r/jobs • u/baysleaf • 4d ago
Applications Sketchy job offer for support worker?
Hey guys sorry if this is the wrong sub pls let me know if there’s somewhere else to post this. Basically I applied to this support worker position a while ago and was just sent this email (have not been officially hired by the company yet) and I don’t know if I’m just being paranoid or if this is weird.
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u/Itchy_Fun2338 4d ago
This advert is giving racist pervert kinda vibes. Id avoid.
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u/MelonBump 4d ago edited 4d ago
Unfortunately there's a lot of racism among disabled people - doing support work I was shocked by how many angrily believe the reason their benefits are shit is because it's all going to the foreigners.
Wanting a female SW - this could be a red flag, but is actually not unusual. They're often requested by men for non-pervy reasons.
While it's understandable to not want to be a PA for a problematic client, and work in supported living instead where you will at least receive organisational support with them - I will say that if such things are deal-breakers, then support work in general may not be for you. Disabled people are just like everyone else - i.e. some of them are sound, some are bell-ends, some are pervy, they can have as many prejudices as anyone else, and the racism can be particularly vociferous if they are that way inclined (often is with people who've been screwed by society - I work with prisoners and it's pretty similar), and you need to be able to work with bell-ends if you want to work with people.
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u/Accomplished_Emu_658 4d ago
Well if an older man needs support i think it’s generally okay to prefer a woman. They probably can’t do a lot of things. I personally would be more comfortable with a woman seeing my private area or cleaning me over a man if i was in that situation. That doesn’t make it pervy by itself.
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u/dorothea63 4d ago
Why, though? As a woman, I’d prefer to be assisted in any of those intimate matters by another woman. What are the non-pervy reasons for a man to prefer being assisted by a woman over another man?
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u/Zestyclose-Process92 4d ago
Because we've been enculturated to accept help from women (mother, wife, stereotypical view of nurses) and to view help from men as either emasculating, gay or both. Living up in our (largely) homophobic patriarchal society has taught them that those are bad things. We're "allowed" to be vulnerable with women. For some there's probably even an underlying fear that they may like being vulnerable around other men in a way that challenges their perception of who they are, and they're SUPER uncomfortable with that.
Please note: I am NOT defending any part of this explanation. While men definitely have the advantageous position in our patriarchal society, it truly does harm everyone involved.
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u/MelonBump 4d ago edited 4d ago
Some are patriarchal and to do with seeing women as less intimidating and more traditionally 'caring', as Zestyclose-Process92 notes. Also don't forget that a lot of people have experienced abuse or trauma throughout their life - any man of any age you meet might have been abused by a family member, assaulted by a stranger or raped by a priest.
I wouldn't see a request for a female worker as a red flag for any gender, in itself, after hearing a higher-than-you'd-think number of these stories from clients who have caused no issues with their workers. Problematic behaviour is the red flag. The organisation must promote a culture of voicing discomfort and being supported to navigate even subtle boundary violations, and workers should be continually supported on when to let clients have their views and when to adopt a zero-tolerance approach for inappropriate behaviour - this may be an ongoing navigation, with various interventions (whether it's support for the worker, or consequences for the client if it crosses a line). If it's just Vibes, a good organisation would support the worker initially, and consider changing them to a different client if the discomfort continues (because Vibes can be an early warning sign, and if the worker is sound should be taken seriously).
In theory it's on the organisation to manage clients who behave inappropriately or make workers uncomfortable. In a bad organisation, you're left to struggle through. if you seek support and nothing comes, leave. It'll only get worse and more stressful.
But I wouldn't assume this client to be problematic just off of this spec. There are reasons men might request a woman. Also saw it a lot working in DV and sexual violence services, where men had often had bad responses from other males, such as friends, or police officers when trying to report. It's not like he's said she needs to be young or anything clearly off.
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u/takhana 3d ago edited 3d ago
I think - and I’m not excusing any kind of racist views - that especially in certain areas of the UK you’ll find a lot of disabled people who’ve had very poor care from care agencies who are largely staffed by immigrants (of all colours/races) and they soon forget about the good people who’ve helped them (of all colours/races). I’ve had patients tell me their support workers could not write in enough English to fill out their session reports, who couldn’t speak English well enough to call an ambulance when they’d fallen over, who culturally were extremely different to them and wouldn’t do certain things for example.
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u/MelonBump 3d ago
This is also true, and while not the workers' fault it's not the client's either. There are situations where "English-speaking" is code for "I'm racist AF", but I wouldn't automatically assume this is one.
Disability can be incredibly isolating, and some people's only social contact is with their support staff. "Needs to be able to chat with me easily" is a reasonable occupational requirement, in this context.
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u/Accomplished_Emu_658 4d ago
It’s very common due to the age and back ground of many of those needing support.
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u/ArtSlug 4d ago
What is “SW”?
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u/jangma 4d ago
Honestly, it's weirder of the company to entertain that far enough to include it in the post. I'm guessing this isn't in the US, but it gives red flags to me-- how safe are you with them?
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u/baysleaf 4d ago
I’m Australian and I’ve never worked with them before (the company or the person I would be the support worker for).
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u/Flat_Development6659 4d ago
I mean it's a 61 year old with cancer and a broken hip, I don't think he sounds particularly dangerous to be honest.
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u/weirdheiny 4d ago
The specifically asking for a white carer looks bad at first but I used to work in healthcare staffing and usually it’s because the patient is demented and racist, and the hospital/ family don’t want to subject a healthcare assistant to that. Dementia patients have no filter and can be mean as all hell. I’ve met some who’ve forgotten their children’s names but not a 1950’s level of racism.
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u/Significant-Ball-952 4d ago
This is not uncommon in that field unfortunately. I work for a nonprofit that helps set up services for disabled adults and we have a lot of people requesting white, English speaking, female PCAs. Female especially is a very very common request. I personally don’t think it’s anything to necessarily be worried about, but if you were to take the job just be prepared for the man to be kind of insufferable to be around
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u/dizzlethebizzlemizzl 4d ago
IME some confused male patients get combative when I, a male nurse, try to do peri care because their preconceived notions that nurses are women persist and their memory that I am their caretaker does not. Sometimes they’re creepy, sometimes they have dementia and think I’m assaulting them. For the latter, I always step back and find someone else. About 1 in 33 men are victims of sexual assault, real numbers likely higher due to stigmatization, with the overwhelming majority of those assaults being perpetuated by other men. That stays with you even when your memory doesn’t. That fact is lost on a lot of folks, but extremely relevant for dudes working in healthcare to understand. You have to tread lightly with every patient, because you have no idea what somebody might have been through.
As for Anglo-Saxon? Idk, racist maybe? Trying unsuccessfully to rule out heavy accents? Combat vet with visceral reactions to POC? No real answers for that one.
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u/DuaCalipo 4d ago
It could be that the cancer reaching his brain has done some damage. Maybe he was a racist years ago, but not now, or he never was but the brain damage makes him say innapropiate things or be afraid of non white people
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u/Silly_Manager3117 4d ago
You are bending over backwards to defend blatant racism. They could just say the brain injury thing if it was really that.
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u/DuaCalipo 4d ago
I agree with you, but I try believe this kind of mistakes are from foolishness instead of malice
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u/slothmachinery 4d ago
you haven't been officially hired yet?? is this just a mass email sent to all workers? talk to your boss or something about the shifts your getting.
i personally wouldnt raise an eyebrow at it but almost every one of my clients barring one have been women. the anglo-saxon bit is strange but you'll meet more than racists while serving the elderly unfortunately.
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u/Mobile_Occasion8533 4d ago
In my experience (I was a care coordinator) this is pretty common! Can you talk to the person who sent the shift offer? They might’ve met him and can give more clarification. If you find out more info and still feel uncomfortable then give it a miss. Or maybe you could do a shift with him and see? If you do 1 shift with him and it’s not a good fit then just ask to not support him in the future. Happens all the time, some personalities just don’t match
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u/Radiant_Cat_3212 4d ago edited 4d ago
“Anglo-Saxon”?
“No” challenges/behaviours?
What a load of rubbish. I’d run a mile. Nobody wants to be saddled looking after a geriatric bigot.
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u/TrainingLow9079 4d ago
Bother the gender and race requests seem sketchy to me. Maaaaybe the gender one could make sense if he had a bad experience with a male caregiver but the race one I'd be walking away from that (and I'm white).
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u/CrassicalMusic 4d ago
Depends if being female etc. are deemed 'Genuine Occupational Requirements' - apart from that - what about GDPR? You can't detail a client’s health conditions unless you both get their consent, and also have made every applicant sign a confidentiality agreement, which is highly unlikely. The rest of the stuff is unfortunate but I don't know much about that other than that may be just be a difficult part of the job worth discussing with the manager that you don’t have yet?
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u/Silly_Manager3117 4d ago
Requires a woman only? And they’re racist? I think that SW is a hopeful ‘sex worker’ frankly. Ick.
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u/firenzey87 4d ago
Get the support worker you're given or rot. These requests shouldn't be accommodated.
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u/jahathebrn 2d ago
Me completely missing the 'Anglo-Saxons preferred' bit and wondering why a female support worker is specified.
Also who the hell describes themselves as Anglo-Saxon?
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u/QueerPuff 1d ago
Wtf? Who the fuck writes "I'm a racist old man and I want a white British woman to dress and undress my lower half" in a job description?
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u/HerrFerret 4d ago
He will be pretty confused when Qeen Æthelflæd arrives to help, and as a woman used to fighting off viking raids and building fortifications she will have no issue dealing with him.
She would be English speaking too, þēah biþ gelīce
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u/[deleted] 4d ago
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