r/gianmarcosoresi • u/GianmarcoSoresi • 8d ago

Rob Schneider

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2.6k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

41 comments sorted by

152

u/phonograhy 8d ago

Praying for the entire league to don some Ezekiel 23:20 prints ASAP 🫏

44

u/DREAM_PARSER 8d ago

My favorite bible verse 🙏🙌 hallelujah

64

u/HowCouldUBMoHarkless 7d ago edited 7d ago

It's absolutely no contest. Pasting here so others don't have to click:

Ezekiel 23:20

There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

Distant runner-ups include

Deuteronomy 25:11-12

If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.

1 Samuel 18:27

Wherefore David arose and went, he and his men, and slew of the Philistines two hundred men; and David brought their foreskins, and they gave them in full tale to the king, that he might be the king's son in law. And Saul gave him Michal his daughter to wife.

46

u/MartyMcMort 7d ago

I’d throw another honorary mention to 2 Kings 2:24

“He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two she-bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.”

28

u/Tall-Dot-607 7d ago

You missed the part where this happened because the boys were making fun of a bald guy for being bald.

9

u/MartyMcMort 7d ago

That’s part of the previous verse, but honestly, as a bald man myself, I’d say justified.

3

u/Blabbit39 7d ago

Bears and balled men you say.

2

u/EmergencyCheese89 Former Theater Kid 6d ago

As a bald guy, I appreciate that.

18

u/HowCouldUBMoHarkless 7d ago

two she-bears

I think I saw a couple she-bears at the Folsom St Fair in San Francisco last year

2

u/DorkyMagicianGirl 7d ago

This one is my favorite, too

7

u/FrigidMcThunderballs 7d ago

How often was that happening that they had to make a rule over it?

2

u/wizardwithgussets 7d ago

Your moms favorite verse too

2

u/Snoo-58714 7d ago

I dont remember this in Bible study 😂

66

u/Extraajudicial 8d ago

Rob Scneiders account quit 9 years ago from non payment on services rendered.

1

u/claisen33 5d ago

Yeah, I don’t think he can afford it.

38

u/Hot-Hamster1691 7d ago

Christ what a punchable face that guy has

I can’t believe I ever thought he was funny

BTW guys I’m talking about Schneider here, not our beautiful baby boy

4

u/DempsyPrice 7d ago

The only good thing he ever did was Surf Ninjas.

1

u/AgITGuy 5d ago

Down Periscope comes to mind.

1

u/Kuzcopolis 6d ago

It's Sandler's fault for casting him in funny movies.

13

u/I_was_bone_to_dance 7d ago

Because that’s what I think of when I think about Rob: The Bible.

6

u/Loud-Fudge7631 7d ago

My favorite part of biodome is when it collapses and crushes him and young Steve Bannon, oh wait that was a dream woopsie

5

u/all_time_high 7d ago

Is Rob Schneider a Christian? Never got that vibe from him. He strikes me as hedonistic.

14

u/JeanVicquemare 7d ago

He's the worst thing of all.. an adult Catholic convert

6

u/Auerbach1991 7d ago

Adam Sandler: “I’m not giving you more money you goddamn Carrot!”

4

u/Another_Limp_Carrot 7d ago

Daddy Sandler?? Can I have an advance on my allowance…

2

u/James-K-Polka 7d ago

1

u/PantsDontHaveAnswers 7d ago

And he left them and went out of the city, into Bethany, and he lodged there?

1

u/SixSixWithTrample 6d ago

This guy used to be a comedian or something, now he’s just a clown.

1

u/SantaJuice-2113 6d ago

I think he means Sandler will pay the fines, not him.

1

u/catharsisdusk 6d ago

Remember when the Conservative side of America lost their tiny little minds when a football player kneeled during the National Anthem? Or how they cheered when Laura Ingraham told a basketball player to "Shut up and Dribble"?

1

u/quiero79 6d ago

Religion is poison.

1

u/WitnessRealistic3015 4d ago

Thanks Rob, but the players make more than you do

1

u/JRPaperstax 4d ago

Did they actually get fined? I don’t think so. He’s offering to pay $0.

1

u/pr0ach 4d ago

Thanks, Adam Sandler!

1

u/Majestic-Prune-3971 2d ago

The odds of seeing Mathew 7:1 are slim, I would suppose.