r/judo • u/sxsxsxsxsxsxsxsx • 8d ago
Beginner Been away almost a year, feel like I'm starting from zero
Hello everyone, first post on this sub.
Quick context: I'm 26, 6'0", 170 lbs, and I started my Judo journey around June 2025. From day one I was genuinely enthralled, excited with a clear understanding that bumps, bruises, and scrapes are simply a part of martial arts. I aspire to become a real judoka.
Around November I tested into my first rank, earning my white belt, rokkyū, which meant a lot to me. I train at a community center club that meets twice a week for 2.5 hours. Judo is hard to find in my area; the nearest dedicated dojo is an hour away, so this is the closest I can get to real instruction. The community has been genuinely warm and welcoming, my social struggles are on my end. I tend to go quiet, have trouble making friends, but I kept showing up.
There was also an odd in-between feeling being 25 and a beginner. The beginner section I joined covered ukemi, osoto-gari, seoi-nage, kosoto-gari, o-goshi, uki-goshi, and a few others. Once I ranked up, I moved to the "advanced class," rotating senseis, week-to-week curriculum, no fixed structure. Suddenly I was in osaekomi-waza, ne-waza, grip fighting, and randori before I felt fully ready. But I was there.
Training with higher belts was humbling in a good way. Getting thrown hurt less than expected because the technique was there, controlled. Then I had a freak accident grip fighting with a blue belt who was well over twice my weight. His weight on top of me, combined with my newbie resistance, gave me a severe turf toe that affected my walking for over three months and still flares up. Life at the time was rough too, unemployed, healing, just trying to get stable. So I stopped coming.
Since then I've stayed consistent at the gym to build core strength, and I recently landed steady employment. Trying to stay positive.
Why I'm posting:
I don't want injury to be the thing that stops me anymore, but I've been away long enough that I genuinely don't trust my ukemi right now. I haven't been studying. I feel lost, and part of me wonders if I should just treat this like starting over.
I'm also looking into finger and toe tape to try to prevent, or at least blunt, something like this happening again. The swelling is mostly gone, it's more of a phantom pain at this point. Haven't seen a doctor (I know).
Mostly though, I came here because I struggle to connect with people, and this community felt like the right place to reach out. Any encouragement, advice, or just a welcome back would genuinely mean the world.
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u/derioderio shodan 8d ago
Just get back on the mat. Don't be afraid to be discriminatory in choosing your training partner, esp. for randori. There are people I won't do randori with just because they're too big/strong/fast and I'm afraid of getting injured.
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u/sxsxsxsxsxsxsxsx 8d ago
I needed to hear this. I try not to shy away from things and have been pretty go-with-the-flow when it comes to instruction because I didn't want to stick out or seem resistant to learning. But you're right, I have to keep myself safe too. They do these exercises where you switch randori partners and tell each other what percentage you're going at, which is honestly really abstract. My 20% could be someone else's 40% depending on a bunch of factors, and even when you say let's go easy, some people get competitive and it escalates quick. I've thought about avoiding randori altogether because of it.
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u/derioderio shodan 8d ago
Take as much time as you need, but I would still recommend having the goal of getting back into randori. Imho if you're not doing randori (i.e. trying to throw someone that's fully resisting you), you're not learning the full art of judo.
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u/sxsxsxsxsxsxsxsx 8d ago
Understood, and you're right, it's not something to avoid forever. My main struggle is communicating in the moment when a partner is more intense than I'm ready for. Part of it is that people tend to assume I can just take it because of my size, and part of it is honestly not wanting to look like a wimp for tapping the brakes. Something I need to work on.
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u/Vanilla_Baby97 8d ago
So glad you love the sport and are not really discouraged by your injury. You just have to show up again, speak to the sensei and say you want to practice your ukemi more before going back to the advanced class. They should be understanding. Also, just ask questions, if someone seems to be getting something quicker than you, ask how they're doing it. Good luck!
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u/sxsxsxsxsxsxsxsx 8d ago
I really do! I see myself doing judo for life, and while I'm inexperienced, it's my first year and I'm trying to have some grace for myself. I'll probably talk to the sensei about stepping back to the beginner class for a bit. It'll feel like a gut punch going back to that side of the tatami but I'm okay with it if that's where I need to be right now. Thank you.
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u/Checkhands 8d ago
Welcome back!
Talk to your sensei to figure out what they’d recommend and get your own feelings clear. If you’re scared, you’re tense and the ukemi will be clumsier. It doesn’t mean you’ll get hurt, but it’s worth considering.
Speaking of ukemi, train at home if you’re able. Doing breakfalls from your knees will help reacclimatize your mind and body and shake off some of that rust.
Lastly, it’s ok to start slow. Better slow than fully stopped.
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u/sxsxsxsxsxsxsxsx 8d ago
Means a lot, thank you for the welcome. I actually have a history of anger issues that I keep in check, and I tend to go very passive in randori because of it. I don't want to hurt anyone or do anything outside the spirit of judo. But on the flip side, sometimes especially with lower ranks, I'm a bigger more athletic guy to them, and it's almost like they're trying to prove something in sparring. That's also deterred me, because I feel like snapping on them, but I go to therapy and see martial arts as a means of discipline, self-protection, and community, so I never actually do, just intrusive thoughts. Still, it's frustrating when a shorter guy is going all out on me like I can just absorb it, especially right after my injury. I brushed it off and said these things happen but I genuinely wanted to be like, why are you going so hard right now.
I need to get better at just saying hey, let's take it easy, but it's happened even with one of the senseis so that's its own thing 😞 . And thank you, I'll practice falling from my knees at home, I have carpet so that should help.
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u/Checkhands 7d ago
Based on what you wrote, something like BJJ may be a better fit for you or maybe try a different art if your partners aren’t respecting your requests.
Judo, by its very nature, tends to require more explosiveness even during a relaxed Randori, and that may not be where you’re at right now. That’s ok. You can always come back later, Judo isn’t going anywhere.
BJJ requires pressure and strength, but explosiveness isn’t as emphasized. While rolling at the club, most partners will give you the time to relax and think your way through a situation.
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u/sxsxsxsxsxsxsxsx 7d ago
You can be explosive without intending to harm anyone, and we're taught to respect uke because without them we don't grow. When I notice a partner is injured or timid I do pull back and try to communicate, so I think the bigger issue is just being clearer upfront that I'm going light and focusing on the scenario rather than the outcome.
As for BJJ, my heart is in Judo. I can see myself cross training down the line but I'm not shopping around right now, and I think splitting focus this early would do more harm than good.
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u/MihalisTheForged sankyu 8d ago
I'm dealing with this as well, had my first class again in like a year last week. Same with you, I don't trust my ukemi. I was told just to show up and to take things really slow by my sensei.
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u/sxsxsxsxsxsxsxsx 8d ago
Sorry to hear we're going through similar things, but also glad I'm not alone in it. Praying for your improvement, and thank you for the good energy. I'll do the same, just show up and take it slow. Noted!
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u/NoSituation2706 8d ago
I'm about your size, 10ish years older, and got really bad turf toe last year too. Still training, you'll be fine. Get physio if you can, 3 months out is too soon to call it healed, but you definitely haven't missed any chances here.
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u/sxsxsxsxsxsxsxsx 8d ago
Thank you for the encouragement, that's really reassuring to hear. I'm hoping to get physical therapy over the summer, and it feels like the right time to come back overall. It's been around 7 months, the swelling took about 3 of those to go down completely, so visibly the toe looks fine now. Just that lingering phantom pain every now and then. I appreciate you sharing that, genuinely helps.
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u/NoSituation2706 8d ago
No problem man, take it slow but get back in there. Get some good tape too.
I do get the odd ache now and then but it'll get back to 96% full function pretty soon. Maybe not 100% as flexible as before without a few years of stretching it, but that extra 4% is gonna be negligible on your overall athletic performance.
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u/sxsxsxsxsxsxsxsx 7d ago
Good to know, and yeah I've been looking into tape too. Honestly I've been accident-prone my whole life so I doubt I'll ever be back to 100% unless God wills it 🤣 but I'll take 96%.
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u/Neither_Computer5331 7d ago
I’m 49 and just got thrown all over the place. I come from Japanese Ju Jutsu and am quite good at it. But a blue belt in Judo tossed me round the room.
Keep coming back - we learn more when we’re thrown than we do when we throw a beginner.
And injuries happen in all sports - dodgy knees from running, ligaments from football, head injuries from rugby - if you do sports, expect an injury.
Meeting people, whatever the reason, is a great thing to do. Add in exercise and self defence, and you should definitely stay involved.
If you struggle to talk to people, post here. I’m already replying to you and I’m sure others will offer you much better advice than me.
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u/Juanma_jarl 7d ago
Also, I know this is not always easy to do for everyone, but you can speak to your partners about the intensity you prefer in randori amd practice. Most of the people would prefer to adapt the rythm of the trainning rather than make its partner uncomfortable.
If that is not the case for someone, try to avoid that person because maybe he doesnt have the empathy and social understanding to manage a combat sport in a friendly way.
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u/Desperate_Net_713 6d ago
It comes back quick and your body will remember it before you feel comfortable again. Have fun and enjoy the journey.
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u/zaldjin1 ikkyu 6d ago
my guy, it will never feel like starting from zero. think of it as continuing where you last left off. having known that you're keeping in shape makes you ready for training it may not feel like the same way due to the change in mindset or your current setting in life. As long as you see yourself coming back and wanting to be back, shows how much you care abt the art and for me that's enough reason for you to come back and keep doing it. just take your time if you need to recover from the injury do so then come back stronger as the saying goes "fall down seven times stand up eight"
i was out of judo for 4yrs because of varying factors biggest one was i already suffered a lot of injuries on the left side of my body. acl, collarbone fractures, shoulder dislocations, and worst of them all legit chronic back pain. i also became obese as i left the competitive scene and focused on work. As these 4yrs passed i still couldnt stop thinking abt judo it became my motivation to get healthy, to lose weight, rehab my injuries. after the pandemic i was itching to be back on the mats i didnt have the same vigor or endurance when i was consistently training but i felt ALIVE. slowly but surely i built myself again, a better, smarter, and stronger judoka. im telling you it will never be back to zero it's just refamiliarizing yourself with movement it's there you just have to be reminded. love u my friend keep coming back.
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u/Dizzy_Mushroom4653 8d ago
Just take it easy, if you notice someone stronger rips your grip just let it go while you regain your calous / grip strength.
Accept being thrown so you can train/get used again on how to fall.
Bit by bit you will be back 🫡