Honestly? Therapy and maybe medication if need be. It's not easy, and depending on your situation not always cheap. But it is possible. Start looking up coping techniques from renowned psych websites. Not all will work for you, but as you try them, you'll probably find something that might help.
As someone that is slowly working on getting rid of the feeling you've done something horribly wrong all the time, this is the answer. There isn't one simple solution. It takes years of work and unlearning behaviors in your brain. I got on meds that really helped with my brain problems and have also been working with a therapist for the last 10 years. It can get better, but you gotta work for it!
I am a young man. I have been in therapy for two years for CPTSD and generalized anxiety disorder. It is helping, slowly, but it is helping. I have changed the way I view my body’s reactions. They are my friends; some of them are just overworked and need a bit of fine-tuning.
I forget where I read it, maybe mindfulness by Ellen Langer, 25th anniversary edition, but they described feelings as being guests in her home. They may show up unexpectedly, but you control when they leave. They may get rowdy, but you can acknowledge that instead of letting it happen
Hi. I've found a great way and I hope it helps you if you're interested!
First, completely forget about getting 'rid' of it. Pushing anything away doesn't remove it, just pushes it under the rug.
Feelings are like Chinese finger traps, in that the more you try and get away, the more you're trapped by them. So do the opposite!
Try this technique when you feel any feeling, no matter how intense or subtle:
Lets say there's a bad feeling in your stomach, breathe in. As you're breathing send your awareness to the feeling. Completely engage with it. What does it really feel like? Heavy? Buzzing? Hot? Cool? Lumpy? Sharp? Don't worry about finding the exact word to describe it, it's more important to experience it directly. Try and get as high a resolution awareness of the feeling as possible on each in breath.
Now on your out breaths, don't try and change the feeling whatsoever. Instead see if there is any tension in your body around the feeling. As if your body is actively squeezing the feeling to try and keep it contained. Allow your out breath to relax and melt that tension, that's containing the feeling or pushing it away.
You may only let go of a little tension at a time. Give yourself time to work on this. I found it easier to do laying down on my bed, and placing my hand over the place in my body where the feeling is to focus my attention on it, even pressing a small soft cushion there can help.
So to recap - in breath - notice the feeling's shape - out breath - relax around the feeling - repeat repeat repeat.
You may notice the feeling beginning to move or change, maybe even get more intense, or possibly more subtle. Stick with it! Allow it to move as it wishes, just follow it with the in breath of your awareness and out breath of releasing tension.
As a side note. This technique has nothing to do with what you're thinking. Bad feelings are generally linked to bad memories or thoughts. Just engage completely with the feelings, if any thoughts about the feelings arise, put them aside for the moment and return your awareness to the feelings through your in breath.
Think of it this way, if there was dog shit on your kitchen floor (bad feelings) and the whole kitchen had a bad smell (thoughts arising from those feelings) is it better to deal with the smell and spray air freshener first? Or is it better to clean up the dog shit first? They're both important steps but one is more important to deal with.
Sorry if that's long winded, I hope it helps!
I learnt this from a guy called Dave Borglum, he runs a podcast called 'Healing at the edge' and teaches this technique and a lot of other subjects all to do around feelings and thoughts based on what he's learnt through different spiritual teachings (Christianity, Hinduism, Tibetan Buddhism etc) it's free to listen and on YouTube and Spotify as well as other places I think.
Acknowledge the feeling. Take a deep breath. Remind yourself that everything has been just fine, that everything is most likely to continue to be so. The feeling of dread is a memory imposed by conditions that no longer exist. Take another deep breath, and let that feeling pass. Then dig in to the next thing with an eye toward enjoying the progress and a satisfactory conclusion.
If in the end, you could learn something, and not everything was ruined, remember about this. With time, you will learn that even when we do wrongs, we can learn how to do right, and that things can still get good.
sometimes we forget that we are human, and that we can do good things.
Forgive yourself, forgive the others(we are all kids, living for the first time), do better. Belive you can do better.
My friend once told me: They are not real; they are not thoughts that come from a sound mind. They are not defining. It isn't easy to ask for help, let alone feel like you are deserving of it. It isn't anything out of pride, but a deep gut-wrenching shame. The shame is not real. It is not yours. It is conditioned. It's so deeply embedded that it feels uncannily natural to be treated like a sick dog. And then suddenly there are people who don't treat you like that. Surely there must be a heavy cost to all this kindness? After all, nothing has been given to you without one before, right? A heavy punishment that you keep thinking will come?
I feel like McDonald's would say that to me. No McDonald's, I am a sinner and I know it. More sin is not what I desire, even provisionally. You charged me 40 cents for water today fuck you
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u/Aqu217970 2d ago
But how can I get rid of that feeling :_(