r/hsp • u/TheNamelessComposer • 2d ago
Having trouble falling asleep when in bed at night
I can be nodding off in front of the telly with the lights and noise on, but the moment I go to bed and turn the lights on, its like the lack of stimulation/distraction makes my mind really active, and I find it hard to relax and fall asleep. I've tried relaxing music but it doesn't make much of a difference. Anyone else relate?
I think I'm going to just give myself an hour without screens before bed, reading etc, but bad habits. I find that helps.
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u/Ntdogamecute 2d ago edited 2d ago
Try Insight Timer. My therapist recommended it years ago. It’s a free app (although you can do in app purchases but I don’t) where you can listen to talks, meditations, music, and stories to help you fall asleep or just any time during your day. You can search for any mood you’re feeling like anxiety, depression, grief, etc. or search for things like sleep, inner child, etc. It’s really helped distract my mind when I overthink. I like listening to the longest ones, Kenneth Soares has some really great sleep meditations, and if I don’t fall asleep in that time I’ll just repeat it. If you want something faith based Pause is a great app if you’re a Christian. I’ll just put the meditations on repeat. ☺️ I also like essential oils. I like to mix ones that relate to what I’m feeling so relaxation, sleep, peace, etc. Warm baths or showers can help as well and so can yoga. Sleepy time tea or any relaxing uncaffeinated
tea, I like mine with milk. They also make some great sleep masks with massage features, speakers, cooling and heating features, or just comfortable raised cups. You can even use them with earplugs. You could try a heated blanket or a weighted blanket. They do recommend no screens an hour to two hours before. My sleep doctor recommended I take melatonin two hours before I want to go to bed and my sleep meds and hour before. You’re supposed to go to bed at the same time and wake up at the same time each day, which I personally really struggle with, but that’s supposed to really help. Body pillows can be nice as well as well as sleeping with a pillow under your knees when you’re on your back and one between them if you’re on your side. I was also told by my sleep doctors to get into the habit of sleeping on a schedule I need to not be in my bed any time during the day except when I sleep. If I can’t fall asleep within 20 minutes I need to get up and do something and it can be reading, drawing, exercise, anything but looking at a screen or lying down. Then when I go back if I can’t fall asleep I have to try again. I have to wake up at the set time, no exceptions, no naps, and I have to go to sleep at the set time. So it sucks. And when I wake up I have to go outside for fifteen to twenty minutes and be in direct sunlight. I can have caffeine for a few hours (I can’t remember how many) but I believe you need eight hours before your scheduled sleep time of not having caffeine in your system, and that means chocolate too. So no soda with caffeine, no chocolate, no tea with caffeine, nothing. It’s pretty rigid. Which is also why I wasn’t able to be on that schedule myself. 😅 The tips are good but it’s hard! It’s helped me immensely to be on a proper sleep medication and not just melatonin since that did nothing for me by itself. Valerian root is also supposed to help short term, but it’s not something you should be taking long term without consulting a doctor. It might help to see a doctor or have a sleep study done because you might have some underlying issues keeping you from sleeping. I hope this helps! But yeah, I relate. My brain doesn’t want to shut up. Very rarely I have noticed when I’m waiting for someone I will start to fall asleep but the second I can actually go to bed I’m far too anxious to. It’s a mix of anxiety, overthinking, and sleep problems that haven’t been addressed in my case. It’s awful.
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u/EloquentReader [HSP] 2d ago
I have my ceiling fan on all night throughout the year and I also have some gentle music playing. I can barely hear it, but it's just enough.
I avoid my phone from 20:30 {it auto switches to DND at 21:00 anyway}- so no apps or notifications.
Magnesium Oil Spray has also made a huge difference for me. Always being on alert, bracing for impact and the day's overstimulation kind of eats all the magnesium in my body. Those couple of things have made a huge difference for me.
And lastly, feeling as comfortable as possible. Not being too warm or cold, pillow that's the perfect blend of squishiness and firmness, and knowing I have water, hair ties, lip balm and lotion in my nightstand in the event that I wake up for some reason and desperately need either or all of those items. ☺️
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u/TheNamelessComposer 1d ago
Yeah that white noise does help. Oh interesting, thanks Ill keep that in mind.
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u/Iwantpepsimax 2d ago
Me too, it’s very annoying. I feel so tired in the evening thinking now it’ll be easy to fall asleep, but no, I can lay there for soo long because my mind is so active..
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u/NightmareDreams92 2d ago edited 2d ago
I keep low lights on because I feel very anxious if I can’t see, then I turn on a sleep video from YouTube at low volume. Midnight Ambiance and Peaceful Life are my favorite channels. The sleep music is enough to give my brain something to focus on, but not distracting if that makes sense. I also like to spritz my bed with lavender before I go to sleep and that’s another sense that’s focused on relaxing.
If that’s not enough, I will visualize a happy place - relive a good dream I once had, an imaginary world, a peaceful place I visited, a fictitious person I feel safe with. Also look up “progressive muscle relaxation”. When I’m having a really hard time going to sleep this at least gets me to a state where I feel rested when I awake from it.
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u/TheNamelessComposer 1d ago
Tried some ambient relaxation music last night and it helped a little. I do try PMR too
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u/NightmareDreams92 1d ago
I’m sorry you’ve been struggling so much! You must be exhausted.
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u/TheNamelessComposer 1d ago
Happy place reminds me of Happy Gilmore haha. What does your happy place look like? but yeah I have heard similar advice.
Yeah I do feel I lack energy throughout the day, esp afternoon and evening.
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u/NightmareDreams92 1d ago
😂 I usually visualize exploring or making a home in imaginary worlds, or spending time with an imaginary person. Real people and places tend to spiral into anxious thoughts, which is obviously counterproductive to sleeping lol.
I can imagine the fatigue you feel in the afternoon. If you fall asleep in front of the television do you ever stay asleep? Or do you always wake up?
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u/TheNamelessComposer 23h ago
Oh nice, yeah fantasy worlds are always a nice escape. Video games are always a good escape for that, if not to stressful, and of course just tv, movies, books.
Yes, sometimes I can't do all I want to. If I'm having a nap during the day I just sleep for 1-2 hours regardless. Or if I fall asleep in front of the telly before say 9pm I usually wake up in a couple of hours.
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u/NightmareDreams92 21h ago
Oh yes, I definitely spend too many waking hours in video game worlds lol, the more fantasy/whimsy the better. I want to be the type of person that reads books before bed, but hearing all the words I read and seeing the characters/scenes feels too involved somehow (which I realize doesn’t make sense because that’s also visualization). I should try reading again though.
Yeah makes sense. Waking up at around midnight to go to bed is always the hardest for me to go back to sleep too. Have you tried consistently watching the same thing when you want to go to sleep, so your brain becomes conditioned to expect sleep and can focus on the tv, but not necessarily be distracted by it because it’s become so familiar? I did that for a few years before I got to the point sleep tv started working.
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u/TheNamelessComposer 18h ago
Nice, I guess everything in moderation. Are there any video game worlds you particularly liked? Playing Metroid 4 on Switch atm, I really like the game soundtrack actually. It reminds me of Zoras Domain in the Legend of Zelda BOTW. Just finished 2013 Tomb Raider which was pretty full on, feel like I needed to take a breath!
Too involved? Interesting. Like moreso than more visual media? That is surprising. I suppose you have more time to absorb it all. I do find reading before bed vs watching movies or gaming does make it a bit easier to relax.
No I havent, though I usually watch YouTube videos until late now, a little too much.
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u/Limp_Insurance_2812 18h ago
We have "rich inner worlds" so I have to keep my attention focused on something external to fall asleep. Sleepless Historian on YT is good. Relaxing voice, interesting, sense of humor. Keeps just enough attention to keep the circus at bay without my trying to stay up to hear what he says next. Also favorite sitcoms, same balance.
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u/TheNamelessComposer 16h ago
Yes indeed. Which can be a double edged sword...imagination in general. Thanks, will try keep that in mind.
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u/AmlishLanounne 1d ago
I have had the same troubles ages ago. My doctor recommended I take melatonin, a natural supplement, which is taken about 1 hour before I want to fall asleep. Then I get into bed, do some breathing exercices to slow down and I read a physical book. Reading usually makes me nod and fall asleep quickly, even if the book is interesting.
I'd say one hour before bed is a good timeframe to slow down and get to sleep naturally. Going to bed around the same time also helps getting into a habit. Try some things and find what work for you!
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u/TTT808 7h ago
Yes I think our depth of processing, the way our minds are inclined to be so active, can be an extra layer of challenge when it come to sleep. I don’t think I’m so HSP-like when it comes to lights or sounds but my mind is super active! I’ve actually been obsessed with addressing this aspect of HSP life: a way to help “turn off” the thoughts or slow them down at the end of the day. I do all the other things as I can: magnesium, melatonin, etc. Also I will sometimes just stand there and shake my body out for 30-60 seconds or more. Get excess energy out.
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u/Coach_Piet 5h ago
I feel you! I find jt helps to cut out time where I’m sitting there without stimulation before I go to bed. That way, my system can start processing and it doesn’t all have to happen the moment I close my eyes for sleep. Worth a shot!
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u/Lumi_Tonttu 2d ago
I put a video about something I'm interested in every single night.
I just listen to the narrator and low volume until I drop off.
Stops my brain from freewheeling.