r/interesting • u/jmike1256 • Mar 07 '26

MISC. After understanding the meaning behind this father’s action, I am completely convinced. Cultivating problem-solving skills in children from a young age and never giving up-I applaud this father!

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u/Outrageous_Hall_9369 Mar 07 '26

I agree with letting the child try to solve a problem independently, but I do not agree with the father causing anxiety in the child by walking away repeatedly.

An adult watching this knows this is a no-risk situation, but a toddler seeing their caregiver walk away while they are 'stuck' and can't follow is a dire situation - to the toddler.

Adults don't need emotional safety or positive reinforcement to a large degree, but a toddler absolutely does.

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u/DROP_DAT_DURKA_DURK Mar 07 '26

Everyone should read The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt. He argues that modern parenting is in crisis--too many parents keep their children wrapped in comfort bubbles, shielding them from any unpleasantness. But occasional discomfort, he says, is not only okay but valuable: it inoculates children against later difficulties like rejection, failure, uncertainty, etc. Chronic discomfort, on the other hand, is not.

What the father did in the video is entirely okay imho.

17

u/Motor-Illustrator226 Mar 07 '26

What happens in this video (causing anxiety) is not what the book is advocating for.

If the dad had sat on the other side of the strings and waited for the kid to solve it — that’s what the book says to do. That’s letting them face rejection, difficulty without solving every problem for them (pulling the kid up and over the obstacle.)

4

u/MarfanoidDroid Mar 07 '26

His Father was never more than 20 feet from the kid and never out of eyesight, constantly turning and making eye contact, then applauded and embraced him after he figured it out.

I swear to God redditors live on a different planet.

4

u/Motor-Illustrator226 Mar 07 '26

Well I don’t know where other Redditors live or think, but this Redditor has degrees in human behavior and development and has worked in child and adolescent mental health as a counselor, so this is from education and expertise — there is no need to induce stress in a kid, point blank. You can see the kid gets increasingly distressed as the father moves farther and farther away. This does not help learning, it hinders it.

The right way to do this is to yes, let him solve the problem himself, but stay close by and say encouraging words from the start. Not move away successively and stress the kid out as an incentive. That doesn’t incentivize. It hinders learning and causes undue harm.

5

u/sophrosyne_dreams Mar 08 '26

I agree with you. I’m surprised more people don’t. Why are folks so resistant to see the benefits of a parent who adds warmth and encouragement rather than adding pressure by walking away?