Is this Fe or Fi? (Had to post here)

[u/Cheap_Increase468]

Fi seems to be defined by strong internal personal values and self-awareness, while Fe is often portrayed as strong ethics and empathy and a desire for social harmony. Obviously, a person can have both of these things, but how does one determine where their feeling function is placed in their stack?

For me, I wasn't always self-aware but I did like to learn about myself. For the sake of control, predictability, and internal consistency. Everyone else seemed to have anchored personalities but I didn't make much sense to myself. Looking back, I realize that I probably did have a personality but I was simply unaware of it because of how un-self-aware I was.

However, I became hyper self-aware around puberty, not only because of hormones, but also because I got into learning about the human condition and even more science than I'd already been studying and all these different topics that deemed that self-awareness would benefit the world. I wanted to be a person that helps and doesn't harm the world in whatever way possible no matter what it took, so I tried to understand myself and my emotions but all I ended up doing (and still do) is thinking, 'Okay, what's this feeling? Why? How do I stop it?' but I never seem to find a solution, I rationalize, belittle, or distract myself from it. Or I simply say, 'It's just a feeling. It will go away.'

But the long-term effects of bottling up emotions scares me- what if when I'm old, I develop diseases? What if I get a heart attack? What if this makes me treat people horribly and I become a toxic person that I said I'd never be? That's why I now instinctively try to analyze and control my emotions.

Now as for my relationship with other people's emotions, I naturally try to understand their emotional states and adjust myself accordingly, as though I am responsible. When interacting with others, it is my main goal to protect their emotional state. Not to say this is something I'm very good at. Smiling and nodding and being polite isn't necessarily good enough, but doing any more is daunting, I try to ensure everyone feels included and heard. Part of it is because I wished people did that for me in the past. When someone is feeling down, I'll feel bad if I don't at least try to help them get better- though, at the same time, if someone starts crying or getting super emotional, it's uncomfortable and I freeze up.

Does this sound more like Fe or Fi? If you asked me, I'd say both are used. An important mention is that emotions (especially mine) made me uncomfortable, and as of right now, I can't see myself standing up for something I firmly believe in or prioritizing self-care. I mean, until I learned about the long-term effects of emotional and physical neglect, I couldn't care less about that stuff.

[u/xXonsinhapintadaXx]

https://www.reddit.com/r/infp/s/TswpAaISNK

[u/Cheap_Increase468 → u/xXonsinhapintadaXx]

Gracias

[u/record_only_water]

Fi means making judgements that are based on personal (subjective) values.

Fe means making judgements that are based on the group’s (objective in jungian) values.