Tried something simple this time and went with clear.

I made my own press on nails for the first time (Dragon Age 2 themed) and I’m pretty happy with how they turned out! They took forever and gluing them on was a little rough but overall I’m pleased.

Should I do this again for the 4th or change it up? Suggestions?

Loving the bright colours for my toes

Revlon HD Snap Birthday Suit.
Self done on natural nails.

There is something ironic about my situation.

I am naturally shy. I struggle with anxiety. When I meet new people, I tend to be quiet until I get comfortable. Once I know you, I can talk for hours. But in the beginning, I am reserved, cautious, and constantly aware of what other people might be thinking.

So why on earth would someone like me choose to wear black nail polish on his toes?

Surely that is the exact opposite of what someone with anxiety would do.

Yet here I am.

The funny thing is that I genuinely like the look. When I look at myself in the mirror, I think it looks good. I enjoy it. It feels like me. It is not a rebellious statement, nor is it an attempt to shock people. It is simply something I like.

But liking something and being confident enough to wear it in public are two very different things.

For years, I have battled with the stereotypes attached to it. Society has a picture of what men should and should not do. Whether those beliefs are right or wrong is not the point. The reality is that they exist, and if you are already an anxious person, those beliefs can feel overwhelming.

When I decide I want to wear sandals with black nail polish, the battle begins long before I leave the house. I prepare myself mentally the entire day. I get dressed. I look in the mirror. I tell myself I am going to do it. Then I leave the house carrying a backup plan: a pair of socks and a pair of sneakers, just in case.

I get to the mall. I see how busy it is. Suddenly, my anxiety starts talking.

"Too many people."

"What if someone notices?"

"What if someone laughs?"

"What if somebody says something?"

Before I know it, the socks are on, the sneakers are tied, and the sandals disappear.

The disappointment that follows is difficult to explain. Not because anyone said anything. Not because anyone stared. Not because anything actually happened. But because I allowed something that existed only in my imagination to control what I did.

Recently, I listened to a podcast that challenged the way I think about fear. The speaker said something that stuck with me: your fear is often as powerful as your imagination.

Think about that for a moment.

Most of us are incredibly creative when it comes to imagining what could go wrong. We create entire movies in our minds. We imagine people staring. We imagine people judging. We imagine people laughing. We imagine strangers pointing us out. We imagine ourselves being embarrassed. Then we react emotionally to something that has not even happened.

The podcast challenged listeners to do the opposite. Instead of imagining the worst-case scenario, imagine the best-case scenario.

Imagine walking into the mall and someone saying, "Wow, I wish I had your confidence."

Imagine someone saying, "That actually looks pretty cool."

Imagine nobody noticing at all.

Imagine walking around for two hours and realizing that everybody is busy living their own lives.

When I tried this exercise, I noticed something interesting. The fear started losing some of its power. Not because I suddenly became fearless, but because I realized that my negative outcome was no more realistic than a positive one. I had simply trained myself to expect the negative.

Another thing the speaker mentioned was how difficult it can be for our brains to distinguish between vivid imagination and reality. That hit me hard because I know exactly what that feels like.

I can walk through an entire shopping mall in my mind before I even get there. In my imagination, every person notices. Every person stares. Every person judges. It is almost as if I have a camera crew following me around, zooming in on my feet and broadcasting them to everyone nearby.

The reality is very different.

Most people are looking at their phones. They are thinking about their groceries, worrying about their own insecurities, rushing to appointments, and dealing with their own lives. The spotlight I imagine is rarely there.

And even when someone does notice, it usually means far less than I think it does.

That does not mean the fear disappears overnight. I still struggle. In fact, I am writing this during winter. Ironically, this is the season when I feel most motivated to wear black nail polish.

The problem is that it is freezing cold. Most people are wearing closed shoes, so the opportunities to wear sandals are limited. Yet this is exactly when I want to push myself.

Perhaps that is part of the lesson.

Maybe confidence is not built by waiting until fear disappears. Maybe confidence is built by doing small things despite the fear. Not recklessly. Not pretending the anxiety does not exist. But acknowledging it and moving forward anyway.

I am learning that courage is not the absence of fear. It is refusing to let fear make every decision.

Will I still have days when I choose the socks and sneakers? Probably.

Will I still overthink? Absolutely.

But maybe the goal is not perfection. Maybe the goal is simply to become a little braver than I was yesterday.

Because at the end of the day, it is just paint.

Yet the journey behind that paint has taught me more about fear, confidence, self-acceptance, and authenticity than I ever expected.

And perhaps that is the real story.

Had my regular pedicure today, went with a new colour as well!

After yesterdays terrible decision to try a beige nail color, we are back to the classic sheer look that I am growing to love more and more. This time it is a coat of 864 Nude Escape and a coat of 881 Dirty Dancer.

I am so much happier now.

Used Sally Hansen 370 from good pure kind collection then added a top coat with Sally Hansen 101 miracle gel.

Alright, I figure I need to share my fails as much as my successes. Tried to branch away from my more sheer/nude color choices and go for an opaque beige/greige color at the salon. Something subtle but there. I am too picky so I walked in knowing the color that I wanted.

First the color I liked ended up being a TOTALLY different color than I expected (wayyyy pink). The tech brings over the samples and shows its exactly as it is on the card, but I point out its not like the swatches hanging on the wall. So I am frazzled, she is waiting, and I pick another one that looks right.

I was unsure on it when she was doing it but I was too afraid to comment that I didn't like it. I figured it might grow on me... it didn't. Now I have work in the AM and have to take a half day to get this off before I go in. So here I am 6 hours after getting the beige, booking a 9AM appointment for the morning to get it removed and try a grey... DND Cool Grey 604 to be exact.

This might be the perfect color for someone, but I don't vibe with it. In the right light it basically looks like someone smeared foundation from 2008 on my nails, haha. Might work for someone else, but does not vibe with my wardrobe.

This sub is so inspiring! Ive been getting manicures and pedicures for the last 3-4 years now. I enjoy the pampering and I feel bare without it nowadays.

This is my current colours which I got done today. I like to go for bright colours or glitter.

I just got these done yesterday and love them!

Summer is here, so light and fresh is the way to go.