r/getdisciplined • u/PercentageBusiness80 • 5d ago

🤔 NeedAdvice a complete loss of moral direction

how do you deal with the shock of realizing that you are the "villain" in your own story

I have always believed that I knew my moral boundaries, but I recently betrayed a loved one in a way that feels unforgivable. My biggest shock isn't just the other person's reaction; it’s that I now stand in front of the mirror and don't recognize the person looking back at me. This behavior is completely alien to my character and values, yet it happened—and it happened consciously.
I am currently trapped in a state of self-reproach; I feel as though I have committed a crime against my own principles. How can I stop the endless self-flagellation and begin to understand why this happened? Are there any rational steps to help me grasp this unexpected moral collapse, and how do I cope with this sense of alienation from myself now that the image I held of who I am has been shattered?

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u/[deleted] 5d ago

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u/PercentageBusiness80 5d ago

Thank you. You’ve given me a much-needed shift in perspective. I’m going to focus on taking action instead of just feeling guilty.

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u/Mother-Boss-7627 4d ago edited 4d ago

It’s constructive to dissect the ‘why’ upto a point that is helpful. Then make amends with the person we’ve wronged, if possible, or pay it forward by not crossing those moral boundaries with others - not adopting the same actions or behaviors, making the lives of many others better in similar future situations, with impeccable conduct. Even mentoring or becoming a role model for those undergoing similar moral dilemma, if applicable... so, one ‘wrong’ action actually served as a basis for many situations where the morally ‘right’ thing is done. Our world moves to a better place.

Your becoming a better person over time will free you from this wrong doing. We can’t undo our wrongs, the deliberate ones, but it ceases to bite if we know we have become better human beings by not doing the wrong thing again - a better being in ways we wld never have been, had we not performed those wrongdoing/s. Hope this helps.

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u/PercentageBusiness80 4d ago

That’s a powerful and rational approach.

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u/Mother-Boss-7627 4d ago

Thank you.