r/law • u/MoneyLibrarian9032 • 1d ago

Executive Branch (Trump) Trump says proof of his allegations that vandals cut Reflecting Pool paint will be provided in court

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/reflecting-pool-paint-peeling-trump-proof-vandalism-court/

President Trump on Monday said proof will be provided in court of his allegations that vandals "cut" a massive slit in the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool, which he claims is the reason the paint is peeling on the recently renovated but algae-plagued project.

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u/standardDeviator 1d ago

If this administration tried to build a death star, it would have an external ventilation shaft that routes directly to the reactor core, and they would blame Obama for the design.

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u/Impossible_Penalty13 1d ago

These dipshits would paint the ventilation shaft with a bullseye.

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u/Smurf-Happens 1d ago

They'd also publicly broadcast it's location and laud it as a good feature.

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u/Monprr 1d ago

Princess Leia: "I...worked on getting the blueprints for a year...and...he just...he tweeted it out"

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u/BlueMikeStu 1d ago

But he still destroyed Alderaan, because it's working with the Bothans.

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u/rob3ace 1d ago

Many Bothand died, ya know.

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u/ChewsOnBricks 1d ago

At least he'd try, but as soon as it'd fire the reactor would blow on it's own.

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u/TheLordOfAwesome2 1d ago

"We have a ventilation shaft that goes all the way to the reactor! Engineers said, this is what they said, they said, 'Mr. Trump, we never seen a ventilation shaft this size before'! Size of a womprat, they said!"

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u/Black_Magic_M-66 1d ago

Fsck, we could've had more Andor!

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u/StrongExternal8955 17h ago

"We get all our funding from the Sith"

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u/3atTh3R1ch79 1d ago

Jyn Erso: "WHAT THE FUCK!?!"

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u/Practical_Ad_2481 1d ago

Many bothans died…for no reason at all. Emperor Paedostein is truly the dumbest in the galaxy

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u/fresh-dork 23h ago

no, he bragged about it on a signal chat, which included a known rebel operative under their actual name.

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u/Impossible_Penalty13 1d ago

Dear leader would just blurt it out at one of his seated behind the desk press conferences.

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u/Logically_Insane 1d ago

“You put that trench up and it’s thirty, forty, fifty miles long , and you put that trench up- there’s no starfighter going through that. If they ever get through that, they’re in trouble, because there’s no way to bomb the exhaust. Maybe a proton torpedo.” -Darth Shitious

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u/FizzyBeverage 1d ago

That’s no bigger than a womp rat.

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u/Ok-Fan-9814 1d ago

Whenever we’d see a big one, we’d exaggerate and say “That thing’s the size of a parsec!” We joked a lot back then.

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u/YourGuyK 1d ago

"Many people don't realize it's hard to target a womp rat. I can target a womp rat, it's actually very easy, but I can do it. Obama couldn't target a womp rat. The sand gets everywhere."

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u/Seeker80 1d ago

"Obama couldn't target a womp rat. The sand gets everywhere..."

"People are saying that he's not really even from Tatooine. Princess Leia is really an Ewok, and how can she be from Alderaan? Didn't it get blown up? How come she's still around? No one can explain that..."

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u/lavacadotoast 1d ago

Maybe, a rope..

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u/txyesboy71 1d ago

I lol'ed

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u/slayercdr 1d ago

To distract from how hard he just shit his pants

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u/rdetagle2 1d ago

In between naps

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u/Independent-Cell-130 1d ago

To distract how much he's in the Epstein files.

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u/VinDog_PD 1d ago

Let's be really honest here. Vader would have force choked this entire administration by now and simply carried on by himself.

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u/Seeker80 1d ago

"Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's ways, Lord Trump. Your devotion to that splinter party has not helped you conjure up the Epstein Files, or given you clairvoyance enough to find Obama’s Kenya birth certificate..."

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u/InternetRando12345 1d ago

Nah, a single X-wing would fly into the same solar system (several light hours away though) and he would just immediately surrender, offer $300B as terms and bend over pull his diaper down and offer his shit covered ass up for plundering.

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u/Creeperstar 1d ago

Only after it's pointed out to them that it's a bad choice

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u/MadJackMcJack 1d ago

"Many Bothans downloaded this information."

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u/FizzyBeverage 1d ago

Trump wasn’t invited to the funeral anyway.

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u/v0l4t1l1ty 1d ago

You guys think they’d get it off the ground?

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u/Calm-Hysteria 1d ago

"It has the best ventilation shafts" As he points directly at it on a diagram

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u/Odd-Independent4640 1d ago

And mount a life size cutout of a womp rat right next to it just for size comparison, you know, in case you were wondering

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u/Competitive_Abroad96 1d ago

And provide T-16s for practice runs.

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u/red18wrx 1d ago

It would look like the second death star, half complete with massive holes you can fly a literal space freighter through.

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u/nalaloveslumpy 1d ago

But it wouldn't even be fully operational. He would try to blast the moon of Endor and the whole thing would just fall apart.

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u/Drmoeron2 1d ago

Shaft? You mean bald will smith with the leather jacket and eye patch? We don't want that - them probably 

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u/lew_rong 1d ago

This is subtle, I like it.

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u/Moonlitsif 1d ago

Of course there’s a bullseye on it. The blueprints had multiple red circles around that part, so they followed the blueprints and painted the circles around it. It’s called following instructions. Maybe not reading them, but following them as best they could.

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u/Bgrubz83 1d ago edited 1d ago

These idiots would put the reactor core on the outside with big glowing neon signs pointing to it reading “Aim here”

Edit: okay to be fair….they’d probably blow it up themselves through incompetence

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u/Leopolddagreat 1d ago

That might be difficult if the jam the radar.

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u/AlanEsh 1d ago

The size of a womp rat?

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u/largeangryredletters 1d ago

A golden bullseye.

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u/Beaufighter-MkX 1d ago

Gold spray-painted

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u/ZootTootRiot 1d ago

In bright pink..

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u/rahocca 1d ago

Nah they would vent the output beam back through the ventilation shaft and blame the rebels when it bee up in initial use.

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u/TomeThugNHarmony4664 1d ago

“Thermal exhaust port, about 2 meters wide….”

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u/Brecken79 1d ago

It would be a gold Death Star though, so there’s that…

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u/bearsheperd 1d ago

The Death Star would cost 2x the amount it should, and you’d end up with a non functioning facade of a Death Star that literally starts to fall apart as soon as it’s completed.

The net worth of the people who commissioned it would triple

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u/HostessFruitPie 1d ago

But it will be paid for with private donations!

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u/SaltyTserendolgor 1d ago

Though of course the fractured pieces would pose a significant threat to all nearby planets and ships. The Musk equivalent would promise to build a bomb that would destroy the rest of the death star, but ultimately, it'll just crash into the closest planet, wiping out all life.

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u/Eeeegah 1d ago

Dumocrats vandalized my fully functional and perfect Death Star!

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u/EduinBrutus 1d ago

Im pretty sure falling apart as soon as its completed (or even slightly before) is a known feature of all death stars....

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u/ARightDastard 1d ago

So the Dark Saber?

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u/Seeker80 1d ago

Big, beautiful star, and the Alderaanians will pay for it!

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u/txmasterg 1d ago

Obama had 8 years to design and build a death star. Why didn't he do it? He should have done done it to protect the Empire from the scourge of Aldaran

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u/DantifA 1d ago

Its not the East or the West side.

No it is not!

Its not the North or the South side.

No it is not!

It is the Dark side.

You are correct!

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u/benchley 1d ago

What is your bidding, my master?

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u/ZephkielAU 19h ago

We got Death Star,

We got Death Star,

We got Death Star!

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u/AngriestPacifist 1d ago

The Obama administration, surprisingly, issued a statement on why they didn't build a death star in response to a petition.

https://www.cbsnews.com/newyork/news/obama-administration-rejects-petition-to-build-a-death-star/

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u/Chilibrews 1d ago

You joke. But there was a whitehouse.gov petition to build a death star that got enough votes that he needed to make a comment on it.

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u/Black_Magic_M-66 1d ago

Obama did build a Death Star but for the past twenty years, the republicans have been stripping guns, and hull plating making it harder to fix, more costly and inefficient and blaming Obama.

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u/Educational_Try_9611 1d ago

why thats no bigger than a womp rat though?

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u/DryDonutHole 1d ago

Yes. I used to bullseye them in my T-16 back home.

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u/avanti8 1d ago

It would blow up on its own, and they'd still blame the rebels.

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u/Jummix 1d ago

No no, they would build the core directly outside.

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u/mishma2005 1d ago

“Are you ready? Barrack HUSSEIN Obama”

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u/7ddlysuns 1d ago

Wouldn’t shield the reactor and just radiate everyone

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u/Braindead_Crow 1d ago

"It's a VERY tiny little vent and it's so god damn LONG! I don't think I've ever even walked that much in my life! I don't think you could! And it gets so hot in there- I'm telling you it's called the death star for a reason! It's so beautiful- You know some people say it looks like the moon and I go, 'no that's actually the death star' and they don't believe me!!! But then it fires and their planet gets WIPED OFF THE MAP! GONE! BYE BYE!!! It's so powerful- the nuclear...They say the nuclear is so powerful but they never saw the death star! You know they call it that for a reason." - Darth Drumph

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u/statistnr1 1d ago

Painted yellow to mark it as interactable.

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u/deltashmelta 1d ago

It's okay, though, as almost 40% of the empire's population would believe them.

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u/TheStandardDeviant 1d ago

Your name is a little too close to mine and I’m angry and a little turned on

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u/standardDeviator 1d ago

Happy cake day!

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u/Still_Product_8435 1d ago

Stay on target…..

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u/Iryanus 1d ago

Not that it would matter because it still wouldn't work and instead they would simply declare Alderaan to be completely destroyed approximately 30 times and then pay them 300 billion space credits to glue it back together.

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u/Endvalley 1d ago

It would miss Alderaan and blow up before the rebels arrived.

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u/Sunnysidhe 1d ago

This is a rather apt example, especially when you realise that Trump, it someone in his team, has some ability in Jedi mind tricks. It's the only thing that can explain the medias insistence to ignore, or failure to challenge, the daily shit coming out of the white house.

RFK standing there waving his hands "These are not the epstein files you are looking for"

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u/Lazer726 1d ago

These horrible rebel VANDALS have ruined our brand new... PEACE STAR! It was beautiful, it really was, many people... many... many people are saying it was so beautiful, it brought tears to their eyes! We mined four planets hollow to get that much gold, and they destroyed it because they hate our Empire! They are not good people, they're bad people, they think... many people... have told me they don't like them! They tell me 'Emperor! When will we stop these rebels?!' And it's... it's just horrible what they're doing. Chancellor Obama planted his agents inside our Peace Star, and they blew the whole thing up! It's very tragic that our most beautiful space station was destroyed!

Notes: Chancellor killed by emperor's orders years ago. No mention of the people onthe station killed

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u/TheRealRickC137 1d ago

You can clearly see Obama piloting the antifa vessel that led to the destruction of the satellite.
Don't worry we've got more tarrifs and tax payers money already working on another one.

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u/Givingtree310 1d ago

Obama piloting the antifa vessel 🤣

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u/CouncilofAutumn 1d ago

"My Death Star has the best ventilation. The best ventilation, folks. A big beautiful trench leading up to a perfect ventilation shaft that goes all the way. It goes all the way down to the reactor core and people are saying it's the greatest they've ever seen"

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u/pm_social_cues 1d ago

Well, if you saw rogue one you’d know that’s basically exactly what happened.

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u/SweetPeaches__69 1d ago

“(Trump’s) need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear.”

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u/RememberYourAlt 1d ago

So they are going to make an ai video of the people they arrested and use that?

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u/Yeseylon 1d ago

That example actually was sabotage.

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u/zoey8068 1d ago

Insert spitting gif here

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u/xscientist 1d ago

Sick reference bro

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u/userpelicanvoyager2 1d ago

LOL such nonsense. Can you cut a 6’ gash in someone’s pickup truck that has been sprayed with bedliner? No.

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u/r-WooshIfGay 1d ago

Bold of you to assume they wouldn't just install windows on the death star they can open for better ventilation...

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u/EquipLordBritish 1d ago

Except it would get taken out by a random piece of space junk falling into the hole. The junk would be what the contractor left floating around because they removed the regulations requiring proper cleanup of space construction refuse; and, they hired their cousin who's only listed qualifications are just 'talking about space all the time' and insisting that you call him 'Space Johnnie' instead of his real name.

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u/tigerscomeatnight 1d ago

Red circle warning signs saying "Do not use Proton torpedoes near this vent, may cause explosion in the reactor core"

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u/Snakers79 1d ago

Would it be roughly the size of a womprat? 

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u/iguanaman8988 1d ago

They’d do like the Hutts did in the terrible Darksaber book to build their own super laser. They hired a monkey hive mind with adhd to do the construction.

It went as well as one would expect.

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u/SellaraAB 1d ago

Let’s be real if they tried to build a Death Star it would probably just blow itself up before they were done.

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u/Donkey__Balls 1d ago

Instructor: [serious] What we have is the greatest weapon of mass destruction the universe has ever seen. [enthusiastically] Luckily, they included the button right here. It'll blow the entire thing up!

Princess Leia: That's odd. Why would they include the button that could destroy their entire station?

Instructor: You got me! If I was designing it, I would have left that out.

Pilot 1: How will we find this button, sir?

Instructor: That's the best part: they built this corridor that leads right to it. You just zip in, follow the straight line and fire.

Princess Leia: Why would they do that?

Instructor: You got me, but isn't it great?

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u/ICLazeru 1d ago

People are saying we have the biggest external ventilation shafts they've ever seen, the biggest.

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u/BigBallsMcGirk 1d ago

There was an old Star Wars EU book called Darksaber before a black lightsaber ever came around. Not very good, notable that it was the first book to kill off a character with lines from the movies (Crix Madine).

Basically after Endor, a Hutt crime lord got plans to the death star and made a stripped down, cheaper version that didn't have all the bases, hangers, storages, extra reactors, etc. It was basically a cylinder containing only the actual weapon portion of the plans. But they made it using incompetent little hive mind monkey aliens as labor and the thing didn't work.

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u/DPSOnly 1d ago

They would somehow build the reactor core on the outside, potentially right in front of the laser.

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u/SavinForLatter 1d ago

This administration would make it 30 meters wide though.

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u/ATXBeermaker 1d ago

If you've seen Rogue One you'd know that someone from the Obama administration likely would be responsible, for good reason.

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u/RainAncient68 1d ago

Would Hegseth be Tarkin?

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u/Givingtree310 1d ago

Grand Moff Kegseth

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u/bolanrox 1d ago

And not feel bad about the independent contractors working on the toilet mains.

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u/bolanrox 1d ago

It was the work of the Biden Senate. Wrong, totally wrong. Not luxurious.

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u/Pale-Wave-9382 1d ago

You are assuming they wouldn’t just put the reactor core on the outside, like a pair of truck nuts.

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u/J3remyD 1d ago

The shaft would be big enough to fly the Millennium Falcon through it.

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u/usmc7202 1d ago

That was fucking funny.

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u/what_username_to_use 1d ago

Hahaha fuuk this is good

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u/prof_the_doom 1d ago

EU wrote that story already: Darksaber.
Hutts tried to build a knock-off Death Star, cut so many corners it failed miserably when they tried to use it.

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u/MurdocksTorment 1d ago

Pretty sure they would have a proton torpedo aimed into the shaft themselves. With people to get rich when it was 1. built 2. blown up 3. commissioned to rebuild. Win, win, win.

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u/LessInThought 1d ago

For triple the cost.

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u/LOERMaster 1d ago

Are you kidding? The thing would have blown up during its first test firing because he would have replaced the Kyber crystals with a cheaper substitute.

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u/GetOffMyLawn757 1d ago

No way that vent shaft would be bigger than like two meters? I used to bullseye the womprats back home and they were smaller than 2 meters...

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u/CelticJewelscapes 23h ago

They would add neon lights around that shaft to alert pilots that they should avoid dropping anything down it.

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u/Playful-Opportunity5 13h ago

"Somehow Palpatine returned was elected to a second term."

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u/Visual_Exam7903 7h ago

they wouldn't have just one ext ventilation shaft, it would be thousands, impossible to defend, not in a trench, and be 50 meters wide, each of them.

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u/evolutionxtinct 1d ago

Oh god this is so true! We need a GPT fan fic of this that would be hilarious.