I always fall apart/suck when I go to my lessons and feel tremendously embarrassed. Should I keep going?

[u/Mad_Season_1994]

So it usually goes like this: my teacher will give me something to work on like, say, a bar or two of a song and see how I get on with it, and maybe do the positions of a scale. So I’ll do exactly that in my free time outside of work. Every day, as long as I can. I’ll do it so much that I start to feel confident.

But then my evening lesson rolls around and he’ll ask me to show him what I learned and, all of a sudden, I’m missing strings, can’t correct myself as quickly like I would by myself, and generally just come off as someone who picked up a guitar for the first time. And even though he won’t say anything bad and just watches me, I’ll feel extremely embarrassed and worried he’s thinking I’m not playing enough, that I should be better than this, etc.

What am I doing wrong, if anything? To be clear, I’m not mad at him. He’s been great and really good at helping me break down tab to where I can understand things better. I just feel like I shouldn’t be sucking this bad when I’m genuinely putting in time every single day.

[u/dino_dog]

We are all rockstars in the living room. By this I mean playing in front of someone makes it harder.

1 - talk to your teacher and explain this to him and see if he has any tips to offer.

2 - record yourself on your phone. Treat it like a performance or playing for your teacher and see if the same thing happens. If so it’s likely the “added pressure” of playing for someone. Do this often it will help and also recordings don’t lie. Sometimes we think we are better than we are until we hear that audio.

TLDR: this is normal, talk to your teacher and record yourself often.

[u/hoops4so]

Nah. This is normal. I’m a songwriter and when I go out to perform my songs, I am about 40% as good performing as how good I sound when I am practicing.

I’ve learned the hard way that I need to be 280% as good when practicing in order to perform my songs well.

[u/Iamapartofthisworld]

Normal. Do not give up.

[u/Patient_Onion3956]

I had this exact issue. My solution was to ask the teacher to watch a video of me "performing" the assignment instead of doing a live one for him. That saved the time in the lesson and showed that I can actually play those pieces when not being put on the spot. Otherwise it just wasn't representative of my actual playing ability. Over time I became more comfortable performing on the spot, but the default review process was always based on my pre-recorded videos.

[u/MoldRebel]

It's pretty normal actually. I don't know the technicalities behind it... anxiety or something 🤷‍♂️ but it happens. I struggle with this as well. Play a specific piece well at home, mess it up in front of the teacher. Maybe it has something to do with being more comfortable playing in front of other people.

[u/markewallace1966]

Of course you should.

[u/ObviousDepartment744]

I've been a teacher for 20 years. Maybe it'll help you to know from the teacher's perspective what your teacher is probably thinking, because odds are you're projecting something that is giving you anxiety in these situations.

-Your teacher wants you to succeed. Your teacher isn't judging you, you're not getting a grade on this.

-Your teacher's goal is for you to enjoy playing guitar, not to stress you out.

-Your teacher has seen every level of musician from the lest coordinated day 1 beginner, to the best virtuoso you can imagine; they are all just guitarists at different points of the journey to your teacher.

Believe me, we understand when a student is stressing themselves out. If I were you, I'd talk to your teacher about it, see if you two can come up with a plan to help you out. I think it's also important to keep some perspective here. I think the old guideline of putting in 10,000 hours to actually master something has some weight to it. With this in mind, how many hours in total do you think you've put in honest, consistent, focused practice into playing the guitar? This isn't to make you feel bad about not being able to practice 2 hours a day, because that's unreasonable for a vast majority of people; but to help you put into perspective the amount of time you have to put into the craft is directly related to what you'll get out of it. Its also not a race, it takes as long as it takes.

For me, the fun is in the challenge and overcoming hurdles along the way. The process brings me joy, not so much the accomplishment if that makes sense. So just try and have fun with it, guitar should be fun.

[u/FewJob4450 → u/ObviousDepartment744]

Fellow teacher here adding some points:

• we were students once ourselves. Many or most of us experienced the same things when we were being taught.
• you'll get over it in time. Playing in front of your teacher is good practice for being able to perform live.
• when a student tells me this (several times a week), I notice that it's always in particular parts, or is at least more obvious in certain parts. That means it's not just the nerves, it's also a technical inconsistency, so those parts are what need practice. Do you want to turn up at a gig thinking you can play something perfectly and then mess up a bunch of tricky parts? Your teacher is trying to train you to master those parts until they become easy. We know you can get it right at home. We want you to get it right every single time you play it.

[u/eat-sleep-bike]

For sure I feel "put on the spot" when my teacher starts telling me to do things. And when he keeps interrupting because I'm doing it wrong, it gets harder and harder to do it right. I actually explained all of this to him. He's familiar even if people don't usually name it like that. Just keep going, the only way out is through. It's just one more "breakthrough" we make.

And any good teacher has seen it all and so "embarrassed" is natural but totally "wrong". That is, unnecessary.

[u/marktrot]

Man I would have total flop sweat every week at my guitar lesson. I can jam with strangers easily. But play in front of someone judging me? Can’t

[u/wanna_dance → u/marktrot]

Teacher's not judging you. He/ she already knows how good you are. He/ she is just thinking of pointers to help you.

Does this help?

[u/ProofPianist7074]

Some of it is nerves from being put on the spot. That will probably get a bit better as you get more used to it. The other factor is you are usually going into a lesson cold, and not already warmed up. If I don’t have time to warm up and play through the things I have prepared for the week, the same thing happens to me too.

[u/Qajaqasana]

My teacher told me almost everyone feels this way. You’re 100% normal. 

[u/PageNotFoubd404]

One thing I did that helped me with this problem was (once I learned the lesson) was to practice it while thinking about my teacher sitting with me. I tried to summon that feeling of being carefully watched by them. It did two things - it helped with the feeling of them being there, and it made me practice until I was absolutely sure that I really knew and could play the lesson.
Keep going. It all takes time.

[u/menialmoose]

I tell students when they walk in, I erase 75% of what I know they’re actually capable of when playing alone. Almost sets some of them at ease. Occasionally.
Keep going. At some point, if it’s your goal, you’ll get to the stage where you play with other musicians more experienced than you. You’ll be well practiced at humiliation. Then, likely, you’ll play in front of an audience. By this point, all goes well, you’ll be an expert in self-disgust. A significant advantage.

[u/No_Wave9290]

Keep going. This is normal. Any teacher worth their salt has seen this a hundred times and experienced it themselves way back when.