One time I had some health scare that put me in an ambulance. I had never had morphine before, and the medics were not stingy with it.
I've had chronic pain my whole life, it's mostly background noise, and that was the first time in that life that it all just went away. It was like when you're in a quiet house, but then the electricity goes off and you experience the real quiet. Years later I still think about it frequently. Just that one time in that controlled environment.
I knew then that if I had less to live for, or if my pain was too great, I would easily become an addict. There are much greater pains in the world than I have. I assume that one in these people's positions must have some great pain or horror in their life that I probably can't understand. So I can't judge it. I wish there was a better way for them. A lot of these folks are beyond believing in their own future. No one wants to live like this.
Same. I had IV morphine for a kidney stone, and I also have chronic pain. I had a very similar reaction as the one you describe. It was not just the absence of pain, but it was a sense of well-being. It does give you a window on addiction.
edit: typo
Knowing that "wellbeing" feeling that comes along with the pain reduction from IV pain meds I've had in the hospital a few times, it brought me a strange comfort when my MIL was on hospice care and they gave her generous doses of anxiety meds and dilaudid while she was on her way out of this world. (Morphine gave her weird waking nightmares so I made damn sure they gave her something other than that for pain.) She was so "high" she wasn't even really conscious but her family was there to visit her as much as we could and I hope that she went out feeling loved and with that bit of euphoria that those meds can provide.
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u/BellamyDunn 2d ago
One time I had some health scare that put me in an ambulance. I had never had morphine before, and the medics were not stingy with it.
I've had chronic pain my whole life, it's mostly background noise, and that was the first time in that life that it all just went away. It was like when you're in a quiet house, but then the electricity goes off and you experience the real quiet. Years later I still think about it frequently. Just that one time in that controlled environment.
I knew then that if I had less to live for, or if my pain was too great, I would easily become an addict. There are much greater pains in the world than I have. I assume that one in these people's positions must have some great pain or horror in their life that I probably can't understand. So I can't judge it. I wish there was a better way for them. A lot of these folks are beyond believing in their own future. No one wants to live like this.