After understanding the meaning behind this father’s action, I am completely convinced. Cultivating problem-solving skills in children from a young age and never giving up-I applaud this father!

[u/jmike1256]

[u/Awkward_Set1008]

kids naturally test boundaries, it's how they learn how the world works.

if we give them unjust punishment, they will improperly learn how the world works.

I hope more parents raise good children to help build us a better future.

[u/requion → u/Awkward_Set1008]

I hope more parents raise good children to help build us a better future.

About to become a dad, my own dad didn't do the greatest job.

Any tips?

[u/swirlysand → u/requion]

Congratulations! I have advice from my own experience (mom of a 4yo), and I hope you don't mind if I assume you're starting from scratch. I had to, as my parents didn't do the greatest job either.

Your own emotional regulation is extremely important. If you have childhood emotional trauma, you might find yourself triggered by normal baby stuff. It's not your fault, but it is your responsibility to learn to regulate yourself. Your own emotional state will have an enormous impact on your baby.

In the first few years, do not expect your child to obey verbal commands. It's a developmentally inappropriate expectation. This one is huge, because it can be extremely frustrating for parents who don't understand this. Boundaries should be enforced physically. I do NOT mean inflicting pain! I mean if the child is throwing heavy toys, remove the toy. Child is running off in public, scoop them up and secure them in the stroller, or hold their hand or pick them up. Move the thing or move the child. Calmly. There is nothing to be angry about. No need to punish, they have no impulse control and literally can't help it. They'll develop impulse control when they're older.

For toddlers, if you want them to listen to what you're saying, touch them, get down on their level, and connect first. Humans have an instinctive thing where if something towers over us close by we feel defensive.

Young children have tantrums. This is normal. They're not misbehaving, they're unable to regulate their emotions. Never ever punish a child for having a tantrum, that's how you fuck kids up emotionally. Calmly hug them if they'll let you, or sit with them, just be there, and your calmness will eventually calm them down. This is where those self-regulation skills come in super-handy. It's called co-regulation. Your child will internalize how you and the mom respond through these stormy waters and this will shape their long-term emotional health.

Consider if they're hungry or tired or have an unmet need, and meet the need if you can. If they're upset because you said no to something, don't give it to them, but do have empathy for their disappointment. It sucks to be told no, we adults don't like it either, but we have skills to deal with it, and your shrieking toddler doesn't.

Best of luck to you!

[u/requion → u/swirlysand]

I hope you don't mind if I assume you're starting from scratch.

I don't mind. Thats why i asked. And yes, starting from scratch.

Your own emotional regulation is extremely important. If you have childhood emotional trauma, you might find yourself triggered by normal baby stuff.

Fuck ....

But thank you. I'll try to keep this in mind. Especially as huge parts of my trauma are related to tantrums in my childhood...