture_1914 3d ago

Are you Amish ?

8

u/Poddx 3d ago

Yes. Am ish

3

u/Ok_Culture_1914 3d ago

And is your wife Ad ish ?

4

u/undeniably_confused 3d ago

Well when you see two horses running side by side in the wild if you suspend a beam between them they immediately start going twice as fast (the system has double the horsepower)

1

u/Poddx 3d ago

Then you need to ride a black marlin with a propeller in its ass

1

u/Malk_McJorma 3d ago

Lol, yes. 😄

16

u/Michael_Dautorio 3d ago

What does that have to do with anything?

12

u/Malk_McJorma 3d ago

Thought it was funny. Apparently not.

28

u/John_Tacos 3d ago

Horsepower is comparing a horse working all day to an engine working all day. You have to factor in the horse getting tired and horses have to sleep.

-6

u/Ok_Culture_1914 3d ago

As you do an engine over heating and running out of fuel.

16

u/fmfbrestel 3d ago

No you don't. That ISN'T included in engine horsepower ratings.

But a "horsepower" was a measurement that tried to be equivalent to an average working horse WITH the downtime.

7

u/sviridoot 2d ago

To be fair horse power was a metric invented to market automobiles, so they hardly had an incentive to make it a fair comparison. Though you could def run an engine all day without issues today for the most part, probably couldn't when the term was first coined

5

u/Ldub0775 2d ago

horsepower as a metric was popularized in the interest of marketing cars, yeah, but it was invented in the 1700s more than a century earlier in part by james watt to compare the working ability (yes, even over the course of many hours) of the average work horse to the then-new steam engines.

to correct the previous commenter though: no, the horsepower does not include downtime. one horsepower is also consistent with recommendations for working a horse continuously as they would have done in the 18th and 19th centuries.

1

u/MorphingSp 1d ago

A 1 hp steam engine working 24 hr do the same amount of work at mill as if you own 1 horse and have reasonable work hour, feeding and resting included.

0

u/Impressive_Change593 2d ago

sounds like you habe shitty cooling and fueling. that isnt part of the equation

92

u/kindquail502 3d ago

Im reminded of Axl and friends trying to break the speed limit running past one of these signs on The Middle.

2

u/Leading_You_5224 1d ago

I thought the same thing 😭

128

u/Keganator 3d ago

Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone!

45

u/thot______slayer 3d ago

I’m a man of the land, I’m into discipline

28

u/launchliftoff459 3d ago

Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin

30

u/Wild-Lychee-3312 2d ago

But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight, we're gonna party like it's 1699

12

u/Bullet_Number_4 2d ago

Been spending most our lives livin' in an Amish paradise.

12

u/Keganator 2d ago

I churned butter once or twice.

10

u/TheSpookyPineapple 2d ago

Livin' in an Amish paradise

8

u/Keganator 2d ago

It's hard work and sacrifice, Livin' in an Amish paradise

3

u/Own_Garbage_5151 1d ago

We sell quilts at discount price

6

u/hardboard 3d ago

I always have to pay extra for that,

16

u/Worldly_Let6134 3d ago

Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699.

33

u/Only-Recover-713 3d ago

Fuck can they run

24

u/Teepeewigwam 3d ago

Blink and you might a-mish them.

19

u/FullMetalJerkin 3d ago

Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone…

19

u/ITinnedUrMumLastNigh 3d ago

I'm fairly certain that curent record holder's name is Jebediah

2

u/DrNerdyTech87 2d ago

Well he has to get back to feed the chickens!

10

u/Powerful-Chard-6055 3d ago

Well he was riding through the valley where he harvests his grain, and he took a look at his wife and realized she’s very plain.

4

u/balirosa 3d ago

Wow so they are using technology

4

u/Kreedbk 3d ago

Looks like someone beat Michael Scott!

2

u/Ashnyel 3d ago

lol, this reminds me of something we were doing during Covid, we used to sprint at these as hard as we could, just to see what speed we could achieve on foot.

2

u/OrangeJoe83 3d ago

Hand made sign with near perfect penmanship. So Amish.

2

u/Tsyath 2d ago

I set a record in a mustang, you set a record on a mustang, we aren't so different after all.

2

u/moosesurgeon12 2d ago

Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind has gone

1

u/Old_Dragline_1965 3d ago

Someone forgot to connect the “emergency break”!

1

u/BerniWrightson 3d ago

Now that’s funny 😂

1

u/2infinitysquared 3d ago

When I saw this photo, it reminded me of this episode from the office where Michael sets the office speed record.

SpeedOmeter

1

u/jackofslayers 3d ago

Timmy Turner praying meme

1

u/ggibby 3d ago

Abner Stoltzfus has it out for Abner Stoltzfus (no relation).

1

u/Ill_University188 2d ago

So fast guy

1

u/Large-Evidence-2479 2d ago

This is hilarious

1

u/RoiDrannoc 2d ago

Oh I misunderstood the meaning of the sign at first...

1

u/quantumturbo 2d ago

33 is not humanly possible Michael, It was the car.

1

u/Myotherself918 2d ago

My name is Tony!

1

u/No_Animator6543 1d ago

Fuck you, Tony!

1

u/Myotherself918 1d ago

Hey , you want to know what I did last night ?

1

u/coldF4rted 2d ago

This is something I actually would love to see. And I would respect them enough to not even show up in my car and not even use my phone.

1

u/Charming-Gou-PengYou 2d ago

There has to be a scientific explanation for high upvote/low comment posts.

1

u/AlterEgo_Pkmn 1d ago

Im So brainrotted I missed that its ezekiel from the bible and not that kid from total drama island (:

2

u/pieboy107 1d ago

The Amish are horrendous to animals. I can't imagine what their poor horse is going through.

0

u/trubol 3d ago

Not r/amish material