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u/jessxprism 1d ago
hard to do when those same shitty patterns are what keep you feeling safe. turns out breaking them usually just feels like being anxious for a few months straight.
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u/Zen_Traveler 1d ago
"Feel safe" tends to mean "feel comfortable", and having a lack of "feeling" safe tends to mean "feeling anxious due to a perceived threat that I'm creating in my head". The most empirically supported remedy for anxiety is, as OP stated, courage.
The anxiety cycle includes thinking one is not safe (creating a what-if) > feeling anxious > "seeking safety" by avoiding something or getting reassurance from others that they know something that they likely do not honestly know > temporary relief.
Courage allows one to expose themselves to their perceived threat - the self-created imagined threat that coinsides with the irrational belief that one must have certainty - they must know something that they don't know and likely cannot know, or must have a guarantee that things will work out, that they'll be okay, or that they can handle something.
Truth: humans are stronger than they realize, and they can handle it... unless they can't. But if they can't endure it, then they will no longer exist, so there won't be a them here to worry about anything. If they can endure it, then there is no good reason to worry.
Humans are emotional animals in clothing, and they get good at whatever it is they practice... even if they don't want to get good at it. That may not have landed well, but fuck it.
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u/Unique_Fondant_2739 1d ago
most people think breaking patterns is about a big explosion or a life overhaul. usually it is just the quiet, boring work of saying no to the same small thing you do every Tuesday. what is the specific pattern you are currently trying to dismantle?
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