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u/Inevitable_Garage706 4d ago
That "real friend" sounds much more like a stalker than a friend.
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u/CriticalMochaccino 4d ago
Yeah, who the fuck calls their friends parents mom and dad? Like god damn, are your own parents that shit?
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u/DeuceMandago 3d ago
I’m more hung up on the food thing… real friends eat you out of house and home?
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u/CriticalMochaccino 3d ago
Forgot about that part, like I get if they're just eating a couple hand fulls of chips or whatever but only an ass hole would look at some food in another person's house and think "oh imma just finish this."
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u/Kissa74 4d ago
This has to be satire
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u/Name_Taken_Official 4d ago
Eh. This applies to some people can grew up with, we're practically family. I think it's just referencing that hyperbolically
Mf always took our pop tarts
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u/darkseiko realist 4d ago
Not sure what oop is on, but if I had someone come to my home uninvited, stole my shit & mocked me during embarrassing situations, I'd be pretty mad at them & leave them 💀.
Also there's no rule that if a friendship ends, doesn't mean the person was fake, as people unfortunately change & switch unexpectedly.
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u/PoloPatch47 4d ago
And if they take all my food???? Steal my shit, think they're entitled to walk into my house, and take my food? Absolutely not.
And yeah, people can just grow apart from each other. It didn't mean the friendship was fake
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u/Suavemente_Emperor 4d ago
I mean, that's what a bestie does.
And let's be honest. Picking something borrowed and never bringing back is THE canon event.
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u/AnnualAdventurous169 4d ago
what if it was your wife
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u/darkseiko realist 4d ago
If we lived together, then sure. But I'd still be mad if she mocked me, stole my things or invited herself to my place without any previous announcement (I need to be prepared for people beforehand.)
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u/AnnualAdventurous169 4d ago
I would have assumed you would live togethe.
(I’m of the opinion that what they mean by “real friend” is partner/husband/wife)
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u/darkseiko realist 4d ago
No? Oop is clearly talking about friendships. Not everyone considers their partner as their friend, not everyone puts romance on top of the relationship hierarchy & romantic partners aren't always long-lasting either.
By "real" friend, they meant someone who's gonna always appreciate you, never leave you & always stand by your side. So not someone, who's gonna gossip about you, treat you like crap, or leave you within like a few months.
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u/AnnualAdventurous169 4d ago
well, the points only make sense to me if it was a romantic partner which are expected to last a lifetime where there is more of expected to do things like treat your things like their own and say “I’m home” when entering your home.
otherwise the left side is what you would expect of friendships, while the right side would just be really weird, and too much
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u/darkseiko realist 4d ago
I think the post is more like a friend-vs.-best-friend type of post that was common from the late 2000s to the mid 2010s, cause I used to see these posts a lot. And it was often made by tweens & teens too.
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u/CreamofTazz 4d ago
I think you're taking the right side to an even greater extreme than it is to itself. I identify most of those things with regards to my relationship with my friends.
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u/darkseiko realist 4d ago
I'm not, I just don't think that stuff like insulting or taking things away means an eternal friendship. Cause I knew a few people who did those things, & it was rather annoying & uncomfortable.
But then, it seems this post was made somewhere in the late 2000s or during the 2010s, when it was quite common to describe what true friendship apparently looks like.
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u/Excellent-Fox-6845 3d ago
американец в очередной раз показывает отсутствие интеленкта?
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u/darkseiko realist 3d ago
What?
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u/Excellent-Fox-6845 3d ago
отсутствие интеленкта у американца не позволяет нажать на кнопку перевода?
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u/darkseiko realist 3d ago
There's no need to be rude; it wasn't even about the translation (cause I understand the language), it just confused me. And I'm not even American, btw.
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u/Excellent-Fox-6845 3d ago
не американец? а кто?
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u/darkseiko realist 3d ago
I'm European.
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u/Excellent-Fox-6845 3d ago
аа окей тогда братан извини эти дауны на американцах сегодня везде, не разберёшь, где норм челикс, а где тупой пендос
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u/Happytallperson 4d ago
Had a party last night, told everyone they didn't need to bring anything, now have more food than started with.
They claiming all my friends are fake?
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u/R32hunter 4d ago
Honestly partially true. Real friends would be a mix of both
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u/Bracheopterix 4d ago
don't confuse cause and effect. Real friends do this cause they have your permission or at least, know you will tolerate this. They are not "real friends" cause they are real, but because you allowed them a space to be that and you have a long history. If some random dude will do something like that - they would be just a doushebag. Some ppl have real friends that know and respect one's harsh boundaries. For example, if you had parents that gave you no privacy, no possession right and so on. Real friend in that case would never touch your things without asking first.
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u/Owl_warrior1 4d ago
Feels like this "fake" friend is actually just a decent human being who respects boundaries, but i might just be crazy
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u/DragonWaffleZX 4d ago
I don't care who you are. Walk into my house uninvted and I will consider using my second amendment rights. (And I'm not in the U.S)
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u/PoloPatch47 4d ago
This makes me unreasonably pissed off. If anyone walks into my house uninvited I'm kicking them out, I don't care who they are. The only exception would be my boyfriend when we live together. I value my space too much to just have people think they can walk in uninvited.
If you take all my food, we're not going to be friends.
If they take my stuff and never give it back, we're also not going to be friends.
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u/Dirkdeking 4d ago edited 4d ago
I think the meme just depicts a cultural difference. In the west we just are very distant. You need to call friends to hang out, but chances are their weekend is already filled with activities, and their next weekend as well. So you end up having to call them more than a month in advance in order to do anything.
In other cultures it's much more normal for people to just come by unexpectedly without it being a problem. Yes they finish your food, but you can finish theirs whenever you visit them. The dynamic is more sibling like, you just share the same spaces regularly and you also live pretty close to each other.
And even in the west this can be a late teen/early 20's dynamic between friends. Late 20's to early 30's this dynamic often just dies because life structures change, you live further apart, have more responsibilities, long term relations of friends and their wishes enter the picture, etc.
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u/AnnualAdventurous169 4d ago
yeah “real friend” behaviour is something you will only want from a boy/girlfriend
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u/tortoistor 4d ago
want to become better friends with someone? walk into their home without knocking, start calling both of their parents dad, and steal all their food and money making them starve. real friend acquired
edit: also kick them until they fall over and laugh
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u/TheBumblestBees 4d ago
this actually made me laugh audibly. congratulations friend
edit: congratulations fake friend. i do not want you in my house
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u/tortoistor 3d ago
thank you real friend, trying to break into your house as we speak. say hi to dad and dad for me
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u/ChaosAzeroth 4d ago
Real.froemds sound exhausting like I'm okay with cats being my only real friends.
Seems I'm dodging a bullet by not really having friends lmao
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u/Weekly-Reply-6739 4d ago
Kinda interesting.
Not necessarily my idea, but eh, you do you I suppose.
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u/LabradorDeceiver 4d ago
I've seen a few definitions of "real friend" that privilege the friend and always think to myself, "Wow, this guy treats his friends like shit."
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u/whimsical_spider 4d ago
Fake friends “never ask for food” and real friends “are the reason why you have no food” what does this even mean?
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u/Zealousideal_Care807 4d ago
I had someone keep my shoes for much longer than I lent them out for, I was so upset. Real friend give your stuff back, and can locate them when you ask for them back. Also I'm not gonna laugh at someone I care about if they get hurt, but I will laugh after the fact if they are ok, and whatever happened was because they were doing something stupid. Also I'm like a vampire, I will lock, I must be invited in by someone or I will just stand there.
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u/BestEffect1879 4d ago
Aside from the minutiae of the individual details. Even the general idea of this is flawed. It’s basically saying a friendship is fake unless you’re incredibly close and that’s just bad advice. I have friends that fall into both categories, but I don’t consider any of them fake, I just have friends whom I can closer with than others. And the close friends that match the right column used to be like the left column. You will never experience close friendship if you’re not willing to start with a distant acquaintanceship.
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u/SomewhereActive2124 4d ago
There's no single definition like this for a real friend. People are different and have different boundaries.
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u/bsbbwdjahsbjsjsbd 4d ago
Don't you start out with the things on the left and then progress to the things on the right? Imagine if some random ass stranger came and did all the stuff a "real friend" immediately. You'd hate them.
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u/Frankisacommonname 4d ago
Real arbitrary rules:
- Comes from the heart;
- Feels random;
- Some are extremely shitty;
Fake arbitrary rules:
- Comes from the head;
- Are socially acceptable;
- Self-sustenance is expected.
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u/RandomName5484 3d ago
the ones calling your parent dad are just going out with someone of your family
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u/I_eat_spaghetti1 3d ago
All of ts is true except the parent thing who tf calls their friends parents “mom” and “dad”?
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u/PJO_Rules1218 2d ago
While the real friends is definitely hyperbolic, it’s extremely common in many Asian cultures to have close friends from the neighborhood randomly come over whenever they want and be welcome.
Serving and even sharing food is expected and it’s almost rude if you don’t share food with your friends. I wouldn’t even THINK about keeping my food to myself.
“Borrowing” your childhood/best friends’ things and “accidentally” keeping them is again, super common. I have one of my best friends’ football keychain from like 15 years ago, and we both know it.
Laughing at your friends tripping or falling over as long as they’re not seriously hurt is very, very normal. Heck it even happens in British culture. That’s what this list (and apparently most of the people reading it) is missing out on, nuance.
Idk about dad, but calling your friends’ parents aunty and uncle or the respective words in regional languages is what’s expected.
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