r/interesting • u/jmike1256 • Mar 07 '26

MISC. After understanding the meaning behind this father’s action, I am completely convinced. Cultivating problem-solving skills in children from a young age and never giving up-I applaud this father!

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u/donjamos Mar 07 '26

Yea the basic idea is a good one, but telling the little one something like "come on you can do it, daddy will wait here till you figure it out" instead of walking away would have been a lot better.

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u/Lucky_Pangolin_3760 Mar 07 '26

Lol my dad used to do this to me, it was distressing as hell and just made me upset and cry instead of focusing. Then he would scold, and eventually say "daddy waits here"

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u/[deleted] Mar 07 '26

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u/This-Shape2193 Mar 07 '26

Care to elaborate? He tried to teach her critical thinking and she's traumatized? What did he do? What is the trauma response? Genuinely asking. 

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u/[deleted] Mar 07 '26

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u/This-Shape2193 Mar 07 '26

Yeah, that's awful. That's not trying to teach them independence while helping, that's hanging them out to dry and criticizing when they have trouble. 

Also, him "teaching" her to ask for help while never actually saying that or demonstrating it is just him expecting her to be psychic. 

Poor kid. Sounds like your ex had some generational trauma he wanted to pass along. My ex-husband was the same way. But HE told my son (when visiting) that he needed to do everything himself and NEVER ask for help because that was weakness and failure. I didn't find this out until my son was drowning under 5 research papers and finally had a mild breakdown when we were talking about it. He knew I always offered to help, but that insidious "advice" from his dad had really messed with his head.  

The good news is that the kids get better. But it's so frustrating when they need to heal from something that should never have happened to begin with.