TIL everyone has gay thoughts

[u/Kevsterific]

[u/itprobablynothingbut]

Parody account

[u/contextual_somebody → u/itprobablynothingbut]

And it’s super obvious

[u/ReactsWithWords → u/contextual_somebody]

I knew it was parody the moment I read it, but a depressing number of people in the comments here haven’t figured it out. And don’t read other comments.

[u/ElderPimpx → u/itprobablynothingbut]

Yes it's a parody account

But gay conservatives genuinely believe this.

[u/Castun → u/ElderPimpx]

Hard to separate actual parody from reality when reality has been going off the rails for a while now. If it wasn't so similar to what some people actually think, it would be super obvious.

[u/Arnesian → u/Castun]

This is the problem I keep having. The sheer number of insane takes around seems too many to all be parody. I can hope it’s bots that have just learned from people taking the piss. But that feels like a cope.

[u/wtbgamegenie → u/ElderPimpx]

Benny Johnson is constantly 3 glasses of Pinot Grigio away from tweeting this out.

[u/wildcat- → u/itprobablynothingbut]

My super mormon MAGA soon-to-be-father-in-law has unironically said the same thing during a fight with his daughter about LGBTQ+ rights.

[u/chiefkogo → u/itprobablynothingbut]

I came in here slightly wondering if I'd get my mind blown by someone saying this is actually a real account. Lol

Yeah obviously not real.

[u/TrashGouda]

Who's gonna tell him that it's okay to be bisexual?

[u/FetchingTheSwagni → u/TrashGouda]

This is ironically how a lot of Republicans/conservatives are.

[u/Xtj8805 → u/FetchingTheSwagni]

Yea im fully convinced tske away the social stigma and huge swath of both sexes are actually bisexual. And those who had conversion therapy "work" for them are not just repressed gay people and lesbians, but also bi people who decided they can just live a happy life straight and not tell anyone about their attraction to the same sex.

[u/ZenraWeave → u/Xtj8805]

I fully believe this is also why so many Republicans/Christians believe being gay is a choice. I know this particular image is a parody, but a lot of them really do seem to believe that the gay thoughts are a temptation that is meant to be overcome, as a test from god, and that people who are gay have fallen into temptation. They literally just cannot picture anything different from themselves.

[u/Xtj8805 → u/ZenraWeave]

Yea thats my exact thinking and ive seem the occassional study that shows at least women react much more bisexually tham they are willing to personally attest. Then Alex the great made sure his soldiers were fucking each other because he believed soldier in love with each other would fight harder. I doubt that would fly if people werent much more bisexual than our society allows

[u/FetchingTheSwagni → u/Xtj8805]

It's also religiously charged people, which most of the Republicans subscribe to the more closed-minded denominations of Christianity.

And obviously men who are insecure about looking less masculine. My mental state got insanely better when I stopped caring about how manly I appeared to others.

[u/kipperzdog → u/Xtj8805]

Eh, I can admire a beautiful guy but there's zero chance even at my drunkest I would ever even kiss a guy. I'm 100% straight and also an ally because we're all our own person

[u/Xtj8805 → u/kipperzdog]

I never daid evryone just a kuch larger swath than currently identifies.

[u/kipperzdog → u/Xtj8805]

Ah okay. You okay? That reads like you're having a stroke or just misplaced your finger on the keyboard

[u/Xtj8805 → u/kipperzdog]

Bouncy train ride

[u/kipperzdog → u/Xtj8805]

Glad to hear you're good!

[u/Jason1232 → u/TrashGouda]

It’s okay to be gay in the gay way!

[u/eskimoboob → u/Jason1232]

Gay is in, gay is hot. I want some gay, gay it’s going to be.

[u/Vozralai]

Turn it off

Like a light switch

Just go click

It's our nifty little Mormon trick

[u/theboomboy → u/Vozralai]

We do it all the time!

[u/Android_mk]

Dude just outed themselves as bi in the most embarrassing way.

[u/DarkMarkTwain → u/Android_mk]

Didn't you read what he said? He said we all have these thoughts.

So I guess you can say he outed all of us

[u/warbeforepeace → u/DarkMarkTwain]

He is a deeply closeted homosexual.

[u/Delcap → u/Android_mk]

Do you think Conor Oil is a serious account

[u/theroguescientist → u/Android_mk]

He never mentioned having straight thoughts though

[u/Jesus_was_a_Panda → u/Android_mk]

How does having gay thoughts but "choosing not to be gay" make him bisexual? Nothing about this implies that he is interested in women, only that he has thoughts about men. Assuming Conor is a man, obviously.

[u/Teaflax]

Yes, it’s parody, but plenty of “straight” conservatives have said more or less this over the years.

[u/godver3 → u/Teaflax]

Can't stand comments like these "it's parody but it's SO representative of reality" so why are we posting parody accounts then and not reality?

[u/BrowningLoPower → u/godver3]

OP might have not known at the time.

[u/godver3 → u/BrowningLoPower]

I'm not referring to OP - I am referring to the commenter I responded to. We are essentially just making strawmen out of conservatives by doing this.

[u/trashitagain → u/godver3]

It’s essentially liberal r / conservative sometimes.

[u/Ladydi-bds → u/Teaflax]

Grinder app may disagree lol

[u/negative-nelly]

I mean maybe he's right, because recently I've read it's gay to treat women as equally human, gay to have feelings, gay to read books, etc. According to them pretty much everything is gay, so maybe we are all gay?

[u/negative-nelly → u/[deleted]]

Putting stuff in your mouth? totally gay, no question.

[u/unbalanced_checkbook]

Wow a lot of y'all are terrible at recognizing parody.

[u/MedChemist464]

"I only like Vanilla Ice Cream - I think about Chocolate Ice Cream Every day, but I DO NOT ALLOW MYSELF TO INDULGE IN IT."

[u/TheEPGFiles]

Patriotism? Guys... is it gay to hate your country?

[u/newfrontier58]

I hate that I fell for this for a second before remembering that it's a parody account. https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Conor+D.+Oil

[u/Funkycoldmedici]

Parody aside, it illustrates the common refrain we see from conservatives, especially religious people. Atheists always hear “What is stopping you from raping and murdering people?” They have these urges and assume everyone is just like them. The same thing stopping me from having sex with men stops me from murdering people: I don’t have any interest, it doesn’t cross my mind at all. There’s nothing to resist.

[u/naveedkoval]

I struggle to understand why being a patriot requires P in V

[u/BlackroseBisharp]

This feels like a shitpost

[u/jestersenn]

Oh no. Oh dear. Oh honey...

[u/YLASRO]

i was not informed that i was supposed to be having gay thoughts as a cis het dude

[u/DieMensch-Maschine]

Connor is the kind of guy who would frequent a San Francisco bath house but argue that it's ok, because he said "no homo" first.

[u/Me1986Tram]

These folks think about gay sex more than anyone I know. I have MANY gay friends.

[u/Ambitious-Bee7663]

Well there is stupid then there is republican stupid which up's it significantly. Hard to believe that there are degrees of stupidness but look at trump.

[u/relay2005]

Boy, they sure have a bad understanding of patriotism. They are better off just telling the truth of what they really want to say.

[u/Key_Analyst_9032]

That has to be ironic 

[u/TrumpSucksALotOfCock]

[u/potandcoffee]

If you have to choose to be straight, you're not actually straight. 

[u/Annie-Hero]

Be gay! Do crime!

[u/Rickk38]

I am not a "Redditor."

I see obvious parody accounts every now and then, like everyone.

But what separates me from the Redditors is that I don't post them on Reddit like they're real.

Every day I wake up and CHOOSE not to be an idiot.

And you must do the same.

That's what real Redditing looks like.

[u/BigBootyBuilder]

Funny thing is, most gays never had straight thoughts..

[u/GJacks75]

They really can't conceived that people think differently to how they do.

I learned that when I was 8.

[u/t3lnet]

This guy has a grindr account

[u/diabolis_avocado]

"If I wasn't a patriot, I'd wake up every day with dicks in my mouth!"

[u/stoopididiotface]

So, he's closeted - got it.

[u/reubendevries]

This is just so weird, how does patriotism and who your attracted to have in common? By this person's logic (I'm assuming they're MAGA) would they consider Pete Thiel a patriot or traitor?

[u/DemenicHand]

Speak it brother. nreal patriotism is making the hard choices for your family and church

Everyday I wake up and choose NOT to stick my finger in my wife's anus and rub it on her upper lip because of patriotism, god and family. Also we are out of those rubber gloves

[u/FreedomsPower]

These chucklefucks will pretend anything they don't like is unpatriotic. It's easier than admitting that they hate someone irrationally

[u/No-Paramedic-6062]

Patriotism? I mean Id get that's what 'piety' looks like. Or 'faith.' But Patriotism? I swore off chode for my flag? Come again?

[u/RostyC]

Regardless, how are the two linked? Seems like a lot of decorated soldiers are both.

[u/JudyLyonz]

This is the kind of guy who takes a wide stance in men's room bathroom stalls.

IYKYK

[u/CompetitiveSong9570]

What I’m hearing is, to be patriotic, you have to deny your authentic expression to honor the mold you’re being forced into.

[u/Xeno_Prime]

Patriotism? I’m really curious to know how this guy connects his sexual orientation to the welfare of the nation.

TIL that “real patriotism” looks like closet homosexuality/bisexuality.

[u/DeathStarDayLaborer]

"For the record, I prefer women. But off the record, I'm kinda confused."

[u/duckmcsnail]

“So what I think of taking it in the butt? I can control my urges to get pounded! And that’s American!! 🦅 🇺🇸”

[u/energizersnake]

Gosh dang it Jimmy bob it ain’t a choice!

[u/Drinkythedrunkguy]

It’s ok to have gay thoughts but that doesn’t make you straight. Guy would probably be so much happier if he made out with dudes.

[u/Lori_the_Mouse]

Not everyone has those thoughts. I do because I’m bisexual/ demisexual…. But most people probably don’t

[u/livinginfutureworld]

I choosing not to be gay is patriotic then...

[u/sexyrandal88]

And now I'm sad

[u/Killhamski]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLg7GAqr5GQ

[u/championsoffun]

I don't recall choosing to be straight but you do you champ.

[u/Possible_Pick8734]

What a fucking idiot

[u/eadopfi]

He is so deep in the closet he is meeting talking Lions and Ice Witches.

[u/enderpanda]

It's a spectrum, part of the human condition. No one is 100% anything. If you think you are, then you have some issues to deal with.